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BERNARD MADOFF PLEADS GUILTY
NEW YORK, NY – Bernard Madoff will plead guilty to 11 charges on Thursday, but only with a very particular plea bargain.
UPDATE: SANTA UNFROZEN
NORTH POLE – Santa Claus has yet again been frozen in a block of ice.
MADOFF SPENDS HANNUKAH WITH ALIEN
PALM SPRINGS, FL – Continuing a terrible holiday season, Bernard Madoff was banned from Hanukkah celebrations with his family, causing him to spend the first day with an unlikely Jew – The Alien!
PhD APE BUMPS INTO SPITZER
FT. LAUDERDALE, FL – During a short break from counseling Madoff investment victims, PhD Ape ran into a client begging for help – Elliot Spitzer!
BAT BOY CLOSING IN ON MADOFF
NEW YORK, NY – Having been released on bail, Bernie Madoff is now open game for Bat Boy!
BAT BOY HUNTS MADOFF
SENECA FALLS, W.VA – Bernard Madoff may be free on bail from fraud charges but Bat Boy has pledged to see him punished!
