TORONTO -  Pedro and Buddy – two gay penguins – were tossed out of the Toronto Zoo, let loose on the streets.

Zoologists at the Toronto Zoo first tried to separate the “gay” penguin couple at the Toronto Zoo but that  caused a commotion both among zoologists and the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

But in the middle of the night, several anti-gay-penguin fanatics (AGPeFs) snuck into the penguin exhibit – snagged Pedro and Buddy and threw them – separately – onto the street.

Luckily, Pedro and Buddy found each other behind an Italian restaurant and now… they are looking for a new home, a place that doesn’t discriminate against gays.

Buddy and Pedro have not only been inseparable, but started mating several years ago. Bred in captivity, 10-year-old Pedro and Buddy, 20, came to Toronto from zoos in the U.S. as part of a popular African penguin exhibit which opened at the zoo in May, and formed a connection as members of a “bachelor flock“.

“It’s a complicated issue, but they seem to be in a loving and committed relationship,” said Sal Torizinni, chair of the Toronto zoo board.

Zoo officials, who watched the two penguins mate, immediately tried to separate the birds from each other and pair them with females for breeding, as African penguins are an endangered species.

But Pedro and Buddy don’t like girls.

Same-sex companionship among penguins is actually quite common. In 2009, Z and Vielpunkt, two male Humboldt penguins at Germany’s Bremerhaven Zoo, became proud parents of a healthy penguin chick hatched from an egg fertilized by another penguin couple. Another such pair at China’s Polarland Zoo was even given a wedding celebration.

And, as LiveScience reports, homosexuality has been documented in more than 450 species of vertebrates, “signaling that sexual preference is biologically determined in animals.”

Watch a video about Pedro and Buddy.  This was taken right before they were tossed out on the streets:

HOLLYWOOD – Will Smith is separating from his wife Jada Pinkett Smith so he can be with his “true love” – Madonna.

Will and Jada have been married for 13 years now and have two children together, Jaden and Willow.  They have long been considered the example of a Hollywood couple that can withstand fame and fortune and remain true to each other.

But, then came Madonna.

She sang “Crazy for You” to Smith at a private concert in London.  Then he got on the stage and sang to her – “Get Jiggy With It.”

“Will has been close to Madonna since the 80s,” said a source close to Smith.  “He’s always been in love with her and recently on a trip to London, the two became… closer.”  It’s a “Summertime” romance.

Madonna plans to move to Hollywood – with her children – to live with Smith in a new Bel Air mansion that Smith has purchased for $15 million. Smith will, literally, be the “Prince of Bel Air” and Madonna will be his Princess.

There have been rumors that Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith both have gay lovers, but WWN has confirmed the stories to be false.

Jada and Will  met when Pinkett auditioned for “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air,” and married on December 31st, 1997. They have two children together, budding pop stars Jaden and Willow, and Pinkett is the step mother of Smith’s older son from a previous marriage, Trey.

In 2008, Smith spoke with Ellen DeGeneres about his marriage, which he implied would last forever.

“What I found is divorce just can’t be an option,” he said. “It’s really that simple. And I think that’s the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options.”

Here’s the family in happier times – pre-Madonna:

NEW YORK – Sesame Street is going to have a gay wedding for Bert and Ernie.

Now that New York State has legalized same sex marriage, Sesame Street decided it is time for Bert and Ernie to admit that they are gay and tie the knot.

An organization called “Change.org” proposed the idea.

At first Sesame Street denied that they would be holding the wedding, but this morning sources closes to people on “the street” say that the wedding “is going down.”

“They’re keeping it quiet,” said Cookie Monster.  “They were going to have this big bash, but now it’s just gonna be a small thing.  It’s still gonna be hip.  And I talked them into passing on the cake and going with cookies.”

Cookie Monster took at jab at Michelle Obama, “I hope she’s not invited. She’s been a real drag the last year, talking about vegetables and fruits.  Not cool.”

Viewers had wondered for a long time questions if the o the bosom buddies were, in fact, gay.

For decades the pair have shared a close friendship, a bedroom in a small apartment with separate beds.  (The duo even wear similar striped shirts.)

Sesame Street, however, publicly denies that they are gay. They issued this statement:

Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.

But, insiders say that they are, in fact, gay and that the wedding is going on.  “Sesame Street isn’t ready to out them. But they’ve been lovers forever,” said a source close to Big Bird.

The wedding will be private, but WWN has made an exclusive agreement with Elmo to provide details.

Here’s a video showing “proof” that Bert and Ernie are gay:

HOLLYWOOD – Miley Cyrus hinted over the weekend that she will marry her “dear friend,” Anna Oliver.

Miley Cyrus has added a seventh tattoo, this time choosing an equal sign to symbolize her support for gay rights, and her upcoming gay marriage to Anna Oliver.

“ALL LOVE is equal,” Cyrus said Friday via Twitter, including a picture of her new ink:

But not all who love Miley were treated equally by one another in the wake of Cyrus’ reply to a follower who disagreed: “Where does it say in the bible to judge others? Oh right. It doesn’t. GOD is the only judge honey,” said the 18-year-old actress and singer, who has previously tweeted in favor of gay-marriage rights..

The follower, @MileyCyrusLuver, explained the objection by citing another Bible verse, then expressed surprise about another important matter: “1 Corinthians 6:9-11 explains why I don’t support it. And omg I can’t believe you replied to me!!”

But Cyrus’ had this reply: “Dude everyone lay off @MileyCyrusLuver. Love u! Everyone is entitled 2 opinions! ‘if u don’t stand 4 something you’ll fall for anything.’ “

Insiders close to Cyrus say that Miley plans on marrying Anna Oliver next June in Hawaii.

Still, on Sunday @MileyCyrusLuver was still fielding attack tweets, even after saying Saturday, “For the record!! @MileyCyrus DIDN’T make me cry. She was just replying back. Don’t blame her. What made me cry was the death threats.”

Miley has had gay lovers before.  Last year she dated this gal:

“Anna has been in love with Miley for years and she is looking forward to a long life with her.  They are already planning on adopting a baby,” said a source close to Oliver.

Billy Ray Cyrus is also happy.  “Hell, I’ve had the hots for Anna myself.  I’m happy for Miley.”

BERLIN – German doctors announced that they have found the cure for “gayness.”

German Catholic doctors announced that they can cure the sexual orientation of gays and lesbians with sugar pills — though only at their request, the group says. But the homo-homeopathy has been harshly criticized by members of its target community.

The Lesbian and Gay Federation in Germany (LSVD) is outraged. Following news reported this week by the online magazine Telepolis that the Union of Catholic Physicians (UCP) has been offering homeopathic “Therapy Options for Homosexuality” on their website, the advocacy organization called the suggestion an “insult,” and an “impertinence” that showed “a lack of respect for homosexuals and bisexuals.”

The religious association, which calls itself the “voice of the Catholic medical community,” writes on its website that while “homosexuality is not an illness,” a host of treatments are available to keep such “inclinations” at bay. Possibilities include “constitutional treatments with homeopathic tools … such as homeopathic dilutions like Platinum,” “psychotherapy,” and “religious counseling.” Among homeopathy’s controversial treatments are the prescription of “Globuli,” tiny pills that consisting mostly of sugar.

“We know about a number of people with homosexual feelings who find themselves in a spiritual and psychological emergency and suffer greatly,” UCP head Gero Winkelmann told SPIEGEL in a written statement. “If someone is unhappy, ill or feels they are in an emergency, they should be able to find options for help with us.”

But the doctor, who runs a private practice with an emphasis on homeopathy in the Bavarian town of Unterhaching, also stressed that the UCP website had not been recently updated, “because the issue is not particularly topical at the moment.”

As for the scientific basis of the treatments offered by the UCP, Winkelmann listed “medical-psychotherapeutic, philosophical and theological literature,” the “minority views of psychotherapists,” the “teachings of the Catholic church, the Holy Scripture,” and the “homeopathy of Samuel Hahnemann,” the German physician credited with creating the practice.

They used this book as a reference to launch their research:

But touting ineffective medication for nonexistent suffering is unacceptable, the LSVD said. “The offerings are dangerous,” said spokeswoman Renate Rampf. “They use the insecurities of homosexual or bisexual young people and their parents.” Such “laughable” therapeutic ministrations are problematic because they can be “destabilizing,” she said.

“All serious experts agree that sexual orientation is already evident in early childhood,” she added.

But Winkelmann defended the treatments, saying his organization’s intentions were not meant to “injure or pressure” anyone, but to express a “position and medical opinion” to interested parties.

The UCP website includes a testimonial from a southern German gay man who writes that he had been happy to find that the organization believed “that changing homosexual tendencies was possible” because finding a therapist to undertake such a task had been difficult. “Unfortunately the widespread opinion among psychotherapists is that homosexuality is inherent and unalterable,” he writes.

While the UCP says it does not represent official Catholic policies, the Church continues to grapple with its approach to homosexuality. Just last month Cologne Archbishop Joachim Meisner withdrew the religious teaching privileges of prominent publicist and pedagogue David Berger after he revealed his homosexuality and criticized the Catholic stance on the issue. The church declared that the teacher could “no longer credibly give Catholic religion lessons on behalf of the Church.”

Though Germany’s Protestants tend to take a more liberal approach to homosexuality, conservative members of the church also continue to raise opposition to gay-friendly policies. In 2009 some 30 pastors from the state of North Rhine-Westphalia wrote an open letter to condemn statements made by the church’s state president Alfred Buss. “The practice of homosexuality is not consistent with God’s creation,” said the letter to online news portal Der Westen. Those who discredit therapy for homosexuality deny people “who suffer from homosexual feelings the help to change,” the letter continued.

Meanwhile the World Health Organization (WHO) removed homosexuality from its International Code of Diseases on January 1, 1993. The move brought the “19th century to an end for gays and lesbians 90 years too late,” said the LSVD at the time. But perhaps they rejoiced too soon.

OHIO – Eight gay horses were killed yesterday.  Authorities suspect arson in the barn burning.

Eight gay horses – one just a week old and another ready to give birth – died in a raging barn fire in Ohio that lawmen think was set because of hatred for gays of all kinds.

Brad Milborn of McConnelsville said an orange glow outside his home on Easter night drew him to the horror.

“I ran out there, but the doors of my barn wouldn’t open and suddenly, flames were shooting up through the roof. That barn was gone in five minutes,” he told the Zanesville Times Recorder.

The flames were so hot a tractor inside the barn melted.

Still visible on the remains of the gutted barn’s walls Tuesday were spray-painted epithets such as “horse f-gs are freaks” and “burn in horse hell,” the newspaper reported.

Because Milborn is also gay and fire marshals determined the blaze was arson, the scrawlings were enough for authorities to launch an investigation into whether a hate crime had been committed.

The value of the horses was said to be in hundreds of thousands of dollars but Milborn, who owns an insurance company in the tiny village in southeastern Ohio, was hurt far more by the loss of Elvis, Barney, Love, Bella and Ethel, Floyd and Princess and her week-old foal, Buddy.

“The barn I can rebuild, but the bond I had with those horses can’t be replaced,” said Milborn.

“Whoever did this had to walk right by all those horses, including the baby, and didn’t care that they were killing a gentle, loving animal,” he told the newspaper.

“I just don’t understand someone wanting to kill innocent animals. It’s like killing a child.”

Of the messages on the barn, Whitehouse could only shake his head and say, “They were hateful,”

A reward of $5,000,sponsored by the Ohio FAIR Plan Underwriting Association, was put up Tuesday in hopes it will bring information leading to whoever set the barn ablaze.

OAK BROOK, IL – James A. Skinner, CEO of McDonald’s, served up a whopper when he announced that Ronald McDonald is gay.

“I am thrilled to announce that Ronald McDonald, the Chief Happiness Officer of McDonald land, is a homosexual,” said Skinner to a group of about 100 reporters and journalists outside the company’s Illinois headquarters. “He always was and he always will be.”

In a post announcement interview with the Weekly World News, Skinner said that the decision to “out” Ronald McDonald as a homosexual was a difficult one, though he felt it needed to be done.

“Revealing Ronald’s secret was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do,” said Skinner. “It weighed on my conscience for years. But now that the secret is out I feel like I can move on.”

Willard Scott, best known for his work on NBC’s Today Show, first created the Ronald McDonald character in 1963 for a local television commercial on WRC-TV, a TV station in Washington, D.C.

Scott said he saw Ronald McDonald as gay from the very beginning.

“When I first conceived of the idea for Ronald McDonald, I knew he was going to be gay,” said Scott. “You have to remember, though, that was back in the sixties, so the company would never let me go public with his sexuality.”

“But this is a different era,” added Scott. “I think people are much more accepting of homosexuality, and it’s about time that Ronald McDonald is outed for who he really is.”

Fans of Ronald McDonald have shown overwhelming support for the character’s recent “coming out.”

“I always thought he had a very feminine quality about him,” said Rosie Knopff, 40, of Weedsport, NY. “The curly red hair, the make up, the shapely figure – yeah, he’s definitely gay. I don’t know how I missed it.”

Skinner said he doesn’t think Ronald’s sexuality will stop people from visiting the restaurant.

“I don’t think a true McDonald’s fan would care whether or not Ronald was gay,” he said. “This is the 21st century. People are much more open-minded.”

Skinner has yet to comment on the sexuality of Grimace, Birdie, or the Fry Kids, though next week he plans to announce that the Hamburglar is a confirmed child-molester.

HOLLYWOOD – Rihanna had a lesbian affair with model, Natasha “Tajah” Burton.

A young Hollywood model named Natasha “Tajah” Burton has written  a tell-all book and in it, she describes in detail her lesbian relationship with Rihanna.

WWN was skeptical at first, but we have confirmed that Rihanna did, in fact, have a lesbian relationship with Tajah.

In an interview with Radar Online, Burton again refused to name names, but credited the mystery woman with inspiring her to write her memoir.

“Rihanna one of the reasons I started writing my book – she was that voice, that light into my life,” Burton said, adding that she wants to become a role model for homosexual youths of color. “Young black gays don’t have any positive role models to look up to. White kids have Ellen and Rosie O’Donnell, but black kids don’t have anyone. There is still so much homophobia in the African American community, and it is beyond tough to come out – when I did I was called all manner of names, I had guys throwing condoms at me in the street, I was called fa***t, carpet muncher, I was told I was going to hell.”

According to Burton, her book will also detail her relationships with “a very well known actress, a lot older, who also worked as a model” and a “well known female reality TV star.” A Low Down Dirty Shame is due for release in March.

Here’s a “Rihanna” excerpt from Natasha’s book (provided by Mediatakeout.com):

Rihanna hasn’t commented on the relationship, but her ex-lover Chris Brown has, “What the f*&k?!  She is not a lesbian. I should know.  And if she was a lesbian, than I would have had a threesome, but I didn’t have threesome, so she can’t be a lesbian.  And I’m not gay, either!”

Rihanna wrote this song for her lesbian lover, Natasha:

WASHINGTON -  The Obama Administration has banned the words “mother” and “father” on all official government documents.

The words “mother” and “father” will be removed from U.S. passport applications and replaced with gender neutral terminology, the State Department says.

“The words in the old form were ‘mother’ and ‘father,’” said Brenda Sprague, deputy assistant Secretary of State for Passport Services. “They are now ‘parent one’ and ‘parent two.’”

A statement on the State Department web site noted: “These improvements are being made to provide a gender neutral description of a child’s parents and in recognition of different types of families.” The statement didn’t note if it was for child applications only.

The State Department said the new passport applications, are available online starting on Monday, January 10.

Parent One, Parent Two, Child One

Sprague said the decision to remove the traditional parenting names was not an act of political correctness.

“We find that with changes in medical science and reproductive technology that we are confronting situations now that we would not have anticipated 10 or 15 years ago,” she said.

Gay rights groups are applauding the decision.

“Changing the term mother and father to the more global term of parent allows many different types of families to be able to go and apply for a passport for their child without feeling like the government doesn’t recognize their family,” said Jennifer Chrisler, executive director of Family Equality Council.

Her organization lobbied the government for several years to remove the words from passport applications and tax returns.

Polygamist groups have also lobbied to have Parent Three and Parent Four added to all government documents.

 

Parent One, Parent Two, Parent Three, Parent Four

Some conservative Christians are outraged over the decision.

“Only in the topsy-turvy world of left-wing political correctness could it be considered an ‘improvement’ for a birth-related document to provide less information about the circumstances of that birth,” Family Research Council president Tony Perkins wrote in a statement to Fox News Radio. “This is clearly designed to advance the causes of same-sex ‘marriage’ and homosexual parenting without statutory authority, and violates the spirit if not the letter of the Defense of Marriage Act.”

Robert Jeffress, pastor of the First Baptist Church in Dallas, agreed. “It’s part of an overall attempt at political correctness to diminish the distinction between men and women and to somehow suggest you don’t need both a father and a mother to raise a child successfully,” said Jeffress. “(This decision) was made to make homosexual couples feel more comfortable in rearing children.”

Chrisler recounted the day she and her female partner tried to get her twin sons passports.

“Even though my partner was their legal mother, had adopted them after I gave birth to them, she still had to put her name in the father field, and that is both discriminatory and makes us feel like second-class citizens,” she said.

Sprague said she would not use the word discriminatory to describe the old passport form.

“I would prefer to use the word imprecise,” she said. “It just didn’t capture the reality of their situation. Clearly, we want to be sensitive to the feelings of other people, but we are also very conscious of our need to introduce the greatest degree of precision to the process.”

Perkins, meanwhile, accused the State Department of disrespecting the law and called on Congress to “take their oversight rule very seriously and intervene in both these circumstances.”

The new gender-neutral passport application will be rolled out in February and the words “mother” and “father” must NOT appear on tax returns.  If the words appear, the taxpayer will be fined $1,000 for each use of the word.

ALBANY – Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino announced today that he is gay.  A brainwashed gay.