WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama will finally give an interview to Fox News. Both he and the station are preparing for the imminent showdown.

I guess the Teleprompter Kid has nothing better to do than get mad that not everybody loves him.

SACRAMENTO, CA – Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has come forward saying he backs health care reform.

NEW YORK, NY – Glenn Beck tweeted about appropriating Yom Kippur as a day to pray “for the Republic.”

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News stated yesterday that America is not pure since people marry “other species and ethnics.” Mutants around the country are now up in arms.

I’m madder than a couch potato with a busted remote!

NEW YORK, NY – In an interview on Fox News, former Vice President Dick Cheney admitted that “there was never any evidence Iraq was involved in 9-11.”

GAITHERSBURG, MD – Former astronaut Edgar Mitchell stated at a UFO conference that extraterrestrial life exists and the government is actively covering it up.

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News commentator Glenn Beck is taking time out from his various news shows to do comedy.

ANCHORAGE, AK – Ted Stevens International Airport closed this weekend due to volcanic ash. Former Senator Ted Stevens believes it’s all part of a liberal conspiracy.