CARL PALADINO – I AM A GAY AMERICAN

Frank Lake — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 14:39:19 +0000

ALBANY – Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino announced today that he is gay. A brainwashed gay.

Appearing on NBC’s “Today” Monday morning, the Republican gubernatorial candidate Paladino said he has nothing against gay people in his work or personal life – he just doesn’t want to be exposed to their culture.

He specifically signaled out gay pride parades, with marchers wearing “Speedos and grinding against each other.”

When pressed by Matt Lauer about why he has come out so strongly against the gay lifestyle, Paladino shocked viewers when he stood up and announced:

” I am a gay American.”

Paladino said this was the perfect day for him to come out because it’s National Coming Out Day!

Paladino went on to say that he is worried about children being “brainwashed” into being gay because when he was a child in Buffalo, New York, he was taken into a room by his Algebra teacher and “he put a big metal helmet on my head, with lots of tin foil, and they played the soundtrack to “Hello, Dolly” over and over again. The teachers did this every day for a month. Then, one day, during a little league game, Tommy Flanagan, slid into second base and I helped him up and kissed him, right there.”

And Paladino has been kissing men ever since…

Lauer was confused. “If you are a gay American, then why are you coming out so strongly against gay pride?”

“I’m a complicated man, but I’m a simple man. Just because I am gay, doesn’t mean that I want other people to be gay, especially when elementary school teachers brainwash you.”

The bottom line: Paladino wants the non-gay vote, but he also wants the gay vote. He loves gays and he hates gays. He loves himself and he hates himself.

“I love New York and I hate New York,” said the Republican candidate. “And I think most New Yorkers are the same way.”

Paladino has three children. “Have you told your wife and children that you are gay?,” asked Lauer.

“I just did – on national television.”

Carl Paladino will be in Brooklyn tonight claiming to be a transgender male. He will also claim to be a Jamaican, and a Jew and.. whatever else he can be to get votes.

SAY NO TO SAME-SEX IN-LAWS

Ed Anger — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:38:56 +0000

I’m madder than a drag queen who’s run out of duct tape over this gay marriage business.

Marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman – and one mother-in-law. If these namby-pambies get their druthers, the next step is same-sex in-laws!

Mark my words: every husband in America will have to have not one but TWO mothers in law, on the Supreme Court’s say so. Then men will be twice as wrong about everything, and driving too fast twice as often, too. Twice the nagging, twice the chores – and double the stink of Absorbine Jr you can’t get out of the damn house! (Why do you think they call it “Ben-Gay”? It’s all part of the conspiracy!)

You won’t be left out, wives. With TWO mothers in law, you’ll get twice the snide remarks about your “interesting” new hairdo or recipe for stuffing, and twice the “tsk tsks” when you reach for that second Krispy Kreme.

It’ll be equality gone crazy!

Those Gay Pride Parades were bad enough. My fellow Americans, the Man Upstairs didn’t mean for us to prance buck naked down Main Street U.S.A, in the fresh air and sunshine, playing disco music full blast. That’s why He gave us dark, smoky strip joints with sticky floors.

This all started when they put Paul Lynde in the center square. Ever since then, those gay libbers kept squeezing more K-Y onto the slippery slope, and America is going to hell in a fruit basket.

Soon our kids will be reciting the Pledge of Gay-legiance in school!

Call me a “homoglobin” if you will. But when they carve Cher’s face onto Mount Rushmore, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Weekly World News » gay pride parade

CARL PALADINO – I AM A GAY AMERICAN

SAY NO TO SAME-SEX IN-LAWS