I’m madder than a Polak with a burned out lightbulb!

CHICAGO, IL – Obatma was wrongly arrested this morning for conspiring to sell Barack Obama’s vacant Senate seat.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Obatma appeared on Larry King Live last night to “tell” his life story.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Towering, 9-foot basketball player Koyati has no trouble keeping one eye on the ball – the Maasai hoop star is a real-life Cyclops!

At a shocking press conference this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama announced that he has a half-man half-bat half-brother.

WASILLA, AK – Representatives from the McCain Campaign have confirmed that Vice Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, will spend the Columbus Day holiday on a witch hunt.

HURUMA, KENYA – Evidence has now surfaced that while on his summer international tour, Barack Obama disappeared from Israel to attend a secret meeting in Huruma, a ramshackle town on the outskirts of Nairobi.