GOP LEADERS PROTEST STIMULUS PACKAGE

mccainchained

WASHINGTON, DC – After criticizing the economic stimulus plan, Republicans have chained themselves to doors of the Capitol Building to block its passing.

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PhD APE TO COUNSEL MCCAIN FOLLOWING HISTORIC LOSS

PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.

STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS TO TIME TRAVEL

PHOENIX, AZ – With his presidential bid seen as lost, John McCain is putting a Flux Capacitor on the Straight Talk Express.

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MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay.

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