CRAWFORD, TX – George W. Bush shocked his family, friends and the nation by announcing today that he is gay.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Former First Lady Laura Bush was on The Jay Leno Show last night, and confessed her secret love!

WASHINGTON, DC – NBC has hired Jenna Bush to be a correspondent on the “Today” show.

NEW YORK, NY – The View’s resident Republican was snubbed by the White House, and she isn’t going down without a fight!

WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain.