REMINDER – On November 9th, the U.S. Government is testing its Emergency Alien Alert System to prepare for the upcoming alien attack!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The government will be using electronic tattoos to monitor “suspicious” citizens.

Check out this Taiwanese animation about the TSA and their plans to “touch your junk”.

WASHINGTON – The TSA announced that they will be selling naked body scans of passengers on EBay to help pay off the national debt.

WASHINGTON – Janet Napolitano announced today that, due to increased threats, all airline passengers will be strip-searched.

BOSTON – The same UFO that was seen over Virginia two days ago was seen over Boston last night!

NEW YORK – A Greenland ice chunk four times the size of Manhattan has broken off and is headed… for Manhattan!

My America, the America I know and love has been in a coma. For too long it has been asleep at the wheel… the wheel of a foreign-made car. It’s time to wake up and tell the rest of the world to GET OFF OUR LAWN!!!

U.S. put on terror alert!

“We’ve hired 25 young, beautiful women willing to remove all their clothing and station themselves at strategic points” explained San Francisco Police Officer Bruce Onder.