BREAKING – Due to the uproar caused by announcing its shutdown on March 15, Facebook has a new plan – charging users!

PALO ALTO – Facebook continues to deny rumors it is shutting down on March 15th of 2012. WWN, however, has confirmed that it is true.

WWN Financial News – Groupon Deal of the Day – 50% off IPO shares!

With March 15th approaching and the threat of Facebook shutting down, the U.S. decided to bailout Facebook!

NEW YORK – In a ruse to cover-up the fact that Facebook is shutting down, Goldman Sachs announced that U.S. citizens are banned from investing in Facebook.

WWN FINANCIAL NEWS – A Goldman Sachs Group partner was hospitalized in a bizarre trading accident.

NEW YORK – Wall Street bonuses for 2010 will larger than any year in its history.

All these bailouts and whatnot have got me as mixed up as a high-class hooker at a Motel 6!