WASHINGTON DC – Beyonce will be getting a little help from a little friend during her performance at Obama’s inauguration celebrations.

The opening celebration for President-Elect Barack Obama’s inauguration has been dubbed “We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial”. A host of musicians have stepped froward to lend their talents for the evening, including Bono, Stevie Wonder, Garth Brooks, Garth Brooks’ alter ego Chris Gaines, and Shakira.

Beyonce was invited to join, but on one condition: she had to let Obatma perform with her!

Beyonce was requested by the Obama camp to let Obatma sing backup vocals during her set.  When asked why, an Obama spokesperson said, “He’ll hate me for telling you this but, he has a little crush, so… we thought it would make up for the whole ‘hotel thing’.”

Beyonce responded, “This is one of the most important events in American history. To share the stage with any of President-Elect Obama’s family is an honor and a blessing.”

When asked by reporters how she felt about working with Obatma, she giggled. “He’s just the cutest thing! Have you seen the little suit he always wears?”

While Obatma is incapable of speaking any known human language, he has already learned to squeak along to “Single Ladies”.  Unverified reports suggest he may even be the first mutant to breakdance during a presidential inauguration, although this is considered highly unlikely.

Critics are causing a stir, saying his appearance could turn a dignified event into a freakshow.  However, Obatma will not be the first mutant to perform at an inauguration.  President Taft had a three legged tap dancer perform at his inaugural celebration while he unhinged his jaw to eat a whole turkey.

MISSOULA, MT – Kim Jong Il was seen performing in the most unlikeliest of places.

The Triple Deuce, a rural bar just outside Missoula, was visited by the dictator of communist North Korea last Thursday. Kim Jong Il attended the weekly open mic night, playing an acoustic set of blues and country standards with a few songs he wrote about his time on the road.

In the past few months, Korean authorities have come under fire for covering for their missing leader.  News agencies and governments have been skeptical of the military’s excuses, especially after obviously faked photos were released by North Korea’s official news agency.

Pyongyang’s Minister of Truth stated via phone, “Of course Our Dear Leader is here! He wouldn’t gallivant around the United States for months at a time and never call.  Absurd! He’s here right now!”

When asked if Weekly World News could speak to Kim, the Minister replied, “Just one moment. Dearest Leader, there’s a phone call for- Oh, sorry, he’s too busy teaching orphans to read.  That’s our Glorious Leader!” and then promptly hung up.

Kim Jong Il played a fifteen minute set including “Walk the Line” by Johnny Cash, “Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks, Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You”, and songs he wrote titled “Sovereign Highway Rambler” and “Lonely at the Top of Mount Paektu”.

Crowds were unsure of how to react to the singing dictator.  Receiving mostly polite applause, he held back tears as he finished his final song and walked off the stage.  After paying for his two ginger ales, he left the bar.

The American government is unsure of what Kim Jong Il may be doing here or where he is going on his tour of the United States. State Department insiders believe he may be working on a solo album.  He was last seen heading south on I-15.