SARASOTA, FL – Jon and Kate Gosselin spent their 10th wedding anniversary apart last week.  While Kate played with the children at their Pennsylvania home, Jon was at a bar in Florida, with Manigator.

Jon and Kate Gosselin, made famous by their reality show “Jon and Kate Plus 8”, have had their marital troubles

Directors on the show have grown accustomed to Jon running away and hiding from his wife.  Production regularly stops while PAs find Jon, pull him out of his space, and force him to interact with his wife.

It came as no surprise during filming on Friday when Jon went missing.  After searching the entire house, filming on the episode continued.  Kate seemed mostly annoyed that her anniversary Mani-Pedi and tanning session would have to be pushed back.

Weekly World News investigators found Jon Gosselin belly up to a bar in Sarasota, Florida with half-man half-alligator mutant Manigator.

According to eye witnesses Jon strolled into the bar around 6pm looking dejected.  Jon kept mumbling about being rejected, although whether he was talking about his marriage or someone connected to the nearby circus is unknown.  Around 7pm Manigator stumbled up to the bar and recognized the television personality.

Manigator, who is currently wanted in several states and legally barred from entering Canada, struck up a conversation with the oft put down TV personality.  Jon went on a rant about being constantly rejected and the mutant took notice.  Soon the two were exchanging stories of rejection and drinking arm in arm.  For the next few hours the two alternated between crying in their drinks and offering passing women tickets “To the Gun Show!”  Just before midnight Jon put money in the jukebox and the two sang along to “I Got You, Babe.”

At the end of the night Jon settled their tab and the two stumbled off into the street.  What happened next is unknown, but the two are believed to be involved with dozens of lawn gnomes that were stolen in the area and later found on a beach spelling out “minus 9!”

WERNERSVILLE, PA – As the media attention grows surrounding allegations of infidelity, Jon and Kate Gosselin have asked for professional help from PhD Ape!

“I’ve actually been a fan of the show for a long time,” PhD Ape told reporters camped outside of the Gosselin’s mansion compound in rural Pennsylvania.  “I was flipping channels one night and happened upon TLC.  I see all these little children running around, and two frantic parents just trying to keep up.”

“When little Leah walks up to the camera and tells the audience that Hannah pooped in her ‘unnah-wears’, I was hooked!”

“I actually reached out to Jon and Kate during their second season, not that they seemed to be having problems, but just letting them know about my services and experience working with celebrities.”

Now a few years later, the Gosselin’s have reached out to PhD Ape.

For the past several weeks, the famous parents have been battling allegations of infidelity on the part of Jon with a young schoolteacher, and claims that Jon has actually been estranged from the family for weeks at a time, living with his mother in a nearby town.

While the brother of the teacher has verified the claims, Jon and Kate have adamantly denied them, while confirming turmoil in their relationship.

More recently, allegations have emerged that Kate has begun a torrid love-affair with her silver-haired bodyguard who accompanies Kate whenever she leaves the house.  Kate and her bodyguard have spent a great deal of time away from the family while on her book tours, promoting her non-fiction work that details the grueling life of a mother of eight.

“I’ve always said that the two most difficult jobs in the world are being a parent, and being a celebrity,” PhD Ape said.  “Just imagine how difficult that makes it to be a celebrity because you are a parent!”

“Without their children, Jon and Kate would not be famous, so the need to stay together, to work through these difficult times for the sake of their children and their status, is essential.”

“I’ll be spending at least the weekend, perhaps through Memorial Day, with the Gosselins, getting to know John and Kate, as well as Maddy, Kara, Leah, Hannah, Alexis, Joel, Colin, and of course little bespectacled Aaden.”

“Jon was very young when he married Kate, only 22, by the time he was 27 he was the father of eight.  When I turned 27 I was still sewing my wild oats and just starting a drug-fueled romp through Grad School.  You can’t blame him for having wandering eyes, but it’s how he deals with it now that counts.”

“We’ve all seen the show, we know Kate isn’t perfect.  She is shrewd and overbearing at times but we’re here to work through this and come out on top for the sake of the children.  Those adorable little goldmines that may not be adorable forever.”

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Jon Gosselin has spent weeks battling allegations that he cheated on his wife Kate.  But Weekly World News has finally uncovered his strange affair – with 8 clowns!

Jon and Kate Gosselin star in the popular TLC reality show “Jon and Kate plus 8”, which chronicles their life as parents of 7 year old twins and 4 year old sextuplets.

Since US magazine broke the story last week there has been a frenzy of allegations and denials in attempting to discover the truth.

Weekly World News reporters, however, have finally uncovered definitive photographic proof of the Jon Gosselin affair.

Last weekend, Jon Gosselin was seen entering a hotel room with 8 female circus performers.  The women are believed to have been part of a touring production of Cirque du Soleil.

Pictures clearly show Jon entering a room trying to avoid being recognized.  The room was registered to a “Pepper Freckles” who checked in only one hour before.

A security guard, who wishes to remain anonymous, says during the next three hours several guests complained about noises from that room, including loud repetitive squeaking and occasional rounds of applause.  During that time he once saw Jon out of the room getting ice; he had multicolored face paint on his collar and appeared to be walking funny, most likely from the oversized shoes he was wearing.  The guard then saw a female clown lean out of her room and beckon Gosselin back with a large and inappropriately shaped balloon.

Hours later Jon was seen outside of the room, weeping to his clown lovers.  He began yelling and it became clear he was desperate for them to take him with them.  The clowns refused flatly, and used seltzer bottles to make him let go of their legs.  Through tears he watched the 8 women pile into one small car and drive away.

Spokespeople for Jon Gosslin have yet to comment on these most recent allegations.