Tag Archive | "johnmccain"

GOP LEADERS PROTEST STIMULUS PACKAGE

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WASHINGTON, DC – After criticizing the economic stimulus plan, Republicans have chained themselves to doors of the Capital Building to block its passing.

PhD APE TO COUNSEL MCCAIN FOLLOWING HISTORIC LOSS

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PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.

ALIEN WEEPS FOR MCCAIN LOSS

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PHOENIX, AZ – The Alien is in remorse over his first ever incorrect presidential endorsement.

UPDATE: MCCAIN ACCEPTS ENDORSEMENT!

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WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain.

STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS TO TIME TRAVEL

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PHOENIX, AZ – With his presidential bid seen as lost, John McCain is putting a Flux Capacitor on the Straight Talk Express. It appears that the GOP is resorting to time travel to secure the election.

McKAINYE CLOTHING LINE

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CHICAGO, IL – Shocking both the hip-hop and the political worlds, Kanye West and John McCain announced that they have developed a joint clothing line.

MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay. Unfortunately, the maverick senator doesn’t quite get computers and sold it all too cheaply.

MANIGATOR UPSETS MCCAIN RALLY

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KEY LARGO, FL – Manigator flees arrest at a McCain rally where he bit a man he claimed was “Un-American.”

ICE QUEEN CINDY MCCAIN

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SVALBARD, NORWAY – Reports have emerged claiming that Cindy McCain, wife of Republican Presidential nominee John McCain, will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.

OBATMA AND BAT BOY TOUR U.S.

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Obatma has been on a road tour with Bat Boy rallying support for the Democratic candidate. The two are making appearances in key swing states, happily handing out stickers and posing for pictures.