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Tag Archives: john mccain
MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay. Unfortunately, the maverick senator doesn’t quite get computers and sold it all too cheaply.
MANIGATOR UPSETS MCCAIN RALLY
KEY LARGO, FL – Manigator flees arrest at a McCain rally where he bit a man he claimed was “Un-American.”
ICE QUEEN CINDY MCCAIN
SVALBARD, NORWAY – Reports have emerged claiming that Cindy McCain, wife of Republican Presidential nominee John McCain, will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.
OBATMA AND BAT BOY TOUR U.S.
Obatma has been on a road tour with Bat Boy rallying support for the Democratic candidate. The two are making appearances in key swing states, happily handing out stickers and posing for pictures.
MCCAIN NEGOTIATES BETWEEN ANGELS & DEMONS
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Angels and demons have quietly entered into peace talks, thanks to Senator John McCain!
JOSEPH PLUMMER IS JOE PLUMBER
PASS CHRISTIAN, MS – In last night’s debate, both presidential nominees Barack Obama and John McCain repeated a story about a “Joe Plumber”. Weekly World News researchers scoured the nation for this elusive American.
OBATMA!
At a shocking press conference this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama announced that he has a half-man half-bat half-brother.
MCCAIN-BORG UPGRADES FOR DEBATE
DALLAS, TX – Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced Monday he will suspend his campaign yet again in order to upgrade his cybernetic systems. Sources say he hopes to appear more passably human before the final debate.
FIRST EVER INTERSTELLAR EXTRADITION
SAFFORD, AZ. – A fugitive’s abduction by aliens has prompted a hasty interstellar extradition treaty, now under review by the U.S. Senate.
KEATING FIVE REUNITE FOR BASKETBALL GAME
WASHINGTON, DC – Senator John McCain took a few hours out of his busy campaign schedule to attend the annual basketball game that reunites “The Keating Five.”
