After years of digging by the world’s top private investigators, they have determined conclusively where Barack Obama was born: Mars!

NEW YORK – Donald Trump’s birth certificate is a fake. He was actually born in Kenya!

DALLAS – A rare pink hippo, spotted on a farm outside Dallas, was soon shot dead by a local rancher.

WASHINGTON D.C. – According to a new poll a majority of the GOP thinks that President Obama is a racist, socialist, and non-US citizen. Their other beliefs will shock you!

I’m madder than a Polak with a burned out lightbulb!

CHICAGO, IL – Obatma was wrongly arrested this morning for conspiring to sell Barack Obama’s vacant Senate seat.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Obatma appeared on Larry King Live last night to “tell” his life story.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Towering, 9-foot basketball player Koyati has no trouble keeping one eye on the ball – the Maasai hoop star is a real-life Cyclops!

At a shocking press conference this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama announced that he has a half-man half-bat half-brother.

WASILLA, AK – Representatives from the McCain Campaign have confirmed that Vice Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, will spend the Columbus Day holiday on a witch hunt.