TORONTO – Pedro and Buddy – two gay penguins – were tossed out of the Toronto Zoo, let loose onto the streets.

HOLLYWOOD – Will Smith is separating from his wife Jada Pinkett Smith so he can be with his “true love” – Madonna.

NEW YORK – Sesame Street is going to have a gay wedding for Bert and Ernie.

HOLLYWOOD – Miley Cyrus hinted over the weekend that she will marry her “dear friend,” Anna Oliver.

BERLIN – German doctors announced that they have found the cure for “gayness.”

OHIO – Eight gay horses were killed. Authorities suspect arson in the barn burning.

OAK BROOK, IL – James A. Skinner, CEO of McDonald’s, served up a whopper when he announced that Ronald McDonald is gay.

HOLLYWOOD – Rihanna had a lesbian affair with model, Natajah Burton.

WASHINGTON – The Obama Administration has banned the words “mother” and “father” on all official government documents.

ALBANY – Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino announced today that he is gay. A brainwashed gay.