LOS ANGELES – The judge threw the book at Lindsay Lohan today, sentencing her to life in prison.

HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan posed for her photo spread in Playboy and reportedly was paid $2.5 million.

LOS ANGELES – At her probation hearing today, Lindsay Lohan was order to live in a morgue for ninety days.

HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan tweeted Chris Brown asking to hook-up. They did. And now they’re a couple.

HOLLYWOOD – Pictures have surfaced of Lindsay Lohan injecting herself with a syringe!

NEW YORK, NY – The big guns have been called in to help Lindsay Lohan!

LOS ANGELES – Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel was so disgusted with Lindsay Lohan’s that after sentencing her to 90 days, the Judge threw tarballs at her.