WASHINGTON, DC – Glenn Beck told his audience last night that he is related to Martin Luther King, Jr.

Right-wing media star Glenn Beck will lay claim to the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy in a rally Saturday on the National Mall, in the exact location that MLK gave his “I Have a Dream” speech.  Beck reserved the Lincoln Monument over a year ago for his rally.

Black Civil Rights leaders are furious that Beck snagged the Lincoln Memorial  on the 47th anniversary of the Dr. King’s historic March on Washington.  The Rev. Al Sharpton, however,  is planning his own rally, which will be held at Dunbar High School in DC.   Rev. Sharpton said that “Beck has no business being on at the Lincoln Memorial on MLK’s anniversary.  No business.”

Glenn Beck surprised Sharpton and other Black leaders when he said last night, “the fact is, I deserve to be there more than they deserve to be there.  Martin Luther King, Jr. was my brother.  We might have been born at different times to different parents, but he is my brother.”

Asked how Beck can make such a preposterous claim Beck said, “I was sitting in the den of my mansion in Connecticut and Martin Luther King’s appeared, sat down next to me.  He said we were brothers in another life and that we still are brothers and always will be brothers.  Martin Luther King is the one who told me to hold this rally. I’m just honoring his wishes.”

Sharpton responded to Beck’s claim, “I thought Beck was a little crazy before, but now I know that he got hit on the head when he was a kid.   Must’ve been a big rock. The man is certifiably insane.”

Beck said that not only did MLK tell him that he was his brother, but MLK told him “Glenn Beck, you are a black man.  You are the blackest black men in American right now.”  Beck told WWN, “I’m black and I’m proud and on Saturday, I’m going to say it out loud.”  Sharpton said, “If he’s black, then I’m a mermaid.”  Beck then challenged Sharpton to a “black-off” to see who can be more black. Sharpton declined.

Beck also made the wild claim that he was with MLK when King made his “I Have a Dream Speech” in 1963.   This makes no sense, given that Beck was born in 1964, but Beck offered this picture as proof that he was there:

Beck’s rally will be taking place at the Lincoln Memorial between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. this Saturday.  DC Police are expecting 50,000-100,000 people.  Glenn Beck estimates that there will be over 10 million people at the mall.  “We’ll be ten times better than the Million Man March.  Why?  Because I’m better than everybody.”

The rally’s official theme is “Restoring Honor.”  But the unofficial themes are: “Glenn Beck Is A Black Man,”  “The Glenn Beck Rally For Glenn Beck.”

There was no comment from Abraham Lincoln about the rally.  But Frank Lake of WWN will get him to talk this Saturday.

NEW YORK, NY – Images from Saturday’s Tea Party protests have been proven fake.  Glenn Beck begrudgingly admitted responsibility.

On Saturday conservative protesters filled the streets of Washington DC in protest to the Obama administration.  But they didn’t fill the streets as much as you’d think.  Images of the event, circulated on numerous news sources, which show the entire Capitol Mall and beyond filled with people, were clearly faked.  Beck has since admitted full responsibility for the images.

On his Monday night show Glenn Beck admitted to altering the images of the weekend’s protest.  Beck appeared sullen and visibly reluctant to do so.  Off screen the voice of one of his producers could be heard saying “Do it.  Say it Glenn.  OUR LAWYER SAYS SAY IT!!”  While looking down and scraping at the floor with his foot, Beck admitted to being the culprit.

Using Photoshop, some photos replicated the same group of protesters over and over to appear to make the crowd larger.  Unfortunately this was also done on some of the close up shots, which gave the game away.  Other photos claimed to be of this weekends protest were actually of the Million Man March, held by Louis Farrakhan in 1995.  There were even stills taken from the movie Forrest Gump.

Beck admitted that what he had done was “wrong” saying “On the surface I know that this looks unethical, or ‘wrong.’  But you have to look deeper than that.  What we’re trying to do is get the message out, and use one small evil to help prevent a much larger one: socialism.  The sentiment of these protests is the will of the American people!  All we did was exaggerate how many people were able to attend.  The Mainstream Media exaggerates and distorts the news to fit their left-wing anti-American agenda every night.  Shouldn’t the pro-American agenda have the chance to get their say?”

Glenn went on to say that he had since made his peace with Jesus, and is therefore legally and ethically absolved of the incident.