PATERSON, NJ – Chris Christie and Barack Obama have inked a deal to play Abbott & Costello in a remake of a classic film – Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein.

NORWALK, CT – Sean Penn has come to the rescue again! He is helping victims of Hurricane Irene.

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ – Snooki was on the boardwalk when Irene hit. She was blown away!

NEW YORK – Mayor Bloomberg told New Yorkers that anyone looting during Hurricane Irene will be put in internment camps in upstate New York.

NEW YORK – Meteorologists are predicting that Hurricane Irene will sink Manhattan Island.

How to Contact the Space People is a must have for all E.T. enthusiasts.

COLUMBUS, OH – Ted Williams, a homeless man from Cleveland with a golden radio voice, was hired by the Today Show!

Unearthly beer bottles scattered on the floor suggest that the aliens had been flying inebriated