LOS ANGELES – Arnold is wearing a T-Shirt with ‘I Survived Maria” on the front and  “I Survived Mildred” on the back!

Arnold is losing it.

The “Terminator” star was caught Monday sporting a white tee with the phrase “I Survived Maria” emblazoned on the front of the shirt with the dates of his relationship with ex Maria Shriver- “1977 – 2010″ at the bottom of the shirt.

On the back of his white tee the phrase “I Survived Mildred” is emblazoned with the dates of his relationship with his ex-maid, Mildred Baena – a relationship that coincided with his relationship with Maria:  1977-2010.

Insiders say that Arnold still thinks he has done nothing wrong.  “Arnold was told by men he respected in Austria, that a man should help himself to the nanny or maid.  It’s a man’s right.”

Arnold told friends that he and Dominique Strauss-Kahn believe in the same “help yourself to the maid” philosophy.  “It’s a European thing.”

Here’s Maria with her son, Christopher, in Brentwood yesterday:

Schwarzenegger and Shriver have filed for divorce after his love child scandal, but he still thought it’d be fun to wear the shirts in public.

“It’s a gag. Arnold and Maria are still talking every day,  and Arnold and Mildred are talking every day as well.  He thinks it’s funny and he thinks everyone else should think it’s funny, too.”

A source earlier told WWN that the former power couple is working amicably through divorce negotiations and spent significant time together last month after their youngest son suffered a nasty fall off a boogie board.

There is another t-shirt trend in California.  Residents of the state are fondly remembering the Governator.  Many residents of the state are now wearing T-shirts that read: “I Survived Arnold.”

HOLLYWOOD – The Arnold Vase is on sale in Santa Monica.  Inside you’ll find: three hidden children!

There is a rare vase depicted Arnold Schwarzenegger and his blushing bride, Maria Shriver.  This vase was on sale on Ebay two months ago.  It originally was being sold for $5,000.00.  Today it is worth $1 million.

It’s a special vase, a magical vase – if you will.  Inside the vase there are several surprised, placed there by Arnold himself.  You’d have to buy the vase to find out EXACTLY what is in it, but sources close to the Governator, say that the vase contains 3-4 love children.  Apparently, that’s where Arnold was hiding the children the last ten years.

Maria Shriver wanted to buy the vase and smash it into smithereens, but she didn’t even know it existed until a week ago.

The vase would be selling for even more, but rumors have it that Arnold has 5 or 6 other magic vases that contain 3-4 children each.  He’s been a busy man.

Barack Obama’s secret ex-wife has come forward with a shocking confession – the president has an illegitimate child!

The news was brought to the surface yesterday when 37-year-old Amy Holmes, a legal assistant from Chicago and former campaign manager for Obama, confessed that she and Barack Obama were once married.

Holmes first met Obama in 1988, while he was working as the director of the Developing Communities Project, a church-based NPO on Chicago’s South Side. Holmes was one of the organization’s original volunteers.

“We knew from the second we laid eyes on each other that we were in love,” said Holmes in a phone interview. “I was enamored with how tall and handsome he was. I was so nervous that I could hardly even remember my name when he introduced himself to me.”

Holmes explained that the she and Obama dated for three months, but were forced to reconsider their relationship after Obama was accepted study law at Harvard University.

“I don’t think either one of us was looking forward to a long distance relationship,” said Holmes. “The idea of being thousands of miles apart from each other scared us to death. We couldn’t stand the thought of being apart. We were afraid we would lose each other forever.”

The week before Obama moved away to Cambridge for his postgraduate studies, Holmes and Obama decided to get married. Holmes describes the marriage as “quaint and romantic.”

“We got married in a very small Baptist Church on Chicago’s South Side,” said Holmes. “We had a very private ceremony, with only our parents in attendance.”

“We couldn’t wait to say ‘I do’” recounted Holmes. “After the wedding, we were so hot for each other that we consummated the marriage in the car.”

Nine months later Holmes gave birth to a baby boy, which she named Jackie Anthony Obama.

Holmes stayed in Chicago to raise the baby while Obama worked as a legal assistant at Sidley Austin, a legal firm based in Cambridge.

As Holmes explained, it was a rocky period for the couple. Aside from a few letters and sporadic phone calls, their correspondence was practically non-existent.

Then, on July 4th, 1992, Holmes received a devastating letter in the mail. It was from her husband, Barack Obama.

“’Dear Amy,’” she said, reading the letter over the phone. “’It’s over. I’ve found someone else. Her name is Michelle and she says she can help me become a senator. I want a divorce.’”

“That’s all he wrote,” said Holmes, her voice choked with tears. “I was crushed.”

Holmes filed for divorce in August 1992, agreeing to keep her marriage to Obama a secret so as not to ruin his chance of becoming an Illinois State Senator. He and Michelle were married two months later, in October.

“Everything happened so fast,” said Holmes. “It felt like my world was unraveling at the seams. And the worst part of it was that my child would never know who his father was.”

That all changed when Holmes, a lifelong Republican, was laid off her job for not having health-care insurance.

“It got to the point that I couldn’t even feed my own child,” said Holmes. “And it was all because of my ex-husband’s stupid health-care law.”

Desperate to keep her child alive, Holmes decided to reveal her secret to the public. She called into Chicago’s public radio station, WBEZ, and announced over the air that she was President Obama’s ex-wife and mother of his 22-year-old love child.

The White House has yet to comment on the allegations. However, President Obama is expected to make an announcement concerning the issue some time next week.

And you can bet that whatever he says and wherever he says it, Weekly World News will be there to cover it!

HURUMA, KENYA – Evidence has now surfaced that while on his summer international tour, Barack Obama disappeared from Israel to attend a secret meeting in Huruma, a ramshackle town on the outskirts of Nairobi.

Though the true purpose of this meeting remains a highly guarded secret, one Kenyan source claims to have seen the presidential hopeful sharing a cigarette with what appeared to be a young man-child bearing a striking resemblance to the Democratic nominee but with larger and more pointed ears.

The Kenyan also reported that the man-child had bulging eyes.

The source was unclear if the man-child’s eyes were naturally bulged or were bulging as a result of what Obama may have told the mysterious creature.

The Weekly World News investigative team continues to probe this mystery and expects to acquire photographic evidence of this clandestine encounter within hours.