WASHINGTON, DC – Bat Boy and Obatma brought their usual mischief to President Obama’s inaugural celebration.

After being bumped from Beyonce’s performance, the pop singer took pity on Obatma, the President’s half bat half brother, and brought him as her date to the Neighborhood Inaugural Ball.  Obatma wore a Calvin Klein version of his standard black suit, which Michelle Obama helped him pick out.  While Beyonce prepared with the tech crew to sing at the event, Obatma played with Sasha and Maliya Obama.

Although security was extremely tight and tickets were incredibly hard to come by, Obatma managed to sneak in the country’s most loveable mutant, Bat Boy, who had endorsed Obama to sway the mutant American vote. According to eyewitnesses, the two climbed up into the rafters and hung by their feet in order to get a better view of the famous dance.

The boys spent the rest of the evening dropping down onto unsuspecting celebrities and running away giggling. Mariah Carey fainted, Sting jumped into his wife’s arms and Jamie Foxx wept hysterically. Obatma handed Foxx chocolate-covered mosquitoes to make amends, which the actor at first didn’t understand, then finally accepted.

The three were later spotted hiding in the lap of the Lincoln Memorial pelting passerbys with snowballs.

NEW YORK, NY – The View’s resident Republican was snubbed by the White House, and she isn’t going down without a fight!

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is one of four female hosts of ABC’s “The View”. Previously a contestant on “Survivor: The Australian Outback”, Hasselbeck fought her way onto the daytime talk show to become the conservative voice.

Yet after spending the past year heavily lobbying for the GOP and the McCain-Palin campaign, Hasselbeck was not invited to any of the White House’s Christmas parties. Hasselbeck took it to the stage and lashed out in a big way.

Hasselbeck fumed, “I did more than enough for the Republican Party this year and this is the thanks I get? Well let me tell you something! I didn’t go all the way to Australia to not learn something.”

She then whipped out a George W. Bush voodoo doll and attempted to curse it, which merely consisted of her shouting “Curse! Curse! Curse!” and sticking a pin in its behind. Hasselbeck pointed into the camera and snarled, “Now I expect an invitation by tomorrow or this doll’s getting hurt!”

It appears Hasselbeck confused Australian Aboriginal traditions with American voodoo, but the effect was still the same. She received a phone call immediately following the broadcast, with Laura Bush apologizing profusely while President Bush yelped in pain in the background.

Whoopi Goldberg is now planning on using the same tactic for President-Elect Barack Obama’s inauguration ball.