NEW YORK, NY – Betty White is like wine and gets better with age, well so to speak. She’s set to host Saturday Night Live!

Betty White vaulted back into the spotlight with her cameo in a Snickers commercial that launched during the Super Bowl. In it, a bunch of guys are playing football in the park and Betty White assumes the role of a guy that just doesn’t have it. The point of the commercial was that you’re not yourself when you’re hungry.

Well White has parlayed that commercial into hosting Saturday Night Live. Better yet, fans of White have used that commercial to get her on the show. The 88-year-old actress will host SNL on May 8th, Mother’s Day weekend.

“I can’t think of a better way to spend Mother’s Day weekend than with Betty White,” Lorne Michaels, creator and executive producer of SNL said.

The news of her hosting on Mother’s Day is somewhat ironic as speculation has began to arise that Betty White is actually pregnant. The news hasn’t been confirmed but Weekly World News first broke the news of her tryst with the Jonas brothers. If any more news comes about on the matter, WWN will be sure to report it first. Until then, we can only wait for what is sure to be a memorable SNL.

http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/15755/betty-white-sex-scandal/

Due to publicity from her recent Super Bowl ad, details have come to light of Betty White’s checkered past.  Most notable among this is photographic evidence of Betty White having sex with all three Jonas brothers, at the same time.

Anonymous sources leaked photos of the affair to the news media early Monday morning.  Presumably the pictures were taken after White won her lifetime achievement award from the Screen Actors Guild.  The Jonas Brothers have yet to officially respond to the allegations which could ruin their contract with Disney.

As for Betty White, she has a well recorded and storied past.  This wasn’t even her first time being filmed with a famous movie trio.  Her long standing affair with the Marx Brothers has been well documented.  Rumors have long circulated about Betty White congratulating Ben Affleck and Matt Damon after they won their Academy Award for Good Will Hunting.  She is also rumored to be responsible for Antonio Banderas’ split with his first wife Ana Leza.  Jack Nicholson has refused to comment on whether White had anything to do with a slipped disk he suffered in Greece five years ago.

Photos of White with the Jonas Brothers are currently the talk of Hollywood.  Fans of the Brothers, pre-adolescent girls and their mothers, are in shock over their indecent behavior or confused because they’re too young to understand what people are talking about.  Fans of Betty White are sending their congratulations.  Upset over the scandal,  management has forced the Jonas Brothers to admit their real ages to prove they were all legal adults at the time.  The Jonas Brothers are actually in their mid-thirties.  Betty White is likely to be crowned AARP’s Woman of the Year.

HUNTINGTON, NY – Over the weekend oldest brother Kevin Jonas got married.  At Oheka Castle in Long Island, Kevin Jonas married his hairdresser, 23 year old Danielle Delesea.  Scientific investigation confirms that this Saturday’s blizzard was sent by an angry snow god trying to stop the ceremony.

Himavat, a Hindu snow god, was angered by the Jonas Brother getting married.  According to theology scholars Himavat has been a rabid Jonas Brothers fan since they performed in Mumbai last spring.  Researchers believe he sent the storm fearing a Yoko Ono type situation if one of the brothers got married.

Saturday’s Blizzard surprised meteorologists when it started in the Atlantic then went up the entire American Eastern Seaboard, burying cities and leaving havoc in its wake.  Apparently the Jonas Brothers kept quiet about the marriage until only a few days before it happened.  Knowing only the general region to look Himavat pounded the eastern seaboard, moving northward until he found ceremony in Long Island.

Kevin Jonas was married in a castle estate outside of New York City, with a magical forest themed wedding.  The other brothers, also believed to be genetically engineered by Disney and share a hive mind, served as best men for the occasion.  Himavat arrived just in time to see the couple declared man and wife.  Mourning his lost cause, he left several ice sculptures on their lawn as a wedding present and the blizzard died out.

Despite one of their ranks being married the Jonas Brothers (scientifically referred to as Jonasai) will continue to market themselves to a preteen audience.  Himavat has returned to his home atop the Himalayan mountains, binging on ice cream and Hannah Montana reruns.

GIVES DAUGHTER CAMOUFLAGE BABY BJORN MADE FOR HUNTING

After the Anonymous group hacked into Sarah Palin’s personal email account, the group gave Weekly World News exclusive photos of Palin’s secret baby shower for her daughter Bristol.

The photos show the gifts for the unborn baby and mother-to-be included the new Jonas Brothers album, lipstick, rifle ammunition and a special snowmobile-adapted baby seat.

Further examination reveals that each guest was given a gift bag of sunless tanner, voter registration cards and ‘Jesus is my Co-Pilot” bumper stickers.

The most memorable photo shows Bristol Palin happily accepting a matching camouflage Baby Bjorn that the Governor uses while Elk and Bigfoot hunting.

Anonymous also included an e-mail from Bristol to her mother, which read:
“thx for inviting levi! he wanted to come but you know how he is when a new xbox game comes out…”