SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ – Jersey Shore is being brought back for a second season. The Pope declares Snooki Polizzi the Patron Saint of the Jersey Shoreline.

Greetings sentients! It is I, your humble ambassador for the edification on all things epicurean, Mygar. Today I shall be providing a Year in Review.

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ – Italian Americans continue to protest MTV’s Jersey Shore, despite the likeness of Christopher Columbus appearing in one of the cast members’ tans.

NEW YORK, NY – New York state, desperate for money, has agreed to sell Coney Island to the Merpeople.