FOURTH OF JULY ALIEN INVASION

WASHINGTON, DC – Alien warriors for Planet Gootan planned to attack Earth today, but the invasion has been averted – thanks to President Obama’s secret negotiations!

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BILL CLINTON TO INTRODUCE MITT ROMNEY

Bill Clinton has accepted an invitation to introduce Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention this evening.

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GEORGE W. BUSH TO REPLACE REGIS PHILBIN

NEW YORK/CRAWFORD, TX – George W. Bush will be replacing Regis Philbin as co-host on his popular ABC talk show.

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CHELSEA CLINTON WEDDING GUEST LIST

WWN EXCLUSIVE –  Bat Boy, Bigfoot, and Bush are all on the guest list for Chelsea Clinton’s wedding in Rhinebeck, New York on July 31.

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BUSH: "I DID NOT SELL MY SOUL"

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VANCOUVER – At a Canadian luncheon last week, former President Bush said, “I did not sell my soul.”  Satan has disputed his statement.

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