LOS ANGELES – The judge threw the book at Lindsay Lohan today, sentencing her to life in prison.

Lilo has violated her probation and been an overall “pain-in-the-ass” to prosecutors and judges in Los Angeles County.  Today, Judge Susan Begley literally stood up and threw a book containing all the Lohan trial transcripts – right at the star.  Lohan ducked, but still got conked in the head.  She only suffered minor bruises. Some witnesses say some of the “blonde” got knocked out of her.

Due to overcrowding in L.A. jails, however, Lohan will probably only spend four weeks behind bars.

Lohan has been living at the L.A. County Morgue for the also two weeks – she was sentenced two weeks ago after calling the Downtown Women’s Center “boring” and “dull.

Lohan told the court that she has changed her life and will be a model citizen from now on.   In proof of that, Lohan showed the judge her photoshoot from Playboy magazine that she completed a week ago.  The judge was not impressed with Lohan’s photos but the bailiff liked them very  much and took them to the judge’s chambers to study them further.

Lohan’s lawyer’s said that Lindsay will appeal the judge’s decision, even though she admitted that she violated probation.

Lohan has already received a book deal from an anonymous publisher for over $3 million dollars.  So, Lindsay feels that her life is looking up.

In fact, this will be the best year Lohan has had financially – ever.

Crime doesn’t pay?

HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan posed for her photo spread in Playboy and reportedly was paid $2.5 million.

Sources tell WWN that Lohan needs the cash.  Her legal costs and her lack of acting gigs have brought her to the brink of bankruptcy.

Hugh Hefner has come in to same Lindsay’s financial life.  He has paid her to pose for a ten page spread in his magazine.  The photo shoot took place right before Lindsay appeared in court on her probation hearing.

s loves posting semi-nude pictures of herself on Twitter:

Playboy photographer, Fritz Barnkopf, said that Lindsay was an excellent model.  ”All her pictures are completely nude and I think Playboy readers will be very pleased at the way she opened herself up for the camera.”

Lindsay was recently sentenced to the morgue in L.A. County, and she wanted to have some nude shots taken in the morgue but L.A. County officials would not allow Playboy to take pictures in the morgue.

Playboy executives said that Lindsay was very professional on the set of the photo shoot.  ”She showed up on time, had no problem taking off her clothes and pretending that she was making love to the camera.”

Lohan has tried to pose naked in mainstream publications, but now she can really “let loose” according to sources close to Lilo.

Rumors that Lindsay is seen in the shots with both men and women are false – though Playboy execs say they might be true.

Hugh Hefner reportedly asked Lohan to move into the Playboy mansion, and some say he asked her to marry him, but Lohan refused.

The Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy will be published in March, 2012.

LOS ANGELES  -  At her probation hearing today, Lindsay Lohan was ordered to be held in a morgue for ninety days.

The Los Angeles District Court Judge, who has been frustrated with Lindsay Lohan’s behavior, has revoked her probation and sentenced her to live in a morgue for ninety days.  She will spend her time living among the dead bodies and cleaning up after them – if they happen to make a mess.

Sources connected with the Probation Department told WWN that Judge Sandy Meyers contacted probation officials and told them to immediately yank Lindsay from her current community service assignment with the Red Cross and incarcerate her in the Los Angeles County Morgue.  “I want her put in slot #27 and held there for ninety days.”

Lohan will be kept locked in a body slot, but will be allowed to walk around the morgue for eight hours a day – IF she cleans up the blood and guts.

Lohan was immediately taken away in handcuffs and shoved into slot #27 at the Los Angeles County Morgue.

Lohan had been performing her community service at the Downtown Women’s Center, but had complained that she was “bored” and “not fulfilled” and the women there were “uncool,” “ugly” and “smelled bad.”

Lindsay has NOT violated her probation, but prosecutors feel that she has a “bad attitude” that can be “corrected” by locking her up in the morgue.

Lohan told WWN that doesn’t mind sleeping among dead bodies, “I used to living with the dead, half my friends are zombies.”

Here she is admiring her temporary new home:

Already, fans are trying to see if they can get slots on either side of Lohan at the morgue.

HOLLYWOOD -  Sorry Charlie, but the 2011 Angels are done. BUT ABC signed three new Angels:  Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Knox and Casey Anthony.

ABC has shut down production on its reboot of Charlie’s Angels effective immediately, in the wake of a full month of meager ratings.  They have fired their three stars:  Minka Kelly, Rachael Taylor and Annie Ilonzeh.

ABC made a stunning announcement that they have already found three new Angels.  Casey Anthony, Amanda Knox and Lindsay Lohan have all agreed to star in the reboot of the reboot of Charlie’s Angels.

Already-produced Angels episodes will continue to air in the Thursdays-at-8 slot, at least up to until Anthony, Lohan and Knox can get up to speed with the show.

In its Sept. 22 premiere, Charlie’s Angels attracted 8.7 million viewers and a 2.1 rating in the advertiser-coveted adults 18-49 demographic against competition including the second night of Fox’s X Factor premiere. As the season progressed, the hourlong drama failed to match its debut ratings, sinking each week.

ABC executives are confident  that they have the right stars to catapult the show into the top ten every week.   “We have three “powerhouse” stars and expect the show to attract north of 10 million viewers a week,” said ABC executive Allegra Staples.

Knox and Anthony have never acted before (not professionally), but they both are used to cameras and feel confident that they can capture their respective characters.  “I always wanted to be a crime fighter,” said Casey Anthony.  “I’m still looking for the person that killed Caylee and I know one day, I will be successful.”

Amanda Knox’s character on the show will speak English and Italian.  “Italian is almost my first language now, so I think it will add a great dimension to my character and the show.”

Lohan says that she plans to stay sober for the run of the show, “at least for the first two episodes, maybe.”

The new, NEW Charlie’s Angels will debut on Thanksgiving.

BOSTON – The Patriots have signed their 2011 Cheerleading Team.  Doug Flutie’s daughter is a rookie on the team.

The Patriots will introduce the members of the Patriots 2011 Cheerleading Team at an event tomorrow at the CBS Scene at Patriot Place in Foxborough at 7 p.m.

The Patriots want to break the mold with this year’s squad.  “We’re not sure if our football team will make it to the Super Bowl, but we’re positive that our cheerleading team will make it, ” said Cheerleading Team Coach, Karen Engeman.

Alexa Flutie is a big name addition to the squad.  She is the daughter of  Heisman Trophy Winner and rock drummer, Doug Flutie.

Doug was a star QB, Heisman Trophy Winner, plays drums in a band (The Flutie Brothers) and catches foul balls at Fenway.  He also is a black belt in Kung Fu, wrestles alligators and there are rumors that he was involved with the Navy Seals operation that killed Bin Laden.

The Flutie Family:

The Patriots Cheerleaders also signed Lindsay Lohan and Casey Anthony.  “We wanted to get more publicity for our team and we think Casey and Lindsay will add a lot of excitement,” said Engeman.  “They’re also damn good cheerleaders.  Lindsay can really kick.”

The Patriot cheerleaders also had a lockout until the end of June.  They negotiated for higher salaries, bonuses, but gave in to a salary cap.

Veteran New England Patriot Cheerleaders will earn $500,000 a year, while rookies will earn between $200-300,000 depending on the number of tumbles and cartwheels they perform.

The members of the 2011 New England Patriot Cheerleading Team are:
Jessica Aiello, Waltham
Casey Anthony, Orange, FL
Ashley Baldwin, Andover
Asia Barnes, Braintree
Sue Begley, Newton, MA
Sara Caldeira, Taunton
Alexa Flutie, Natick
Kelsey Fournier, Pawtucket, RI
Patricia Fox, Westford
Cassie Go, Oakdale, Conn
Kathryn Hamilton Dalton
Brianna Kounelas, Bedford, NH
Lindsay Lohan, Los Angeles, CA

HOLLYWOOD -  Lindsay Lohan tweeted Chris Brown asking to meet.  They did. And now they’re a couple.

The other day Lindsay Lohan tweeted to Chris Brown: “@chrisbrown wanna meet?”  It happened right after LiLo tweeted “@ChrisBrown killed it” after his VMA performance.

Chris Brown retweeted Lindsay’s tweets… and they met and according to sources close to both start – they had a wild couple of nights.

“Chris is in love.  If you asked him who’d he fall in love with a few weeks ago, he would never have come up with Lindsay, but he’s fallen hard for her.  Real hard,” said Brown’s manager.

Lindsay Lohan recently dropped her last name, so she’s officially just – Lindsay.  Chris Brown is still Chris Brown.  But their publicists said to call them”Chris and Lindsay” when writing about them as a couple.  Lindsay wanted it to be “Lindsay and Chris” but Brown didn’t like that.

Several friends close to Lindsay asked her if she were afraid that Brown’s anger might rear it’s head again.  Lohan reportedly said, “I hope so.  I love an aggressive man.

Lindsay might not be happy with rumors that Chris still wants to be with Rihanna.  Especially because this picture was taken of Chris and Rihanna just a few weeks ago.

But, WWN wishes “Chris and Lindsay” well.   We’re sure they’ll be having a baby together soon.

Here’s a song Lindsay loves:

TRIPOLI, Libya — Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi is hoping a love connection with Jennifer Aniston, or some other Hollywood beauty, will salvage his world image.

Qaddafi just finished reading Jennifer Egan’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, A Visit from the Goon Squad, and was particularly inspired by a section of the book wherein a dictator “dates” an American actress to lift his public perception.

 A source in Tripoli confirms the dictator has a list of potential girlfriends for his post-rule image. “Aniston is at the top, for sure. But there are others. Lohan, obviously. Cameron Diaz. Tara Reid is out, but Jada Pinkett Smith is a possibility now. He’s open to suggestion. He just wants a known name and a highly recognizable face.”

 His handlers have been in touch with several Hollywood agents and rumors are circulating that he will pay upwards of $1 million for several days with the right woman.

Since he left the Bab al-Aziziya compound, Qaddafi has been trying to arrange a covert Caribbean rendezvous. He plans to stage some photo shoots on the beach, on a dance floor and at a restaurant with a sunset and palm tree in the background. A snorkeling trip may also be option if proper nautical security can be established.

WASHINGTON, DC – Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries tied the knot tonight at The White House!

Kim Kardashian tied the knot with New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries on Saturday evening at the White House.  Her rep confirmed the nuptials to WWN.

The couple, who became engaged in may after dating six months, were going to wed at a private estate in Montecito, Calif., in front of 440 guests.   But Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are big fans of  the Kardashians and since they are away at Martha’s Vineyard allowed the Kardashians to use the East Room of the White House for the wedding.

Here’s Kim in the White House three hours before the ceremony:

Barack Obama sent Air Force One and Air Force Two to California to carry all the guests to the White House.
Guests at the wedding included:  Demi Lovato, Babyface, Vera Wang, Mario Lopez, Mark Ballas, La La Vazquez and Carmelo Anthony, Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz, Ryan Seacrest and Julianna Hough, Alan Thicke, Cheryl Burke, Melanie Brown, Maria Menounos, Sugar Ray Leonard, Venus and Serena Williams, Kathy Lee Gifford, Brit Gastineau, Greta Van Sustren, Jillian Barberie, Brody Jenner and Avril LaVigne Scottie and Larsa Pippen, and Dina, Ali, Lindsay Lohan and WWN’s own Frank Lake accompanied by Bat Boy!

As stepfather Bruce Jenner walked her down the aisle, Kardashian, 30, donned an ivory custom-designed Vera Wang gown with full tulle skirt, basque waist and hand-pieced Chantilly lace appliqué on the bodice and train. She wore Guiseppe Zanotti shoes.

Guests partied the night away include while Justin Bieber – “jammed out the jam.”   The bash was filmed by E! while Kim also has a $1 million magazine deal.

Khloe Kardashian made the White House wedding happen:

There will be no honeymoon — but President Obama has invited them to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom until they return from Martha’s Vineyard.  In exchange, Barack Obama will be on next seasons’ Keeping Up With The Kardashians.   The President “loves” the show:

The couple will make their first home together in the penthouse suite at the Gansevoort Park Avenue. They were showered with gifts from their wedding registry at Gearys Beverly Hills. As of last night, $366,138 worth of gifts had been purchased, including a $9,625 Ingrid black vase, a $4,100 Soudan black ashtray, both by Lalique, and a $7,750 sugar bowl.

President Obama and Michelle Obama have invited Kim and Kris  to Hawaii in December – the first couple’s next vacation.

LOS ANGELES -  Lindsay Lohan wore a Glavis White Dress to court yesterday and now female defendants across the country are wearing the dress to court!

Lindsay Lohan’s skintight white minidress that she wore yesterdqay to answer grand theft charges has sold out online, a rep for its designer, Kimberly Ovitz, told WWN.

Even though the $575 Glavis dress raised the eyebrows of veteran Lohan watchers and the tabloids for looking more club sexy than courtroom serious, the clingy number disappeared from the shelves of every virtual retailer who sold it within hours of her appearance in a Los Angeles courtroom.

WWN has learned that the primary buyers of the dress are female defendants trying to “impress” judges across the country.  Here’s Gina Manobianco from Bayonne, NJ.  She’s up on burglary and assault charges:

Here’s Luwanda Jackson of Baton Rogue.  She’s on trial for beating her husband with a stiletto:

Here’s Cynthia Maxwell of Sante Fe, New Mexico.  She’s up on drug charges:

And here’s Megan Fox.  She’s just supporting her good friend Lindsay Lohan:

Lohan, 24, was there to answer grand theft charges filed after the shoe and legging designer allegedly walked out of a Venice, Calif., boutique on Jan. 25 with a one-of-a-kind $2,500 necklace.

Lohan strutted into court looking more catwalk than perp walk wearing the embossed dress, black pumps and $312 Chanel 5182 sunglasses, her freshly coiffed hair neatly pulled back.

A Kimberly Ovitz representative told ABC there may be a few scattered Glavis dresses left in various boutiques throughout the United States that carry her line.

Female defendants are all entering “not guilty” pleas in their tight white dresses.  The judges don’t seem to mind and are much more sympathetic to the defendants.

The tight white dress – always a winner!

HOLLYWOOD – Charlie Sheen announced today that when he gets out of rehab he will be adopting seven porn stars and living with them in a new home.

Sources inside Charlie Sheen’s rehab clinic have told WWN that the actor has completed purchase of a new home in the North Hollywood.  Sheen plans on moving into the house in July with six XXX porn stars.

Sheen’s publicist,  Susan Begley, told the press that Sheen wanted to start a “porn family” — and had targeted six porn stars to move in with him.  Many thought that Sheen was joking about this “family” arrangement, but in the last few days Sheen has moved forward with is plans.

Capri Anderson, the porn star who went on a bender with Sheen back in October at the Plaza Hotel in New York, has already agreed to move into Sheen House.

The announcement of Sheen’s new “family” life came on the same day that his divorce to Brooke Mueller has been finalized.  The couple will get  joint custody of 1-year-old twins Bob and Max with Mueller scoring primary physical custody.

Sheen and Mueller parted ways for good on Christmas Day, ’09, when he was arrested in Aspen on domestic violence charges. They married in May 2008, and she is his third wife.

Sheen had the idea of the family after watching the HBO series, Big Love.  “Charlie liked the idea of living in a house with six women on making him happy.  He just doesn’t want any children in the house.  He thinks it will be a good arrangement and he wants to work hard to provide for his new family,” said Begley.

Rumors are that there is a seventh woman who wants to move into the house with Sheen, but she’s not sure the judge will let her:

Sheen is expected to return to “Two and Half Men”, and his $1.25 million an episode salary, next month.