I’m madder than a caveman who’s allergic to dinosaurs!Obama’s cult followers aren’t satisfied at getting him elected. Now they want it illegal to criticize him!

Some bunch of professional whiners (I mean, “community organizers”) are getting big corporations to pull their ads off the Glenn Beck TV show.

Now I’ve said it before: I’m pretty mad at Glenn Beck getting rich imitating ME, the great Ed Anger. It’s bad enough he cries like a baby with a boil on its butt, but he belongs to some crazy pretend religion with its own magic underwear.

Glenn Beck’s got so many crazy theories about what’s wrong with America, I’m surprised he hasn’t started doing his show from a high up window ledge.

But this is still a more or less free country, so he has a right to say all the nutty stuff he wants!

Funny thing: the same lefties who think giant, all powerful corporations run the world can get those same corporations to jump to their tune — just by sending them a couple of angry letters!

I also like how these lefties always boycott companies they don’t even use in the first place! If poor people can’t afford insurance anyhow, how can they “boycott” Progressive and Geico?! And everybody knows poor people eat government cheese, not Sargento!

So now only two commercials run on Glenn Beck: jailbird G. Gordon Liddy telling you to buy gold — then another guy who probably SHOULD be in jail, telling you to mail in the gold you just bought!

It’s enough to start Glenn Beck drinking again, and if that happens, I don’t think this great nation will survive!

So start writing your own angry letters, America, and tell Geico where they can stick that little green lizard!

WASHINGTON, DC – Charles Freeman has withdrawn from consideration as National Intelligence Chair.  Another appointee is claimed by the Obama Curse.

Freeman has faced great opposition to being considered as Chairman of the National Intelligence Committee, usually in regards to his criticism of Israel’s policies.  However it wasn’t until a recent string of bad luck-a flat tire, his cat ran away, and his grandmother absconded to Tahiti with the bulk of his checking account-that he decided to withdraw his consideration for the position.

Since December nearly a dozen major and minor Obama appointees have backed out from their assignments, believing their positions to have a curse on them.  Poor luck and bad publicity have befallen many of those picked for appointment by President Obama.

Ever since Bill Richardson refused to shake the hand of an old gypsy woman in New Haven, Connecticut, the position has been said to have a curse on it.  At first believed to only be the Treasury Secretary, the curse has since spread to many of Obama’s cabinet and political appointee positions.

A spokesperson for Richardson said “He never refused to shake anyone’s hand.  There were a lot of people there that day, and he just didn’t have time for everyone.”

Fox News has held a weekly effigy burning in the courtyard of their headquarters since the story broke.  Despite their best efforts to fuel the curse, most agree the effigies accomplish nothing except making them feel better.  Glen Beck has several administration voodoo dolls: Rahm Emanuel, Tim Geithner, and Hillary Clinton to name a few, using Internet flash polls to determine where to put the pins.

Whether the curse will need to be lifted or eventually wear off is still unknown in Washington.  Several mystics and Houdon’s have been contacted by the White House but no official statement has been given yet.

Charles “Chas” Freeman is looking forward to a quieter life, and putting this curse business behind him.