MIAMI FL – Everyone in Miami is in on the porn game and wants to be a star.

Since the beginning of the 1980s, Miami has been seen by many as a dirty, seedy, and unsafe city to inhabit. Drug trafficking reached an all time high in the late 1980s, bringing crime and gruesome violence along with it. Popular culture has depicted this debauchery in movies like Scarface and the hit 1980s TV show Miami Vice. The crime and violence soon came under control in the early 1990s, largely due to the devastation caused by hurricane Andrew.

Now Miami is seeing new kids on the block, taking the place of the once omnipresent drug cartels. Pornography is now the new cash crop in south Florida. Its popularity has grown so much at the tip of the sunshine state, that it is starting to rival the industry of its sister porn city of Los Angeles. Many Miami porn executives even argue that it has surpassed LA, claiming that to film pornography in LA is “so passé”.

Recent 2010 census surveys and tax documentation has uncovered that most everyone living in Miami is now somehow affiliated with the porn industry. School teachers, librarians, doctors, pizza delivery boys and even 7-11 attendants are involved in the industry. Don’t you always wonder how they are able to film these things in libraries, doctor’s offices and the occasional convenience store? It’s because everyone is in on it. They all want a piece of the pie.

Recently, even the Miami-Dade Park & Recreation Department got in on the action. Reality Kings, a Miami based pornography company known for their guerilla style tactics, recently filmed Island Adventures on Monument Island, home of the 110-foot obelisk honoring Florida pioneer Henry Flagler. The movie was posted to their website earlier this month and credited the posting to one “Captain Stabbin.”

Since word of this unsavory affair became public, it has given rise to an investigation to see if any laws were broken by Reality Kings during the filming. Attorneys for the company claim that no laws were broken, as no one from the public was on the island at the time of filming.

“This is not an uninhabited island miles off the coast,” Assistant City Manager Hilda Fernandez rebutted, “It’s in the middle of a very busy bay. You can’t go filming pornos in public parks.”

Currently the investigation has revealed that a junior parks official sanctioned the filming stating, “I thought that it was pretty smart to choose to film the scene in front of the obelisk, being that it is phallic and all, so creative!” Since discovery of the poor judgment call, the junior staffer has been relieved of his position. The incident is still under investigation to determine if Reality Kings will be charged with any wrong dong doing.

NEW ZEALAND – A commercially developed jetpack, The Martin, is ready for liftoff!

The first commercially developed jetpack, The Martin jetpack, is ready for mass production and will soon be released to the public.  The City of Los Angeles has already ordered 10,000 jetpacks for its police, paramedics and fire department.  “We’ll all be flying around L.A. soon,” said Mayor Antonio Villaragoisa.  “And it’s another great tool for law enforcement.”

The LAPD is in the process of hiring over 1,000 Law Enforcement Jet Pack Officers.  They have begun training them out near Joshua Tree National Park.

Jetpacks are real, and you’ll be able to buy one in two months!

The Martin Jetpack  is reusable and while it is a bit pricey, and a little bit bulky, they are worth it.  Soon you will be able to strap on your jetpack and liftoff for work.

You strap it on, you fly.   It’s that simple.  “They developed it so even the dumbest among us can use it,” said aerospace engineer, Todd Cox.  “Cars will be in the dustbin of history soon enough.”

The jetpack was developed by the Martin Aircraft Company which was founded in 1998 and operates out of New Zealand.  The Martin Aircraft Company was founded by Glenn Neal Martin, not to be confused with Glenn Luther Martin, whose “Glenn L. Martin Company” became the “Martin” in “Lockheed Martin.”   My favorite Martins!

The Martin jetpack can carry a person up to 8000 feet in the sky or the 31.5 miles distance that travelling at the maximum regulated speed of  63 mph will take you. With a full tank of gas, that would last roughly 30 minutes, although Martin Aircraft expects that to improve as the manufacturing process becomes more efficient. They are working on a second model that can take you to the moon.  That’s a few years off…

The jetpack is convenient for locations where parking might be an issue. Standing 5 feet tall by 5.5 feet wide, with a length of 5ft.  And if you use stack parking, experts predict you can put about 20 in your driveway.  Meet the Jetsons!

Many of the specs for the jetpack are regulated by FAA restrictions, including the 5 gallon fuel tank and the areas that the vehicle can legally operate. The FAA does not require that users- who will almost certainly be referred to by owners as “pilots”, or “rocketeers”- will however need to file a flight plan before ripping off into the heavens. How the police or an FAA official would be able to catch pilots that fail to file a flight plan is unknown, but odds are they would find a way.

Currently the Martin jetpack is classified as a recreational vehicle, but it is restricted to non-urban airspaces for individuals – at the moment.  Laws will have to be changed and amended to deal with the onslaught of jetpacks and rocketeers.

The price at the moment is $100,000, but the company hopes to bring the cost down dramatically in the near future.

Do you hate traffic?  Do you want to fly?

Then strap it on, baby!

Several UFOs were spotted over Los Angeles last night.

UFOs were flying in the skies over LA  last night.  The U.N. sent there UFO chasers to Los Angeles to follow them and identify them.

“They’re from Zeeba.  Absolutely.  Wer’e positive,” said  UFO chaser,  Dante D’Alessandro, who has been following UFOs since the late 1980.

“The shape, size, duration of flight over the city.  The Zeebans are known to hover over major U.S. cities, take their data readings and then leave… peacefully,” said D’Alessandro.

Dr. Susan Begley of the United Nations confirmed that the UFOs were from Planet Zeeba. She told WWN that the UFOs sighting have been increasing since the beginning of2012 and they will continue to increase because the alien invasion – from Planets Zeeba and Gootan – is underway.

“The United Nations is following the movements of these aliens closely,” said Dr. Begley.

Several celebrities saw the UFOs including Brad Pitt and George Clooney who had just eaten at Spago in Beverly Hills.  ”I always thought UFOs were b.s., but I saw it with my own eyes.  They are real.  And they’re cool,” said Clooney.

Check out one the many videos of the UFO from last night:

LOS ANGELES – Tiger Woods has finally won another golf tournament.  He’s the best mall putter in the world!

Tiger Woods absolutely demolished the competition when putting at the Hollywood & Highland Mall in Los Angeles.  He wasn’t playing against ranked PGA players, but some of them had putted before, so Tiger really showed everyone that he’s still a champ.

It was a one-hole putting course, but Woods handled it like a real pro.  Here he is approaching the green:

Woods had not putted at a shopping mall since he was five years old, so he was a little nervous.   “He seemed a little shaky,” said Tyler Bok (17)who also played with Woods, but then he settled down and really showed everyone at the mall what he is made of.”

After the putting tournament Woods met with the press to discuss the field for the Chevron World Challenge golf tournament – which will be held at the Mall of America.

“Some people may make light of mall putting, but it’s much harder than the Masters or the U.S. Open.  This was the toughest hole I’ve ever had to putt,” Woods told the press.

Woods says that he may go to China and Japan and play malls over there.  He’s also looking into putting at Wal-Marts and K-Marts around the country.  “I think the level of competition and this malls is equal to what I faced on the PGA tour, so I’m excited about this new direction in my career.”

WWN will be following Woods to every mall competition.

NEW YORK – Sources say tapes released reveal that Jackie Kennedy believed Lyndon Johnson was also the  mastermind behind RFK’s assassination.

Tapes recorded by the First Lady months after the President’s death are to be released ahead of schedule by her daughter Caroline.

In the tapes, to be broadcast by ABC, Kennedy reveals her belief that Johnson and a cabal of Texas tycoons orchestrated the murder of her husband by gunman Lee Harvey Oswald AND, sources close to an insider at ABC said that the tapes also reveal that Jackie believed Johnson also orchestrated the murder of Bobby Kennedy.

Kennedy, who later became Jackie Onassis, claims on the tapes that the Los Angeles murder was part of a larger conspiracy by Johnson to keep Robert Kennedy from becoming President.

President Johnson reportedly never liked Bobby and didn’t want him to become the Democratic nominee for President.  Johnson was jealous because Bobby was younger and much better looking than he was.

Robert Kennedy, the brother of John F. Kennedy, was assassinated  shortly after midnight on June 5, 1968,. After winning the California primary election   for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States, Kennedy was shot as he walked through the kitchen of the Ambassador Hotel and died twenty-six hours later.

Sirhan Sirhan, 24-year-old Palestinian immigrant, was convicted of Kennedy’s murder and is serving a life sentence for the crime. The shooting was recorded on audio tape by a freelance newspaper reporter, and the aftermath was captured on film.

But rumors by insiders who have sources close to people who know about the tapes, say that Jackie Kennedy reveals, on tape, that President Johnson had met with Sirhan Sirhan three weeks prior in the White House.  Sirhan Sirhan was taking a White House tour, when Johnson complimented him on his shoes.

ABC executives have confirmed that the revelations in the tapes are ‘explosive’ with Jackie Kennedy allegedly blaming President Lyndon Johnson for the death of JFK.   The tapes were made in 1964, 1968 and 1970.  ABC executives have not confirmed that Jackie says that Lyndon Johnson had anything to do with Bobby’s death, but unreliable sources close to ABC say that this is definitely a second bombshell on the tapes.

Some sources close to tapes recorded by Dick Cavett stored in a vault in Bayonne, say that Lyndon Johnson was also responsible for the death of Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.  “He was a wild Texan,” the Bayonne insider said.

LOS ANGELES – Upcoming freeway construction may cause the end of the world for L.A. residents.

Authorities will close Interstate 405 in July for road work. They issued a dire warning a full month ahead of time because of the traffic nightmare it will cause on one of the nation’s busiest freeways.

“This may well turn into carmageddon,” county Supervisor Jake Yarboy said at a news conference. “The best alternative route is to totally avoid the 405 area, completely avoid it, don’t come anywhere near it, don’t even think about coming to it. Stay the heck out of here.”

“The other choice, which is what we recommend,  is to move out of California!” said Yarboy.

Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa inadvertently made a point about the congestion, showing up a half-hour late because, you guessed it, there was heavy traffic on the freeway.

“If you think it’s bad now, let me just make something absolutely clear:  In July, it will be your worst nightmare come true,” Villaraigosa said in a parking lot overlooking the freeway, where morning traffic sounded like a rushing river.  “We are expecting hundreds of people to be stuck in their cars for at least a month, if not a year or longer.”

The mayor and other officials urged drivers to avoid the freeway and to do the unthinkable — spend the summer in another state, or move out entirely.

“This is a long term project.  Come back in 2013, when we have all the roads fixed,” said Villaraigosa.

A 170-mile stretch of the freeway will be closed for 253 days.

The work is part of a $15 billion project to add carpool lanes and make other improvements.

On a typical day, about 5,000,000 vehicles use the freeway to get to major destinations such as the airport, beaches and interchanges to other major highways.

Officials are trying to get the word out well in advance of the shutdown, starting with electronic warning signs throughout California freeways and updates on social networking websites.

The Getty Center and Skirball Cultural Center, two popular institutions along the pass that attract thousands of visitors on weekends, will close indefinitely. Airport officials were coordinating with airlines and car rental companies so they can help the roughly 170,000 passengers expected to pass through LAX plan their ground transportation.

Officials said they do not expect many motorists to heed the warning and this will cause… Carmaggedon!

Again, the best solution:  move out of Los Angeles.   Make your movie in Detroit.

LOS ANGELES  - Drug users across Los Angeles have encountered some bad  cocaine that is eating away their flesh.

In a case study in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, Craft describes over seventy cocaine users recently plagued by the dark purple patches of dying flesh. And while they happened to hail from the country’s coastlines – especially in Los Angeles –  the problem is national.

As if cocaine wasn’t dangerous enough.  Check it out:

 The DEA recently reported that 82 percent of the cocaine it seizes is cut with the veterinary drug.  While cheaper cocaine can be close to 90 percent filler, it’s often notably filled with harmless baking soda. Exactly why the veterinary drug has begun to be popular remains a subject of debate.

But drug cartels in South America increasingly prefer to use levamisole, a veterinary antibiotic normally used to deworm cattle, sheep, and pigs. It’s not clear why dealers don’t just use baking soda all the time, although studies in rats suggest that levamisole might tingle brain receptors in the same way cocaine does. If that’s the case, adding it to the supply might be a way to enhance the effects of cocaine on the cheap.

Apparently not everyone has the same reaction to the drug and  the effects do disappear from some of the affected once the drug leaves the body, but bad scars will remain with the user forever.

 

The Los Angeles Dodgers filed for bankruptcy today – and the NY Yankees quickly bought the team.

According to a release issued by the team on Monday morning, the Dodgers filed for bankruptcy.  Hal Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees, immediately announced that the New York Yankees would purchase the ballclub.

“The Yankees organization always wanted to have a west coast presence – and now we have it,” said Hal Steinbrenner.  The Los Angeles Dodgers will be known as the Los Angeles Yankees starting in 2012.

Hal Steinbrenner is happy with his decision.

“It’s an unconventional decision to say the least,” say longtime Yankeees sportscaster, Michael Kay, “but the Yankees want to expand their brand and to have a team in the American League and one in the National League is fantastic.”

Steinbrenner is dreaming of a Yankees-Yankees World Series.

New Yorkers were quick to react.  “I feel good about it,” said Sal Provenza of the Bronx. “The Dodgers stabbed Brooklyn and New York in the back when they left over 50 years ago. Now, we got them back – in a way.”

“Yankees will have complete world domination now,” said Bronx native Wanda Easter.  “East Coast, West Coast – it’s all Yankees!”

Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig immediately approved of the Yankee purchase.  He has had a contentious relationship with Dodger owner Frank McCourt and this really “put it in McCourt’s face,” an MLB spokesman said.

”There will be no disruption to the Dodgers day-to-day business, the baseball team, or to the Dodger fans,” said Selig.  “But at the start of the 2012 season, the Dodgers will now be the Los Angeles Yankees.

Brian Cash, the Yankees General Manager, said that at the end of the season, the Yankees would be sending Derek Jeter to the West Coast.  “Derek is excited.  He wants to be near Hollywood with his girlfriend, Minka Kelly, and he can really build a strong fan base in Los Angeles quickly.”

A-Rod has already requested a transfer to the Los Angeles Yankees as well.

The Yankees are setting up shop on the West Coast… Play Ball!!

LOS ANGELES -  Researchers have concluded that pollution in Southern California causes brain damage.

It is well known that pollution harm our lungs, but groundbreaking research from the University of Southern California has proven that the traffic-polluted freeways in Los Angeles cause brain damage.

Researchers looked at the smallest of particles that are not visible to the naked eye. Air samples were taken from the 110 Freeway near USC and exposed to mice over a 10 week exposure period, over about 150 hours. The results showed severe brain damage — keeping neurons from developing — which eventually lead to memory loss, early onset dementia, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and addictive personality disorder.

“With further research, we are hoping that we can  figure out ways to lower the effect of these particulates, other than just staying away from traffic because that’s really doable in Los Angeles,” says Tyler Williams, a lead researcher at USC.

WWN interviewed over a hundred Angelenos to get their reaction to the study. The typical response was  – “taco?”

The California Department of Motor Vehicles is alarmed by the research and is considering having drivers take a brain scan when they apply for their Driver’s License.  “We can’t have people with brain damage driving on the road of Los Angeles.  It’s not safe to those few people that are not brain damaged,” said DMV spokesperson, Wanda Jenkins.

It’s already too late for a couple of LA drivers.  These two have been diagnosed with addictive personality disorder, delusion of grandeur disorder, and “Winning” disorder.

Oscar winning actress Elizabeth Taylor died today at Los Angeles’ Cedars-Sinai Hospital. She was 79.

“She was surrounded by her children: Michael Wilding, Christopher Wilding, Liza Todd, and Maria Burton,” Taylor’s publicist, Sally Morrison, said in a statement.

In the same statement, Michael Wilding, 58, memorialized his mother:

“My Mother was an extraordinary woman who lived life to the fullest, with great passion, humor, and love,” he said. “Though her loss is devastating to those of us who held her so close and so dear, we will always be inspired by her enduring contribution to our world. Her remarkable body of work in film, her ongoing success as a businesswoman, and her brave and relentless advocacy in the fight against HIV/AIDS, all make us all incredibly proud of what she accomplished. We know, quite simply, that the world is a better place for Mom having lived in it. Her legacy will never fade, her spirit will always be with us, and her love will live forever in our hearts.”

In addition to her children, Taylor is survived by 10 grandchildren and four great grandchildren. Morrison said that a private family funeral will be held later this week. In lieu of flowers, the family asked that contributions be made to the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation and said that those wanting to send personal messages can log on to Taylor’s official Facebook page.

Taylor, a two-time Academy Award-winning actress who became notorious for her seven marriages and sometimes eccentric behavior, had reported health problems in recent years and appeared frail in public appearances. Six weeks ago, she was hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Though she had recently suffered a number of complications, her condition had stabilized and it was hoped that she would be able to return home.

Taylor reported in October 2009 that she was having a heart procedure done. Via Twitter, she said it was “very new and involves repairing my leaky valve using a clip device, without open heart surgery so that my heart will function better.”

The actress’ past health setbacks included a fall from a horse during one of her early film shoots, bouts with pneumonia and skin cancer, a tracheotomy, treatment for alcohol and painkiller addictions, and lung, hip, brain and heart surgeries. She has had anywhere from 30 to 40 surgeries, according to biographers.

She’s iconic for being one of the most popular actresses of Hollywood’s golden age. Born in London in 1932 to American parents who returned to the U.S. with World War II looming, Taylor bounded into the spotlight at age 12 after starring in the 1944 box office sensation “National Velvet.” She won acclaim as an adult with 1951′s “A Place In The Sun” and went on to score best actress Oscar nominations for “Raintree County,” “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” and “Suddenly, Last Summer.”

In 1963, she memorably starred in “Cleopatra.” She later won Oscars for “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and “BUtterfield 8.”

Beyond acting, Taylor is credited with bringing the world’s attention to AIDS with her fund-raising and activism. In 1985, when Taylor’s lifelong friend Rock Hudson died of AIDS, she brought national attention to the growing disease. It was satisfying to her to use her celebrity for good. She raised and donated millions to the cause, founding the American Foundation for AIDS Research (amfAR) and The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation.

“I don’t think President Bush is doing anything at all about AIDS. In fact, I’m not sure he even knows how to spell AIDS,” Taylor said once, frustrated with President Bush’s efforts to address the crisis.
She cultivated friendships with men who stayed away from the public’s gaze and met a tragic end. In addition to Hudson, she kept actor Montgomery Clift as a confidant and was fiercely loyal to pop icon Michael Jackson when he was accused of child molestation. Taylor served as a godmother to two of Jackson’s children, Paris Jackson and Prince Michael.

She was also an entrepreneur, spearheading a successful line of perfume and multiple jewelry lines. In 1999, Taylor was appointed Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire.
Taylor’s last major interview appeared in the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar. In it, she dished to reality TV star Kim Kardashian about her love life, her iconic roles and her jewels.

“I never planned to acquire a lot of jewels or a lot of husbands,” Taylor said. “I have been supremely lucky in my life in that I have known great love, and of course, I am the temporary custodian of some incredible and beautiful things.”

Taylor also mused about one of her former husbands, actor Richard Burton.

“It was inevitable that we would be married again, but it’s not up for discussion,” she said.

Here’s one video tribute: