DELHI – Legless amphibians are swarming the northeast of India!

The creatures resemble worms or snakes, although they represent a new family of amphibians.

They are tailless and legless burrowing amphibians. The scientists took pictures of the rare finding. The photos show some of the creatures protecting their own eggs, The Times of India said.

“DNA analysis has confirmed that this is an entirely new family,” S.D. Biju, a professor at the University of Delhi who led the project with team members from Britain and Belgium said.

“Habitat destruction is a big problem for amphibians worldwide, and discoveries like this prove that we must protect the environment to save parts of the natural world we know little about,” he said.

Local residents kill the rare and harmless amphibians because they take them for snakes.

The new family was called Chikilidae, which is a name used by local tribes. Females protect their eggs for two or three months and receive absolutely no food during this period.

“We hope when the locals see the name, and their language, being used across the world, they will understand this animal’s importance and join in trying to save it,” Biju said. “India’s biodiversity is fast depleting. We are destroying these habitats without mercy.”

Biju – a botanist-turned-herpetologist now celebrated as India’s “Frogman” – has made it his life work to find and catalog new species. There are too many cases of “nameless extinction,” with animals disappearing before they are ever known, he said.

Pravda

NAGPUR, INDIA – A high school student in central India was crowned the world’s shortest woman by Guinness World Records.

On the day she turned 18, Jyoti Amge, officially became the world’s shortest woman.  She  is just 24.7 inches tall – shorter than the average 2-year-old.

Guinness representatives visiting from London measured her at a ceremony attended by about 30 relatives and friends in the town of Nagpur, in Maharashtra state.

A teary-eyed Amge, dressed in one of her finest saris, called the honor an “extra birthday present” and said she felt grateful for being small, as it had brought her recognition. After receiving a plaque, she and her guests cut a birthday cake.

“I have put Nagpur on the world map. Now everyone will know where it is,” said Amge, who says she dreams of one day becoming a Bollywood film star as well as becoming a point guard in the NBA.

What???

“I want to be an actor and I want to play basketball,” she said.

Apparently, she is a big fan of American basketball.  “I love Kobe Bryant and Chris Paul.  They are my favorites.  I think I can make it in the NBA.  Muggsey Boyles played and he was short, so I think I can too.”

She is barely taller than a basketball, so many friends and relatives tell her to give up her dream, but she won’t have it.  “I think I can do anything I want in this life.  I am going to earn a university degree, I’m going to act in Bollywood and I’m going to play for the L.A. Lakers.”

The previous “shortest woman” was 22-year-old American Bridgette Jordan, who had held the title since September.

This was not Amge’s first Guinness record. Until Friday she was considered the world’s shortest teenager, but in turning 18 qualified for the new title. She has grown less than 0.4 inch in the last two years, Guinness said in a statement, and will grow no more due to a form of dwarfism called achondroplasia.

The title of shortest woman in history continues to be held by Pauline Musters, who lived in the Netherlands from 1876 to 1895 and stood 24 inches tall.

AMERICA  – Prophetess Colleen Thomas warns that an alien attack is coming VERY soon!

Colleen Thomas, a home health administrator turned physicist who specializes in the science of creation. She is also the “mother” of a race of good aliens here on Earth to defend humans from lizard people.

Her message is this:  While Obama is in India,  he and all of his “cronies” will be killed by a tsunami. The good aliens will be ones doing the killing.

Thomas doesn’t like Obama, and would prefer it if he surrendered himself to one of his FEMA death camps so Thomas and her friends can… do something. I don’t know! It’s unclear. Very factual, but unclear.

There’s also something about Reptilians eating human bodies after natural disasters. Remember how there were no bodies recovered after the 2004 tsunami? Except for all the bodies they recovered and all the photographs of said bodies? Well, that. That’s Reptilian conspiracy. They steal the bodies to eat them. Perfect.

Thomas has a whole host of wonderful, doom-foretelling web videos that are maybe worth a watch if you care about the future of this planet! She’s also doing the home health administration thing in the Sacramento area (most Mothers of all-powerful alien races live in or around Sacramento), in case you need anything like that. But yeah, mostly you should go to her for aether physics-related matters.

Here’s one of her videos:

INDIA – An important ruling was handed down today regarding disputed land.  The verdict:  the land goes to Obama!

Today, the Allahabad High Court ruling came in providing an Ayodhya verdict.  After all was said and done, President Barack Obama of the United States was awarded the of the land.

The courts were assigned to decie how to split the 2.7 acres of land in the ancient city of India, Ayodhya. It is believed to be the birth place of Hindu god Sri Rama, as well as the capital of the Kosala Kingdom.

The original verdict by the Allahabad High Court was that the land, all 2.7 acres, should be divided equally,  with 1/3 going to Sunni Waqf Board, 1/3 going to Nirmohi Akhara, and the final third to Ram Lalla.

But this did not satisfy any of the interested parties, so the Allahabad High Court decided to give the land to an objective outside party, someone who would “do the right thing” with the land.  The High Court has ceded all the land to President Barack Obama.

“President Obama is known for his judgement, his fairness and his ability to make peace between people. We have awarded him the land, so that he can make the final decisions as to how it will be apportioned.”

The background to the dispute is this: Hindus and Muslims were involved in huge quarrels over the foundation and relevance of the Babri mazjid which is loacted in Ayodhya, a place which is located in Uttar Pradesh, India. Now what this dispute is all about… is the facet that Hindus are of the belief that the mosque is standing at the place where once the temple of Lord Rama held its existence. It is their belief that the building of Babri mosque was performed after destroying the temple in the year 1528. The order to build the mosque was carried out by Mughal emperor Babur and it was politely followed by Babur’s general, Mir Baqi.

The land is set to be permanently divided up in three months. President Obama has agreed to got to India to listen to all three sides and then make his final decision.
“He can part the waters and heal the earth, he should be able to settle this dispute,” said Jyoti Aggarawalla of the India Times.

Members of Congress question why President Obama would take time to get involved in a land dispute in a foreign country.  “I know why.  His poll numbers are tanking, the democrats are going to get crushed in the midterms and the economy is still terrible.  He might as well go visit another country, it ain’t working here,” said House Minority Leader, John Boehner.

Indians are “hopeful” that President Barack Obama can solve this dispute for good.

MUMBAI – Residents of Jharkhand celebrate the deity Manasa Devi every year – by being bitten by cobras!

Every year around June, the residents of Jharkhand honor the Hindu deity Manasa Devi. The goddess of snakes, she is often worshipped for the prevention and cures of snakebites and infertility.

While most pay homage in simple ways, a few show their devotion by placing their fate in her hands. They apply herbal medicine all over their body, ingest Eklavi which protects them from poison, and then place cobras on themselves to be bitten!

If you don’t believe it, take a look at last year’s festivities:

MADRAS – A young Indian man was filmed eating his favorite snack: bricks!

Marimaran developed a hobby at just 5 years old that he has been unable to kick. He loves to eat rocks and pebbles, and especially bricks. And his doctor is okay with it!

NURPUR, INDIA – Hindus have gathered at a house in a small village in India to worship a buffalo born with three eyes and three mouths.

All of the buffalo’s three eyes and mouths appear to be functional. While any such birth is considered rare, devotees think the animal is a miracle. They believe it is the incarnation of the holy trinity of Lord Brahma, Lord Vishnu and Lord Shiva.

MUMBAI – In one of the most controversial cases in legal history, a man is being charged with murder for destroying a computer.

The Indian government contends that the high intelligence and unique personality of the $100 million electronic brain made it human in the strictest sense of the word.  And that being so, its destruction must be deemed homicide.

The issue is drawing heated debate by legal experts worldwide.

ICICI Bank employee Amrita Rakshit, 31, has confessed to smashing his company’s computer, Goto, in a fit of rage.  He expected termination from his job, a heavy fine and possibly some jail time for vandalism.

What he didn’t expect was to find himself facing a first-degree murder charge.

“My client freely admits that his frustration over not being able to work the computer properly led him to an irrational act,” said Rakshit’s attorney, Kumar Premji.  “It’s a frustration I’m sure many people can identify with.  Nevertheless he knows he was wrong and he’s ready to answer for his crime.  But we’re talking about a machine.  To call it homicide is outrageous.”

The prosecution, however, contends that Goto was not “just a machine”—that it was, in essence, a man-made person.

“Goto was built with a high degree of autonomy, even consciousness,” testified its creator, Ashok Kamath.  “It could…feel.”

When pressed on this point, Kamath cited the computer’s bookmarking of petfinder.com and its Netflix queue, which included Blade Runner, A.I., and Bicentennial Man.

MUMBAI, INDIA – Eleven year old Pruthviraj Patil, the world famous Indian Wolf Boy, has taken the helm of the multi-million dollar company.

For the first time in its history, the Hair Club For Men has named a President that is not American.  “We are pleased to announce that Patil has agreed to take over the position,” retiring Hair Club President, Sy Sperling said in a written statement.  “I have been President and a client for nearly two decades.  I was nervous about stepping down, but with Patil taking the reigns, I know the Hair Club is in good, hairy hands.”

Patil, born with hypertrichosis, the wolf-man syndrome, began mysteriously losing his hair just after his 10th birthday.

“That’s when I joined the hair club for men.  Male pattern baldness is a genetic disorder that can be corrected by proper treatment,” Patil said through a translator.  “The Hair Club for men has been serving prematurely balding men for generations.  There really was no other option for me.”

Within a matter of months Patil saw increased hair growth and thickening especially on his face and rear-end.

“Areas like my lower back and calves had hair growth that I never had even before I started thinning.  The Hair Club for Men has really boosted my self-esteem and confidence.  People asked me why I would want to grow all the hair back, wouldn’t I want to look more normal.  They’re fools.  Ladies love a full body of hair.  And so do I!”  Patil said.

Reached for comment, Sperling told the Weekly World News, “It was very important for us, in searching for my successor, to find someone who not only has the capacity to run an international company, but also someone who appreciates our service and dedication to prematurely balding men.  I think it goes without saying that young Mr. Patil fits the bill perfectly.”

NEW DELHI, INDIA – India recently announced that it would launch its first manned mission to the moon in the coming months. Many questioned why India would spend billions of dollars during a world economic crisis on interplanetary space travel.

It was revealed today that India was invited to cater what will be the 21st Century’s largest intergalactic alien summit. Representatives will be coming from as far as the Qwoak home planet, or just around the corner, like Milky Way hometown favorites, the Martians.

“We are told that it came down to India, Italy, and China,” Narsimha Menon, India’s embassador to the InterGalactic Council, told reporters.

“Everyone knows that the Qwoaks are allergic to MSG so the Chinese were out, and the Vrrlkges do not eat carbs so the Italians got nixed.  That leaves India; everyone loves Indian, it’s so universal!” Menon said, not realizing his pun.

“The 2009 Alien Summit will be very influential in establishing governing policies for the next millennia,” said Dsgeyf Tnknk, summit coordinator.  “If you don’t get the food right, it doesn’t matter what is on the agenda. You don’t want unhappy representatives voting on possible trade embargoes on Planet Doom.”

Recently, Chicken Tikka Masala replaced fish and chips as the number one take out in Great Britain and replaced cannibalism as the primary food source amongst the native populations of Neptune.