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	<title>Weekly World News &#187; intergalactic</title>
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		<title>ALIEN CONCERT FOR END OF WORLD</title>
		<link>http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/35013/alien-concert-for-end-of-world/</link>
		<comments>http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/35013/alien-concert-for-end-of-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Jun 2011 14:19:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tap Vann</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HEADLINES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TopStory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[18687 Monterrey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 apocolapyse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advanced medicine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alien]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alien concert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ALIENS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad aliens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[concert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[concert for aliens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[end of world]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good aliens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intergalactic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mayan Calendar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Monterrey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Blue Ones]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UFO Phil]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[DENVER - A all-star concert for extraterrestrials is being planned for 2012 - the apocalypse.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=weeklyworldnews.com&amp;blog=5758908&amp;post=35013&amp;subd=weeklyworldnews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/35013/alien-concert-for-end-of-world/"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-35015" title="alien_concertC" src="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/alien_concertc.jpg" alt="" width="375" height="200" /></a></p>
<p>DENVER &#8211; A all-star concert for extraterrestrials is being planned for 2012 &#8211; the apocalypse.<span id="more-35013"></span></p>
<p>UFO Phil, a songwriter and filmmaker from Colorado Springs, Colo., who earned fame appearing with comedian Tom Green and on radio shows like &#8220;Coast to Coast AM,&#8221; is organizing a live concert for extraterrestrials.</p>
<p>The stellar show is scheduled for June 10, 2012 to correspond with the arrival of aliens on Earth, an event foretold centuries ago by the Mayans, according to UFO Phil. The show will take place in Monterrey, Calif., at the site of the legendary 1967 Pop Festival.</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/alien_concertb.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-35016 aligncenter" title="alien_concertB" src="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/alien_concertb.jpg" alt="" width="375" height="200" /></a></p>
<p>&#8220;A lot of people think the world ends in 2012 because the Mayan calendar runs out,&#8221; said UFO Phil, whose real name is Phil Hill. &#8220;But actually, that&#8217;s when the Blue Ones get here.&#8221; The &#8220;Blue Ones,&#8221; according to Hill, are &#8220;good aliens.&#8221; Bad aliens, he says, are red.</p>
<p>Hill, 39, promises that the intergalactic travelers will bring new technology to share with Earth. They will also come bearing advanced medicine, exotic foods and a brand new calendar.</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/ufo_concert.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-35017 aligncenter" title="ufo_concert" src="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/ufo_concert.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="167" /></a></p>
<p>For the proposed concert, Hill is composing an original work called &#8220;Symphony for the Aliens.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;The symphony will incorporate special proprietary musical instruments never used on Earth,&#8221; Hill said. &#8220;Humans won’t be able to hear the music, since the instruments create ultrasonic tones audible only to aliens.&#8221;</p>
<p>It won&#8217;t be an entirely silent show, though, because Hill is shooting for the stars with the rest of lineup. He&#8217;s trying to book earthlings Kanye West, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Mystic Uri Gellar is also supposedly slated as the opening act.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s a video by UFO Phil, who is organizing the concert.</p>
<p>[youtubehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJnpa_TC82w&amp;w=480&amp;l=385]</p>
<p><em>David Lohr, AOL</em></p>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Tap Vann</media:title>
		</media:content>

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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>BEASTIE BAT BOYS</title>
		<link>http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/4156/beastie-bat-boys/</link>
		<comments>http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/4156/beastie-bat-boys/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Maleeka Spriggs</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HEADLINES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TopStory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ad-rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bat Boy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beastie boys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beastie boys concert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beastie boys show]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brooklyn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chocolate-covered mosquitoes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fight for your right]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hardcore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hip-hop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intergalactic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mike d.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mike d. vegan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mosquitoes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music hall of williamsburg]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[new york]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rap crew]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rick rubin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sabotage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[secret beastie boys concert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[so what'cha want]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vegan]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BROOKLYN, NY - The Beastie Boys held a secret show in their hometown, and a certain beastly boy was on hand to collaborate.<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=weeklyworldnews.com&amp;blog=5758908&amp;post=4156&amp;subd=weeklyworldnews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/beastie-bat-boys/"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-4157" title="beastiebatboys" src="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/beastiebatboys.jpg" alt="" width="375" height="200" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">BROOKLYN, NY &#8211; The Beastie Boys held a secret show in their hometown, and a certain beastly boy was on hand to collaborate.<span id="more-4156"></span></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">One of the longest-lived hip hop acts, the Beastie Boys originally started as a punk band but was shaped by famous producer Rick Rubin into a three-man rap crew. They found critical and financial success with hits &#8220;So What&#8217;cha Want&#8221;, &#8220;Sabotage&#8221; and &#8220;Intergalactic&#8221;, all of which they performed at their surprise concert at the Music Hall of Williamsburg last night.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">During their final song, &#8220;Fight For Your Right&#8221;, Ad-Rock spotted the one and only Bat Boy head banging in the front row and pulled him on stage. His contribution mainly consisted of shrieking into the microphone, coincidentally harkening back to the band&#8217;s hardcore phase.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Bat Boy was so excited he offered them chocolate-covered mosquitoes after the show, but the Boys declined as Mike D. is now vegan.</p>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Maleeka Spriggs</media:title>
		</media:content>

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		<item>
		<title>UFO Found on Beach After Hurricane Ike</title>
		<link>http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/2890/ufo-found-on-beach-after-hurricane-ike/</link>
		<comments>http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/2890/ufo-found-on-beach-after-hurricane-ike/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Sep 2008 09:32:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Erik Van Datiken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ALIENS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MUTANTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alien]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alien pilots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer bottles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dvr]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[earth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fringe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[galveston island]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gray aliens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happy meal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[houston]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hurricane]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hurricane ike]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inebriated]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intergalactic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mcdonald's]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microbrewery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[space craft]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[texas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ufo]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Unearthly beer bottles scattered on the floor suggest that the aliens had been flying inebriated<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=weeklyworldnews.com&amp;blog=5758908&amp;post=2890&amp;subd=weeklyworldnews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/hurricaneikeufo.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2889" title="hurricaneikeufo" src="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/hurricaneikeufo.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="194" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">Inebriated alien pilots found onboard!</p>
<p>HOUSTON, TX &#8211; Weekly World News has learned from a respected scientific source that survivors searching for wreckage stumbled across a UFO half buried in the beach on Galveston Island, a barrier island on the Texas Gulf coast.</p>
<p>Officials have desperately tried to hush up the staggering find, but WWN has managed to obtain top-secret photos of the craft, which measures 90 feet across.</p>
<p>The source tells WWN that the drowned corpses of two space alien astronauts were found in the saucer-shaped craft&#8217;s cockpit. What appeared to be unearthly beer bottles scattered on the floor suggested that the aliens had been flying inebriated.</p>
<p>The government, which has seized the UFO, has imposed a total news blackout, with officials refusing to confirm any aspect of the sensational story.</p>
<p>But scientific sources who believe the earthshaking discovery must be shared with the whole world leaked the news along with dazzling photographs to Dr. Wilton, who passed them on exclusively to Weekly World News.</p>
<p>“The creatures found in the cockpit are classic &#8216;gray aliens&#8217; with bulbous heads, elongated limbs and two belly buttons,&#8221; says the scientist, well known for his balanced writings about the possibility of extraterrestrial life. &#8220;Clearly, they are not of this Earth.&#8221;</p>
<p>Experts aren&#8217;t sure how the craft ended up in the water and on the beach. Scientists suspect the UFO was flying low to avoid radar, when it was unexpectedly blown into the hurricane.</p>
<p>Initial findings indicate the aliens drowned. &#8220;The cockpit window had been breached and a preliminary autopsy found they had water in their lungs,&#8221; says Dr. Wilton.</p>
<p>Exceedingly high amounts of alcohol were found in their blood and, presumably, kidneys. “Frankly,” said Dr. Wilton, “ we have no idea what half of their body organs are…”</p>
<p>Other amazing discoveries reportedly found inside the saucer include: a McDonald&#8217;s Happy Meal, a collection of intergalactic microbrewery beer bottle caps and a DVR box holding two weeks’ worth of the new supernatural TV show, “Fringe”.</p>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">Erik Van Datiken</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">hurricaneikeufo</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Alien Marketers</title>
		<link>http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/2586/alien-telemarketers/</link>
		<comments>http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/2586/alien-telemarketers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:04:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Erik Van Datiken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ALIENS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MUTANTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alien]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caller id]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[do not call list]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ETelemarketers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[georgia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intergalactic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[phone number]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[telemarketers]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[“Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a cat caught in a blender. In the midst of all that shrieking, I could’ve sworn I heard my name."<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=weeklyworldnews.com&amp;blog=5758908&amp;post=2586&amp;subd=weeklyworldnews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/alientelemarketers.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2587" title="alientelemarketers" src="http://weeklyworldnews.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/alientelemarketers.jpg" alt="" width="425" height="165" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">HARRISON, Ga. — Flip Mallard thought he’d finally be free of annoying telemarketers.</p>
<p>“I got a new number and promptly registered with the National Do Not Call List so I could say goodbye to unsolicited sales pitches,” the twenty-seven-year-old dishwasher told Weekly World News. “The only folks who would have my number would be friends and family.”</p>
<p>Silence was golden for a few weeks until Mallard began receiving calls in the middle of the night.</p>
<p>“It was way past two in the morning when the phone rang,” he said. “I scowled at the Caller ID, which read ‘Caller Unknown — Out of Area.’ Furious at being awakened, I picked up the phone, determined to give whoever it was a severe tongue-lashing.</p>
<p>“At first there was silence, then a low pulsing hum as if I were being connected over vast distances,” he said. “Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a cat caught in a blender. In the midst of all that shrieking, I could’ve sworn I heard my name. I figured it was my creepy coworker, Rob Bendis, trying to ‘punk’ me so I screamed right back. He screamed. I screamed. We both screamed — for a full five minutes.</p>
<p>“I finally hung up,” he said. “But moments later a bright beam of light shot from the night sky into my bedroom. A hologram of slithering, tentacled vaguely humanoid creatures with multiple breasts danced by my bed. It was like an extraterrestrial version of Girls Gone Nova! — and somehow I’d ordered it!</p>
<p>“That was when I realized I’d been alien telemarketed!”</p>
<p>In the weeks that followed, Mallard received more off-world sales calls.</p>
<p>“Evidently I was now fair game to every Tom, Dick and Q’uetztol out there,” he complained. “Since I had ‘bought’ once, my name and number had been made accessible to other ETelemarketers. Whenever the phone rang I was too scared to say anything, lest I accidentally order a molecular condensing weight loss program!”</p>
<p>The beleaguered — and tired — Mallard had no choice but to finally change his phone number again.</p>
<p>“Thankfully, the intergalactic calls stopped,” Mallard said. “I haven’t figured out how to cancel the holograms, though, so I guess I’ll have to change my debit card number as well.</p>
<p>“Fortunately, pennies go a long way on their world.”</p>
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