CHICAGO – President Obama spent his birthday alone, with Michael Jackson. They recorded a Christmas album.

President Barack Obama turned 49 on Wednesday. First lady Michelle Obama has taken their youngest daughter, Sasha, to Spain. Their other daughter, Malia, is away at summer camp.

Rumors were that Obama wanted to spend the night in his house in Hyde Park alone, but WWN learned the truth.  President Obama is at Chess Recording Studios on the South Side of Chicago.  Michael Jackson, who was summoned from the afterlife by President Obama was seen at the studio.   Obama, who can “part the waters and heal the earth”, can also make Michael Jackson return from the afterlife.

Obama has always wanted to be a singer.  Michael Jackson, James Brown and Joni Mitchell are his favorite artists.  Joni couldn’t make it to the studio because she was too busy listening to NPR.  James Brown didn’t answer Obama’s “call to heaven.”  But Brown did send a message, “I feel good.”

Obama wanted to record a Christmas record, but felt that was “divisive,” so instead he decided to do a Holiday record with songs of Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, Diwali and Festivus. But Obama was taking far too long to select the songs for the record.  He couldn’t make up his mind.  An impatient MJ suggested that they just sing some of his hits and a couple of rearranged rap tunes.  Obama agreed with The Ghost of The Gloved One.

Here’s a list of the tracks being recorded today for Obama”s record currently entitled, BLACK AND WHITE.

1) MAN IN THE MIRROR  (dedicated to Barry Obama)

2) BEAT IT (dedicated to the Tea Party)

4) DANGEROUS (dedicated to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad)

5) WE ARE THE WORLD (dedicated to all Americans)

6) PRETTY YOUNG THING (dedicated to Beyonce)

7) BEN (dedicated to Ben Bernanke)

8) I WANT YOU BACK (dedicated to independents)

9) IT”S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP (dedicated to Netroots Nation)

10) GET ON THE FLOOR (dedicated to Glenn Beck)

11) RUBBERBAND MAN (dedicated to Joe Biden)

12) FIGHT THE POWER (dedicated to Barry Obama) and..

Obama wrote an  original rap song special for his birthday and those nuts (the Birthers)…  I WAS BORN IN HAWAII, FOOLS!

Obama will be in the studio all day, if you have any song suggestions/requests, WWN will forward them to him immediately.

Here’s a sample of Obama singing some Jackie Wilson:

Here he’s singing some Dionne Warwick:

And here he is singing Happy Birthday (to Ted Kennedy):

UPDATE – Obatma is spending the first day of Kwanzaa with the Obama family!

Obatma, Obama’s half-bat half-brother, arrived yesterday in Honolulu to spend time with his newfound family. He was wearing a scarf bearing the pan-African colors of red, black and green, and carrying one of the Kwanzaa candles.

President-Elect Barack Obama briefly spoke to a small group of journalists a few blocks from his home, stating, “While our main celebration is Christmas, we were more than happy to join my brother in honoring his first Kwanzaa in these United States.”

When asked if there were any hiccups, Obama laughed and explained, “While our girls aren’t allowed to play with matches, Obatma was too excited about lighting the kinara for us to deny him. If I can admit I was wrong about the surge, I can admit that that was not our smartest decision. He was so nervous he dropped the candle and set the tablecloth on fire.”

Through tears and sign language, Obatma promised to use his allowance money to buy a new tablecloth.

December 25, 2008

HONOLULU, HI – Obatma has arrived in Hawaii to spend the holiday season with his new American family.

Although the Secret Service has clamped down on President-Elect Barack Obama’s holiday home, Obama was photographed yesterday spending time with Bat Boy.

Now a new picture has been released by a photographer who caught this heart-warming moment of Obatma arriving at the home. As the newly discovered half-bat half-brother of Barack, Obatma was invited to spend the holidays with the family.

It appears that the mutant has acclimated quickly to American culture, and decided to celebrate the African heritage holiday of Kwanzaa!

Check back tomorrow as Weekly World News works tirelessly to bring you updates.

No matter if you’re human, mutant or alien, we here at Weekly World News want to wish you happy holidays!

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