On May 5, 2012 the world will change as we know it.

The moon will be passing by for its closest visit in the past 790 years. Not only will the moon be passing by at a range of just under 225,000 miles but it will also be full.

Richard Nolle, certified professional astronomer and webmaster of astropro.com, is warning the masses that beginning on May 5 and continuing through May 11 there will be a SuperMoon risk window for the entire planet.

Nolle warns that during the SuperMoon risk window the world should expect several magnitude 5+ earthquakes, countless tsunamis, constant volcanic eruptions and werewolves to run wild. Nolle has teamed up with leading expert on the paranormal and supernatural, Rosemay Ellen Guiley in order to discover the connection between the SuperMoon and werewolves.

“Since the moon will be so close to earth, many new werewolves will come to life as the proximity of the moon to the earth affects the transformation of many werewolves,” explained Guiley, “Some werewolves never morph due to the normal distance between the earth and the moon. But the distance during this SuperMoon is of great concern.”

Twilight fans are pooping their pants with excitement over the sheer possibility that they might catch a glimpse of Jacob Black.

“Jacob is so hot!!,” said Giselle Ramirez, a teenage Hawaiian resident, “I don’t care if lava is coming right at me. If there is a chance that I can see Jacob, I’ll let my feet burn off.”

Some scientists believe that the recent volcanic eruptions in Hawaii are a result of the moon gradually passing by closer and closer leading up to the SuperMoon risk window. Nolle explains that this activity is a result of the lesser SuperMoon risk window that is currently taking place. There is grave concern for the well being of the inhabitants of Hawaii as the SuperMoon approaches. As a preventative measure, the U.S. is now initiating mandatory evacuation procedures for all of the Hawaiian Islands in order to prevent a catastrophe. A voluntary evacuation will be put into effect for southern California starting Wednesday of next week.

After you read this article you should immediately run to your closest supermarket and buy all the canned food, bottled water, batteries and silver bullets that you can get your hands on. This is going to be an apocalypse and it is a going to be a wolf dog eat wolf dog world so be prepared for the worst.

HOLLYWOOD – Rumors have been confirmed.  Megan Fox is pregnant AND… she’s still a man!

Megan Fox is pregnant, according to reports.

The 25-year-old actress is said to be expecting her first child with husband Brian Austin Green and the couple are thrilled with the happy news.  This is incredible news, especially because Megan is a man.  READ THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORT HERE.

A source told WWN: “It’s a miracle. I don’t know how she did it, but she’s pregnant.”

Fox isn’t the first man to give birth. Several transgender and transconfused men have given birth in the last three years – both in the U.S. and England.

Megan and Brian, 38, had kept the news to just close family and friends something they have found difficult because they are so excited about the baby.

The source added: “It’s still early, so they are only telling close friends and family members.”

The Friends with Kids star has already had lots of parenting practice as she is stepmother to Brian’s nine-year-old son Kassius, his child with actress Vanessa Marcil.

Did President Obama fake his birth certificate?  There are facts about his birth certificate circulating on the internet that may prove it was.

Here are just some of the facts swirling around the internet that raise doubts about the authenticity of the Obama’s birth certificate:

1. Back in 1961 people of color were called ‘Negroes.’ So how can the Obama ‘birth certificate’ state he is ‘African-American’  when the term wasn’t even used at that time?

2. The birth certificate that the White House released lists Obama’s birth as August 4, 1961. It also lists Barack Hussein Obama as his father. No big deal, right? At the time of Obama’s birth, it also shows that his father is aged 25 years old, and that Obama’s father was born in ” Kenya , East Africa “.

This wouldn’t seem like anything of concern, except the fact that Kenya did not even exist until 1963, two whole years after Obama’s birth, and 27 years after his father’s birth. How could Obama’s father have been born in a country that did not yet exist? Up and until Kenya was formed in 1963,  it was known as the ” British East Africa Protectorate.”

3. On the birth certificate released by the White House, the listed place of birth is “Kapi’olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital “.
This cannot be, because the hospital(s) in question in 1961 were called “KauiKeolani Children’s Hospital” and “Kapi’olani Maternity Home”, respectively. The name did not change to Kapi’olani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital until 1978, when these two hospitals merged. How can this particular name of the hospital be on a birth certificate dated 1961 if this name had not yet been applied to it until 1978?

Resources:

http://www.kapiolani.org/women-and-children/about-us/default.aspx
Post-colonial history (from Wikipedia)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Kenya
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenya

Looks like it wasn’t a happy Christmas for Russell Brand.  Katy Perry wants out of their marriage.

The feuding couple spent Christmas 7,000 miles apart.  Katy Perry was frolicking in the beautiful ocean water in Hawaii, Russell Brand was sulking in his man cave in London.

They have been married since October of 2010.

The celebrity couple  reportedly “had a huge fight” on the night before Christmas, a source told WWN.  It was reported: “She was like, ‘F–k you. I’m going to do my own thing.”  And Russell replied, “Fine, f–k you too.’ ”  Katy reportedly responded after that, “you’re a F–king a**hole wanker,” and he replied “You’re a f–king b*tch, a f–king fake blonde b*tch.”

A holly jolly Christmas for the Perry-Brand family!

Perry, initially had plans of taking her family for a trip to visit Brand’s London hometown, but after the big blowup, the pop star opted to jet to Hawaii with friends instead.  Meanwhile, Brand, spent the Christmas holiday at a Cornwall pub before heading to friend David Baddiel’s charity swim.

Russell did not seem happy:

But Katy was having a blast in the surf of Hawaii:

She was keeping things together:

“They haven’t split up just yet, but Katy’s mind is made up,” our source said. “The fighting is getting worse and worse.  Russell is very violatile.”  One of the main reasons Perry and Brand may be at odds as of late comes down to family.  “Katy doesn’t think Russell respects her parents’ Christian beliefs or her friends,” another source added.

Brand reportedly wanted Katy to become an atheist.

Some sources said that this latest news was just another rumor, but WWN has confirmed with friends close to friends of Katy that it is true.  The marriage is over.

Brand is no longer wearing his wedding ring.

But luckily he has some friends to comfort him in his time of need:

Firework… no more.

WASHINGTON -  The White House announced that Michelle Obama is pregnant with the couple’s third child.

“Michelle Obama is pregnant,”  White House sources said. White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, told WWN he would not confirm or deny the rumor.   But WWN has confirmed that Michelle Obama is about two months into her pregnancy and the President and First Lady expect to have the baby sometime in late May, 2012.

There was a great deal of mystery about the whereabouts of the President and First Lady this summer.   There were many rumors about where they might be (Martha’s Vineyard, Chicago, Kenya)-  but now we know.  The happy couple was spending quality time together in the White House, making a new baby.

The last time a baby was born in the White House was Patrick Bouvier Kennedy.  He was born on August 7, 1963 and only lived two days. Patrick was the youngest child of President John F. Kennedy and First Lady Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy and brother to Caroline Kennedy and John F. Kennedy Jr.

The President and First Lady are “ecstatic” about the news of a new baby.    Michelle Obama, 48,  and Barack Obama, 50,  waited almost seven years before having children.  Their first daughter, Malia Ann Obama was born on July 4, 1999 and Natasha (often called “Sasha”)was born two years later on June 10, 2001.

It is too early to determine if the baby is a boy or a girl, but William Daley, the President’s Chief of Staff, reportedly said that the President is hoping they have a boy.  “I’d love to see Barack Jr. in the White House some day,” he reportedly said.

President Obama is hoping the baby will spend it’s first four years of life in the White House.  He has also created a Baby Czar to handle the preparations for the Baby Shower and Baby Party.

HONOLULU —  A California man got sucked into a Maui blow hole and died.

Witnesses say the tourist was dancing around and frolicking in the sprays of water moments before a wave knocked him down.

Rocco Piganelli, of La Jolla, Calif., said he stared in horror as he watched a large wave push the tourist into the hole off Nakalele Point on Saturday afternoon. The man popped up briefly with the next wave, then disappeared.

“We all stared for like 30 seconds and then I realized — he’s gone. He’s down there,” Piganelli said in a telephone interview Wednesday. “I felt like I was going to throw up.”

Piganelli, a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines, readied himself to attempt to resuscitate the man, fully expecting him eventually surface. But the man never did.

“The girl who was with him let out this horrifying scream,” he said.

He and other tourists scrambled over a cliff to look for the man out in the ocean as powerful waves crashed violently against sharp rocks.

“In my heart, I kind of knew he wasn’t coming out,” Piganelli said. “I wanted to give him hope because it was all I could do.”

e blowhole, which is featured in several travel websites, was created by pounding surf that undercut and wore away a lava shelf. Every wave pushes water and air through the hole, creating an eruption similar to a geyser. The Halona Blowhole on Oahu is another popular tourist attraction.

An aerial and sea search for David Potts, 44, of San Anselmo, was called off Monday.

Maui police Lt. Wayne Ibarra said rough waters on the northern side of Maui and poor visibility complicated the search.

Moments before Potts was washed away, Piganelli snapped a photograph of his daughter and friends. A giant spray of water is captured high above the three girls standing in their bikinis. A closer look at the photo, obtained by AP, shows a man in shorts standing next to the blow hole behind the curtain of water. Piganelli identifies the man as the victim.

Maui police said it had not seen the photo and could not immediately verify if the man was Potts.

Erica Meyer, whose family is vacationing with Piganelli’s family, recalled thinking that it was foolish for the man to be mere inches from the blow hole’s opening.

“We’re watching it thinking it’s crazy these guys are doing that,” she told the AP.

Potts stood in front of the blow hole with his back to the ocean when the wave hit, Meyer said. “It was very, very fast, within a matter of seconds.”

That’s when chaos and screaming ensued. Someone called 911. Bystanders tried to prevent the girlfriend’s brother from jumping in to find Potts.

“It was just horrific,” Meyer said. “That’s the only way to describe the scene.”

Jennifer Kelleher, AP

After years of  digging by the world’s top private investigators, they have determined conclusively where Barack Obama was born:  Mars!

It was announced to today that Jerome Corsi is publishing his latest “Swift Boat” boat, entitled, “WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE? The Case that Barack Obama is not Eligible to be President.”

Jerome Corsi is the man who torpedoed John Kerry’s presidential dreams with SWIFT BOAT (his first book) and has gone underground and is holding his new findings a secret.

BUT, WWN has insiders in the Corsi camp and we’ve learned EXCLUSIVELY that the BIG secret that will be revealed in the book:  Barack Obama was born on Mars.

“It’s utterly devastating,” reveals a source close to the publisher. “Obama may learn things he didn’t even know about himself.  Like the fact that he was born on Mars and brought to Earth by helpful aliens from Planet Zeeba!”

Many Republicans have long suspected that President Obama was not born on this planet.  “He’s got some extraterrestrial type powers,” said John Boehner, Speaker of the House, “that’s how he got so many to vote for him, he put some kind of Zeeba mind meld on everybody.”

Corsi proves that there is no record of Obama being born anywhere on this planet and proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Obama was born on Mars.

The president’s attorneys are scrambling to stop the publication of the book.  “The President was born on Earth.  The people of the country take him at  his word.  He IS an earthling,” said Jay Carney, The White House Press Secretary.

There is another startling revelation in the book.  Not only was President Obama born on Mars… so was Donald Trump. They are Martian brothers!

NEW YORK -  Donald Trump’s birth certificate is a fake.  He was actually born in Kenya!

Donald Trump has appeared on a number of shows in the last week – including The View and The O’Reilly Factor – to question whether Barack Obama has a birth certificate or not.

The Donald then produced his own birth certificate, but under close examination it turned out to be a fake.  WWN investigated the birth of Trump.

“It’s amazing, but after researching his birth, we learned he was born in Nairobi, Kenya,” said New York’s famous detective, Bo Dietl.  “Donald’s father,  Donald John Trump, was in Nairobi making real estate deals, when his wife, Mary Anne, gave birth to Donald, Jr. on June 14, 1946.

Trump insiders say that this is the main reason he is pushing to prove that Obama was not born in Hawaii – he wants to share a common heritage with Obama!

WWN learned that Trump has a wife, Abasi, and two children – Doma and Chiku – in Nairobi.  Here’s Trump and Abasi:

This, of course, means that Trump can not run for President in 2012.

HAWAII – The Kilauea Volcano erupted on Sunday shooting up to 365 feet in the air.The Hawaiian Volcano Observatory said the fissure eruption was spotted shortly after the floor at the Pu’u O’o crater collapsed around 5 p.m. Saturday. It occurred along the middle of Kilauea’s east rift zone, about 2 miles west of Pu’u O’o.

“As a volcanologist, this is what we do. These are the moments we wait for,” volcanologist Janet Babb told KHON2. “It is exciting to see an eruption begin particularly if you can see it from the very start.”

Kilauea has been in constant eruption since Jan. 3, 1983.

At the summit, lava receded rapidly late Saturday but seemed to slow Sunday. There were also about 150 small earthquakes were recorded within Kilauea in the past 24 hours.

Scientists said areas near the vent could erupt or collapse without warning, posing a threat to visitors or hikers to the area. Also potentially lethal concentrations of sulfer dioxide gas could be present within about a half-mile downwind of vent areas.

Because of the latest activity, the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park has closed Chain of Craters Road and all east rift zone and coastal trails. Kulanaokuaiki campground was also closed until further notice.

Babb told the Hawaii Tribune-Herald that the fissure has expanded to about 535 yards long and that scientists were hiking into the remote area to observe the fissure and take readings.

Thousands of homes are under threat.

LOS ANGELES – President Obama stars in three episodes of the CBS remake of Hawaii Five-O.

It was  revealed today that President Obama spent a few days of his vacation shooting three episodes of the new CBS drama , Hawaii Five-O – a remake of the popular hour-long drama that ran from 1968-1980  The shows producers – Alex Kurtzman,  Roberto Orci and Peter Lenkov – thought that President Obama was a natural for the show.

WWN learned, however, that it wasn’t the producers who approached Obama.   It turns out that President Obama was incessantly calling them wanting to be on the show.  “Hawaii Five-O was the biggest show on TV when I was a kid.  I watched it as much as I could, and I must say that it had a significant impact on my personal development.”

Obama suggested they rename the show “Hawaii Five-Obama.”  CBS executives had to turn down Obama’s request, which made Katie Couric upset, “If he wants the show to be called Hawaii Five-Obama just name the damn show Hawaii Five-Obama!”

Of course, Birthers immediately protested Obama appearing on the show.  “It should be called Kenya Five-O.  Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii,” said leading birther nutcase Orly Taintz.  The birthers plan to boycott CBS, which actually was welcome news to CBS.

CBS has slotted in the new version of Hawaii for 10 p.m. (Eastern and Pacific) on Mondays, starting on Sept. 20. The revived “Hawaii Five-0”— with a zero in place of the “O,” perhaps to signal it is version 2.0 — is one of five new series that CBS plans for the 2010-11 season.  When Obama learned that the “O” was replaced with a zero, President Obama went ballistic.  “I’m an O, not a zero!”   Before Katie Couric could say anything they changed it back to an “O.”

In the first episode of the season, Obama is brought in because Vice President Joe Biden goes missing while vacationing on Hawaii. President Obama roughs up a number of thugs on Oahu trying to get to the bottom of the kidnapping, but at the end of the episode it turns out that Biden just fell asleep in a hammock on the beach.

Here’s the theme song of the original show.  Can’t you see Obama on the show?  Yeah, you can…