CHICAGO, IL – Jessica Simpson appeared on Oprah to discuss among other things her weight and John Mayer. Long time friend Tonya was there for support!

Jessica Simpson is making headlines again and not exactly for the best of reasons. Her relationship with ex-boyfriend John Mayer has been placed in a new light after some ill-advised comments by Mayer. In addition, critics have once again jumped all over her weight issues. She appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday to shed some clarity on her life. Tonya, the world’s fattest cat, was there to lend support.

“She’s been a close friend of the Simpsons for years,” said a spokeswoman for Tonya. “In the midst of this new media storm about her life, Jessica reached out to Tonya once again for support and Tonya did not hesitate.”

Simpson addressed the matter of John Mayer first. She told Winfrey that she felt betrayed by his words and actions and that she would not accept an apology from him.

“Sexually it was crazy,” said Mayer of their relationship in Playboy magazine. “It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f—ing snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f— you, I would start selling all my s— just to keep f—ing you,” he so eloquently added.

Simson “hopes he gets his life together” but says she hasn’t accepted his apology and that part of her life is over.

Next the two moved on to her weight issues. The singer/actress told Winfrey that she is “absolutely” happy with her body. “I love my curves,” she said. “I’m not going to ever be size 0 and I don’t want to weigh 90 pounds.”

The two continued to address her weight issues but one could sense a confidence and inner happiness from Simpson. Whether Tonya is to thank for that is unknown, but the moral support sure didn’t hurt.

“I’ve been with her the last few days leading up to the interview. We talked about everything and laid all her feelings on the table,” Tonya said through her spokeswoman. “The most important thing I tried to accomplish was to reassure her that she’s beautiful, no matter what others think. I told her that Big is Beautiful and that Bigger is Better.”

NEW YORK, NY – John Mayer, known as somewhat of a bad boy, has gotten himself in quite the pickle over his choice of words in a Playboy interview!

John Mayer has landed in hot water over his use of the “N Word” in a recent Playboy interview. As any celebrity does nowadays, Mayer took to his twitter page to apologize. “I am sorry that I used the word. I should have never said the word and I will never say it again,” Mayer proclaimed in a series of tweets.

In his interview, Mayer talked about sex, his former girlfriends Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson, and about black women and his lack of a “hood pass”, which by many were seen as racist comments. Mayer said, “Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n—– pass.”

Mayer made sure that wasn’t his only controversial statement. In regards to his sex life, Mayer said he doesn’t date black women because his penis is “sort of like a white supremacist.”

His remarks have created a whole storm of controversy and outrage. “John Mayer should not open his mouth unless he is singing,” said Joell Ortiz on his Twitter page. Singer, Marwa, also added, “Damn John Mayer; he is racist.” This is certainly not Mayer’s first lapse in judgement. It almost seems as though once we start t forget about his last incident, he gives us something new to think about.

Clean up on aisles 1 through 10. You’re on mop duty John Mayer!

LOS ANGELES, CA – John Mayer performed at Michael Jackson’s memorial last night.  Sources confirm that Mayer was never invited and instead snuck in.

Crowds were surprised at the Staples Center last night in Los Angeles when John Mayer took to the stage.  Up to that point the performers at Michael Jackson’s tribute memorial had been people close with the star.

Sources confirm that John Mayer snuck into the Staples Center to perform last night.  Security camera footage shows the 31-year-old crooner climbing fences and sneaking past guards to get in the building.  At one point he put a lone security guard in a sleeper hold, then stuffed him in a locker before moving closer to the stage.  Once in the backstage area, no one questioned Mayer’s presence.

Backstage Mayer attempted to fit in with the properly billed artists.  He tried to make small talk with Diana Ross, and other legends of Motown but was consistently shot down.  Quincy Jones tried to make the boy feel welcome before quickly losing his patience with him.  In the end Mayer spent most of his time standing in a corner with Corey Feldman, whose Michael Jackson outfit made many wonder if he had started doing drugs again.

At what was supposed to be an intermission John Mayer took to the stage. The audience wondered why the house lights had come up for his performance, and why he was not on the program.  Mayer’s performance was highly out of place between the various musical legends and tribute acts.  Both Bubbles the Chimp and LaToya Jackson had to be kept from flinging poo at the stage.  At the end of his song Mayer received polite applause from the bewildered crowd before he ran off stage and into the night.

No official criminal charges will be filed against John Mayer for trespassing at the Staples Center.  However Macauley Culkin has sworn a vendetta against John Mayer and is believed to be seeking vigilante justice.