TULSA, OK —  Congress has just greenlit horse slaughterhouses.  Horse meat will be on shelves across American within two weeks.

Horses can now legally be  butchered in the U.S. for human consumption.  Congress enthusiastically lifted a 5-year-old ban on funding horse meat inspections,which allows slaughterhouses to get up and running as soon as possible.

“We want horse meat on everyone’s dinner table for the holidays,” said Tyler Knox, a horse slaughterhouse expert from San Antonio, Texas.  ”There’s nothing as tasty as fresh horse meat.”

President Obama is reportedly looking forward to eat a plate of lean horse rib for a State Dinner to be held on December 15th.  ”It’s about time we ate horses in this country,” said a source close to a White House chef.  ”Horse and potatoes.  That’s the All-America meal, right there.”

Slaughter opponents pushed a measure cutting off funding for horse meat inspections through Congress in 2006 after other efforts to pass outright bans on horse slaughter failed in previous years. Congress lifted the ban in a spending bill President Barack Obama signed into law Nov. 18 to keep the government afloat until mid-December.

The USDA issued a statement  saying there are no slaughterhouses in the U.S. that butcher horses for human consumption now, but when they do open, they will\ conduct inspections to make sure federal laws were being followed. USDA spokesman Chuck Griffin declined to answer questions beyond what was in the statement.  But he went on to say that  he was a lover of horse liver.

The last U.S. slaughterhouse that butchered horses closed in 2007 in Illinois, and animal welfare activists warned of massive public outcry in any town where a slaughterhouse will open.

Slaughterhouses are scheduled to open in Oklahoma, Texas, Kansas, Nebraska and in one county in New Jersey.   Elmer Pacamando, president and  of The Humane Society of the United States. “Local opposition will emerge and you’ll have tremendous controversy over slaughtering Trigger and Mr. Ed.”

But pro-slaughter activists say the ban had unintended consequences, including an increase in neglect and the abandonment of horses, and that they are scrambling to get dozens of plants going — in Wyoming, North Dakota, Nebraska and Missouri.

Sen. Max Baucus, D-Mont., said the poor economy has resulted in “sad cases” of horse abandonment and neglect and lifting the ban will give Americans a shot at regaining lost jobs and making sure sick horses aren’t abandoned or mistreated.  He reportedly added,  ”And horse meat gives you a lot of energy.  It’s good for you.  Montana horse meat is the best.”

Giddyup!

HOLLYWOOD – Kim Kardashian got engaged to Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets.  She’s moving to Jersey!

Kim Kardashian, who was engaged to Reggie Bush last year,  walked into her Beverly Hills home on May 18. Her boyfriend of six months, New Jersey Nets Forward Kris Humphries was waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

Kim Kardashian reportedly said, “Get down on both knees.”  Humphries did, then he barked like a dog and she said, “Yes, but keep barking.”

“I didn’t expect this at all,” Kardashian, 30, told WWN in an exclusive interview of the romantic, surprise proposal. “I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, especially without cameras rolling.  I can’t believe he didn’t call my producers.”

After years of telling fans how much she wanted to get married, reality star Kim Kardashian is engaged.  Her fans are ecstatic.  “I cant’ wait until the wedding!” said loyal fan, Sandy Williams of Kansas.   “It’s our royal wedding!”

Reggie Bush wasn’t happy.  But Kim went over to his house and tried to smooth things over.  They had fun:

Humphries presented his famous fiancé with a 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz ring.
“I just knew I wanted it to be big,” Humphries said.   Humphries told WWN that Kim told him that he was the biggest man she’d ever been with.  I’m much, much bigger than Reggie Bush.  No comparison.”

Kim was upset that Kris didn’t throw a big celebratory dinner.  “Kris really didn’t want a big celebration, but he had jokingly told my mom he’d be fine if there were mini-horses there,” Kardashian said.

“Later that night at the party, my mom brought out two mini-horses, covered in glitter, for us! It was hysterical.”  The Kardashians dressed the horses in pink dresses and glitter and then and shot them with BB guns – just for fun.  Cameras were rolling.

The BIG news is the Kim will be moving to New Jersey and joining the cast of Jersey Shore.

The happy couple is busy planning their wedding and their first porn video that will be “accidentally” released in September.  Awwwww…WWN wishes them luck!

OHIO – Eight gay horses were killed yesterday.  Authorities suspect arson in the barn burning.

Eight gay horses – one just a week old and another ready to give birth – died in a raging barn fire in Ohio that lawmen think was set because of hatred for gays of all kinds.

Brad Milborn of McConnelsville said an orange glow outside his home on Easter night drew him to the horror.

“I ran out there, but the doors of my barn wouldn’t open and suddenly, flames were shooting up through the roof. That barn was gone in five minutes,” he told the Zanesville Times Recorder.

The flames were so hot a tractor inside the barn melted.

Still visible on the remains of the gutted barn’s walls Tuesday were spray-painted epithets such as “horse f-gs are freaks” and “burn in horse hell,” the newspaper reported.

Because Milborn is also gay and fire marshals determined the blaze was arson, the scrawlings were enough for authorities to launch an investigation into whether a hate crime had been committed.

The value of the horses was said to be in hundreds of thousands of dollars but Milborn, who owns an insurance company in the tiny village in southeastern Ohio, was hurt far more by the loss of Elvis, Barney, Love, Bella and Ethel, Floyd and Princess and her week-old foal, Buddy.

“The barn I can rebuild, but the bond I had with those horses can’t be replaced,” said Milborn.

“Whoever did this had to walk right by all those horses, including the baby, and didn’t care that they were killing a gentle, loving animal,” he told the newspaper.

“I just don’t understand someone wanting to kill innocent animals. It’s like killing a child.”

Of the messages on the barn, Whitehouse could only shake his head and say, “They were hateful,”

A reward of $5,000,sponsored by the Ohio FAIR Plan Underwriting Association, was put up Tuesday in hopes it will bring information leading to whoever set the barn ablaze.

SYDNEY – Horses wearing hair extensions? Is this the new fashion fad to take the equine world by storm?

Julian Wolkenstein, an Australian advertising photographer, decided to take some time to work on a fun personal project. “The idea for these images came from a discussion with a friend who said, ‘Hey wouldn’t it be fun to shoot horses with big hair?’,” said Sydney-born Wolkenstein, 36.

Wolkenstein worked with hair-stylist Acacio da Silva to create and attach the hair extensions to the horses’ manes. “Each horse took around four hours to groom, with hair extensions being added by Acacio, and then when they were presented in front of the camera’s and lights they would shake their heads, give a neigh and then ruffle up their hair,” said Julian.

“The horses loved the grooming. The lights and camera, well, they were less taken with that.”

“Apart from casting horses and preparation work which took a few months, each horse took a full day to shoot.”

Wolkenstein’s next project also involves hair, of a different sort: beards. You can check out more of his work at http://www.julianwolkenstein.com/