PORT SAINT LUCIE, FL – Gangs are springing up in Wal-Marts around the country, but shoppers continue to risk it in search of good deals.

ATLANTA, GA – Following a trip to Australia where Anderson Cooper taped a shark special, he was treated to a surprise guest in the studio.

ATLANTA, GA – Following four extra weeks of campaigning, Democratic challenger, Jim Martin lost by an impressive 15 percent.

JEKYLL ISLAND, GA – A terrifying creature with the head of a man and the scaly body of an alligator was seen making its way along Georgia’s Jekyll Island – and frightened scientists are pleading with citizens to stay away!

ATHENS, GA – Kim Jong Il has been sighted at a record store in Athens, Georgia.

Over the weekend North Korea’s communist dictator was seen perusing used records at Wuxtry, the same store where the band R.E.M. was formed.

“Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a cat caught in a blender. In the midst of all that shrieking, I could’ve sworn I heard my name.”