Time was, Earth Day was just for dirty crazy hippies. You could stay away from it if you just figured out where the bad smell was coming from, then went the other way.

I’m as frustrated as a pygmy at a Knicks game! Those damn hippies told us pollution was bad. They made us stop littering – which took the fun out of family car trips!

I’m madder than a hippie chick who’s run out of hemp tampons!

I’m madder than Ben Franklin with a busted kite!