PALO ALTO, CA – A new study out of Stanford University reveals that the British accent is no longer considered a positive trait for attracting sexual partners.

LONDON – The Royal Family made a big deal about Diana Spencer being a virgin, but they don’t mind that Kate Middleton is not a virgin.

LONDON – Due to arctic conditions and a massive blizzard – Great Britain has canceled Christmas.

LONDON – Prince William is engaged to his girlfriend, Kate Middleton. They plan to marry next summer and move to the United States.

LONDON – Britain’s defence ministry has just released declassified UFO files to the general public.

I’m pig biting mad about Teddy Kennedy getting knighted by the Queen! Can you believe it? Now we’ll have to call that bloated old fraud “Sir”! “Sir Slab of Lard,” maybe.

NEW DELHI, INDIA – India recently announced that it would launch its first manned mission to the moon in the coming months. Many questioned why India would spend billions of dollars during a world economic crisis on interplanetary space travel.