PANAMA CITY, FL – A cloud tsunami hit Panama City Beach, causing considerable damage.

Helicopter pilot Mike Schaeffer was wrapping up a tour when he spotted this incredible weather phenomenon along the coast of Panama City Beach, Fl. on Sunday.

As soon as he landed, he alerted Panhandle Helicopter  owner JR Hott of the “cloud form waves,” and together they went up for a better view. They moved quickly knowing that it is only in very specific weather conditions that this beautiful effect occurs.

While the online community has dubbed this a “cloud tsunami,” Hott disagrees with the popular moniker:

I wouldn’t call it a “cloud tsunami.” The term tsunami implies a natural disaster. The event, while it can form quickly, moves gently and slowly. It isn’t something that happens with more than a gentle breeze.

While the images appear non-threatening and peaceful, as an experienced pilot, Hott has been trained to treat all fog and clouds as if they are solid objects. He and Schaeffer were very careful approaching in the air to get a better view. Fortunately, because of the location of the condos, they were able to approach the cloud waves from the side and did not place themselves in the direct path of the fog.

Natalie Jimenez
MSNBC

Newt Gingrich plans to colonize the moon in two years and it make it the 51st State, if Newt becomes President. 

Gingrich laid out this plans during a speech in the city of Cocoa, on Florida’s Space Coast. He also said that near-Earth space would be bustling with commercial activity by 2015, and that America would possess a next-generation propulsion system by then, allowing the nation to start daily flights to Mars.

Gingrich said that he wants to make the Moon our 51st State and he wants to go to the moon, personally, and plant an American flag on the moon.

“I think we are the only country in the world that can develop the Moon and make it viable.  I can see something like the Mall of America on the moon,” Gingrich reportedly told reporters.

“By the end of my second year in office, we will have the first permanent base on the moon, and it will be American and the moon will have an NFL franchise,” Gingrich reportedly said.

The former Speaker of the House made no apologies for the boldness of his ambitions, which depend primarily on the emergence of a vibrant commercial spaceflight industry.

He said the U.S space program needs a kick in the pants like the one President John F. Kennedy gave it in 1961, when he promised to put a man on the moon by the end of the decade.

“I am sick of being told we have to be timid, and I am sick of being told we have to be limited to technologies that are 50 years old,” Gingrich told a standing-room-only crowd of cheering supporters.

With the retirement of NASA’s space shuttle program last July, the U.S. is now reliant on Russia to get its astronauts to and from the International Space Station, and will be until 2017 or so, when private American vehicles may start coming online.

Meanwhile, China is ramping up its space program.

“If the Chinese try to come to the moon, we will stop them.  The moon belong to the U.S.  We were there first,” Gingrich reportedly said.

Mitt Romney said that he thinks it’s a great idea for Gingrich to go to the moon.  ”I think we should send him there right away.  The moon needs him,”  Romney reportedly said.

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI announced that he will attend the Denver Broncos playoff game against the New England Patriots.  

In an announcement that shocked Christians around the world, the Pope reportedly will travel to Foxborough, MA on Saturday to watch Tim Tebow play football.  A WWN source inside the Vatican said, “The Pope feels that Tim Tebow may be an angel sent to this earth and he wants to meet him in person  - and bless him.”

This will be the first time in the history of the Catholic Church that a sitting Pope will attend a major U.S. sporting event.  ”Pope Benedict feels that  humans are living through a very difficult time and that the Lord will send signs of peace, love and understanding to help us through these times.  The Pope believes that Tim Tebow may be a light sent from God, here to help heal the world.”

The New England  Patriots will not be intimidated by the Pope’s presence at the game.  ”Look, it’s a football game,” a source close to Patriots coach Bill Belichick said.  ”They have Tebow and the  Pope.  We have Tom Brady.   And it’s the playoffs… I think our chances are better in the game.”

Not so fast, Bill.  ”The Pope does not plan to attend his first American football game and watch the team he is rooting for lose,” said an American Cardinal that will be traveling with the Pope.  ”The Pope is predicting a 42-0 victory for the Denver Broncos.  He’s guaranteeing it.”

Tim Tebow has been called the “Mile High Messiah” for his miracles on the football field and his “wise and holy” attitude off the football.   Many across the country have started “tebowing” – kneeling on the ground with head bowed.  The Pope has even started tebowing…

Many believers in Vatican City feel that Tebow  - even though he is not Catholic – might be named the next Pope.   Pope Timothy?  Pope Tebow?  Sounds about right to many in Rome.

God is on Tebow’s side… Will anyone bet against Denver in the playoff game?

PALM BEACH, FL – Thousand of sharks under alien mind control have been spotted just off the coast of south Florida.

Throughout this week, visitors to south Florida beaches have witnessed incredible shark sightings.

“There were a thousand sharks in a school offshore here,” said one visitor. Another visitor recounted, “They were coming right up. You could get knee-deep in water and they were coming in that close.”

Biologists claim that the increase in shark sightings is all part of an annual winter migration. As northern waters cool the sharks move south in search of warmer waters. They have also assured the public that the presence of the sharks should be of little to no concern for beach goers.

“They [the sharks] are generally not interested in you in the water,” stated Dr. Brian Franks.

However, this seemly sound advice from the doctor has done little to calm the nerves of many beach goers.

In addition to the mass amounts of sharks that have been spotted, it has also been noted that the sharks are swimming in synchronization much like Fu Yandong’s gold fish. Aerial footage has shown that the sharks are being positioned into geometric shapes and symbols similar in fashion to the crop circles that are known to be created by alien beings This strange synchronization was immediately brought to the attention of the UN Panel on Extraterrestrials and a full on investigation has begun.

“This shark activity is of grave concern for the people of planet earth. First the aliens implemented death on our animals and now mind control. This is clearly a sign that the aliens are learning more about how to control and manipulate the various genomes,” explained Cindy Townson who serves on the UN panel, “The aliens ability to control savage beasts, like sharks, is just another weapon that they will employ in their planned attacks.”

The UN Panel on Extraterrestrials has attempted to issued warnings to beach bums abound but their message has been intercepted by government agents who continually deny that an alien invasion is underway.

Some muscle heads have already taken matters into their own hands, going mano a mano with the sharks before they can make their first strike.

“I hate alien scum! I’ll take on every single last one of these alien controlled sharks and if I die tryin’ so be it,” said Philippe Barnes just before he flexed his muscles for the ladies and dove back into the ocean to take on his next opponent.

NEW HAMPSHIRE – Rick Perry continues his gafffetastic campaign.  He told an audience last night:  I hope the Easter Bunny is good to y’all.”

The audience in Portsmouth wasn’t surprised wasn’t surprised that Rick Perry confused Easter with Christmas.  They’ve gotten used to his campaign blunders.  Just the other day, Rick Perry told CNN that the Supreme Court only has 8 judges.  He retracted his statement yesterday  by reportedly saying,” We all make  mistakes, we all have our ‘oops’ moments.  I know there are ten Supre Court justices, but I don’t think I need to memorize all their names.  I can tell you this. George Bush is one of ‘em.”

An aide to Rick Perry’s campaign Rick Perry say that he always confuses Easter with Christmas because “they are so close together.”   Members of the press corps said Perry told them, “look, I made a mistake, but it’s a common error.  Jesus was born on Christmas, we all know that, but then  he rose again three days after and that’s Easter, so they are so close together it’s easy to see how somebody can make the error.   It’s a common thing.”

Here are a few other gaffes Perry reportedly made in New Hampshire:

1)  ”There are four branches of government:  Congress, The White House, The Supreme Court and the IRS.”

2)  ”Texas is our biggest state, except for Canada.  Canada is the biggest because it’s higher up there.”

3)  ”Iran and China are making deals because they’re next door neighbors.  That’s like Texas making deals with Oklahoma.  We don’t have to worry about that threat.”

4)  ”Hillary Clinton is a great American and a great Republican.  I might consider her as my Vice Presidential nominee.”

5)  ”Everyone should be able to carry guns, especially the children. They need protection.”

6)  ”I don’t believe in funding the arts.  NASA has enough money.  They don’t need to our money to pay artists to make dung sculptures.”

7)  ”I am Tim Tebow’s real father.  He’s my miracle.”

Perry ended his speech last night by saying, “Happy Christmas!” and then he sang Hava Nagila:

MIAMI – Dwarf-Tossing Season got off to a BIG start in bars across Miami.

Florida is the first state in the union to sanction the unique sport of dwarf tossing.   It’s a sport and an art that involves two athletes – one of whom is a dwarf.

Some of top dwarf tossers in the world have descended, once again, on Florida for the annual Snow White Cup.

Most states outlawed the sport in 1989, when national controversy over dwarf tossing prompted state legislatures to ban it in bars for safety reasons.

Florida authorities have deemed it to be a safe sport now – and it is heavily regulated.   “We try to keep dwarf injuries to a minimum,” said Dwarf Tossing Association president, Tom Hillstrom.

“Football is far more dangerous than dwarf tossing,” said Hillstrom.  “DT is an entertaining and competitive sport that features highly skilled athletes.”

The Little People of America have filed a few lawsuits, but Florida officials dismiss them.  “The Little People have a tiny case,” said Florida attorney general, Pam Ziondi.  “I think the judge will toss out the case – and a few dwarfs.”

There are 50 top dwarf tossers in the world and they have all gathered in Miami for the season opener.    Chris Blanton of  Kansas City, MO is the reigning dwarf tossing champion.  He once tossed a dwarf fifty-seven yards in nightclub in Melbourne, Australia.

Blanton has worked with top dwarf, Jimmy Cobbs of Newark, New Jersey for the last five years.  “They are a dynamite team,” said Hillstrom.  “Cobbs is a maniac and Blanton tosses the hell out of him.”

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey is thinking of allowing Dwarf Tossing in his state.

Let’s the dwarf tossing begin!!

ST. LUCIE, FL – A 19-year-old Florida student, reeled in a 12-foot, 3-inch, 800-pound alligator!

Tim Stroh caught the gator while boating on the St. Lucie County Canal on Sept. 16,

Stroh, his parents, and a regular customer at the Stroh family taxidermy shop took out a boat after getting a tip about a giant gator. Within an hour, they encountered a gator that might very well be the Moby Dick of Hobe Sound.

Using what his dad described to the paper as a “puny bass rod,” Stroh somehow pulled the gator near their boat. He then reportedly shot it with a “bang stick” — a tube-like firearm often utilized to subdue gators and sharks.

The gator hunters harpooned the reptile and lifted it onto their boat.

“He had a lot of character, and I had a lot of fun,” Stroh said.

The Stroh family has lots of experience hunting alligators, but this catch is twice the weight of their previous best.

They plan to mount the gator’s head on the teen’s wall, make keychains from its back, turn its leg into a lamp and eat their way through 250 pounds of gator meat

It’s certainly a big haul — but it’s nothing compared to the Giant Crocodile captured alive by villagers in the Philippines earlier this month.

MIAMI – The TSA caught a man with snakes in a pants.

Seven snakes to be exact.  And three tortoises.

Guy is a reptile lover.  Literally.

Using a body scanner, TSA officers in Miami spotted the reptiles stuffed inside nylon bags concealed inside pants of the unidentified man.  He was trying to get through a checkpoint on his way to Brazil on TAM Airlines, TSA spokesman Jonathon Allen said Monday.

U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife officers took custody of the critters and arrested the passenger.  A rape kit was brought in to test the snakes.

The man had “no comment” about the snakes.  But he did say they “felt good” in his pants.  “They keep me happy,” the man said.  He explained that he always has snakes in his pants and he didn’t “think twice” about taking them out for the TSA.

“I like having a multiple snakes in my pants.  It’s my right to keep my snakes wherever I want to keep them.”

This isn’t the first time somebody’s tried to smuggle snakes on a plane. Back in 2007, when wearing snakes on your feet was all the rage, a TSA agent found a boa constrictor inside some guy’s shoe.

For the record, the female TSA agent was not impressed with the man’s trouser snakes – the reptile kind, of course.

TYSONS CORNER, VA — The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame are ranked #1 in the 2011 preseason coaches’ poll.

College football fans across the country were surprised when the coaches’ poll was released today. But coaches across the country are in unanimous agreement:  Notre Dame is going to dominate this year under head coach, Brian Kelly.

Notre Dame got 57 of 59 possible first place votes. One first place vote went to Oklahoma, ranked No.2,  and the other went to Oregon, which is ranked No. 3 .

Former Florida Coach, Urban Meyer, who was turned down the head coaching job at Notre Dame in 2004, said, “They have an explosive offense and a crushing defense.  It’s been a few years since we’ve seen a defense with that much talent at every position. Manti Te’o, Harrison Smith, Lewis Kapron-Moore… they are all future first round draft picks.  I’m just glad Florida doesn’t have to play them this year.”

Sooner fans were disappointed that they were not ranked #1, but they are anticipating playing Notre Dame in the BCS title game.  Bob Stoops, the coach of Oklahoma  said, “We’re just gonna have to spend the season getting ready for Notre Dame. Hopefully by January we’ll be close to their level.”

College Coaches also agreed that Notre Dame may have the greatest receiver to ever play the game on their team this year.  Michael Floyd:

There are a lot of Notre Dame haters out there who think that this coaches’ pre-season ranking is a joke, but WWN has carefully reviewed the polling results and can confirm that Notre Dame was at the top.  Mark May of ESPN, a notorious ND hater (and a closet ballerina), said, “I wont’ have much to argue with Lou about this season. They have a helluva team. I’ll be wearing green all season. Notre Dame has a great team this year, maybe the greatest football team to ever to play at the collegiate level.  I love Notre Dame.”

Former ND coaches, Lou Holtz and Ara Parseghian, believe that Brian Kelly has brought Notre Dame back to the top.  “He’s a proven winner, and he’s got the players he needs to bring a  national title to Notre Dame,” Coach Holtz said.

The rest of the college teams will be jockeying to be the second best in the country. There’s a lot of contenders:  Boise State, LSU, Virginia… they’ll all be in the hunt.   Except USC… what a shame.

Florida didn’t make the top ten for first time in several years. Texas, which announced that it has scheduled games during the regular season against Notre beginning in 2015, is ranked fifth, followed by UCLA.

When Boston College students learned of the poll, they whined and moaned, as they always do.  Witnesses said they stuck their little eagle heads into their little eagle pillows screaming “God, why didn’t you let me into Notre Dame. Why?!”   Notre Dame students in South Bend could hear their sobs.

The coaches’ poll is part of the BCS formula used to determine its national champion.  This poll is accurate.  Read it (and weep if you must), but check back in January.

Here’s the complete rankings:.

1. Notre Dame
2. Oklahoma
3. Oregon
4. Boise State
5. Texas
6. UCLA
7.  Alabama
8.  Stanford
9. Rutgers
10. Missouri
11 Virginia Tech
12. Fordham
13. Nebraska
14. North Carolina
15. Florida State
16. Arkansas
17. Miami
18. Auburn
19. Utah
20. Virginia
21. Vanderbilt
22. Penn State
23. TCU
24. Hawaii
25.  Michigan

MIAMI, FL  -  Killer jellyfish are attacking beachgoers in Florida. They’ve killed 7,167 people already!

In the past week there have been more than 16,00 reports of jellyfish “stings” along the coast of Florida. And the type of jellyfish responsible for the mass chaos isn’t indigenous to North America!

Monty Graham, a scientist at Alabama’s Dauphin Island Sea Lab, said the killer jellyfish appear to be what are known as mauve stingers, a species that often blooms in response to small climate cycles like El Nino.

“The interesting thing about these jellyfish is that they’re very sporadic. They occur in heavy numbers, but not every year,” he said.  “The jellyfish in Florida are extremely dangerous.  One sting can paralyze a person, two stings and… they are dead.”

Florida State Ocean Rescue officials said they began flying warning flags at beaches from Jacksonville to Miami Beach last Tuesday, indicating either a high or a severe hazard, along with another flag indicating deadly marine life.

“From last Wednesday to Friday, we got about 6o,000 reports. Saturday to (Tuesday), we got another ten thousand,” Chief Jeb Zabad said.

The last time he had seen such a widespread outbreak in the United States was in the 1960s, when over 200,000  Florida swimmers died because of jellyfish stings.

When stung, mauve stinger victims may see a discoloration on their skin where contact was made, Graham said. “If you get stung and see these marks… you will have about three hours to get to a hospital to get a soy milk sponge bath, which is the only cure.  If you don’t – you will die.”

Here’s what the marks look like.  On the torso:

And on the legs:

The stings first cause itching, burning and rashes.  Hospital across Florida are being overrun with patients that have been stung by the killer jellyfish.

The Obama Administration has issued a Jellyfish Emergency Alert.  The National Guard is being sent down to Florida to hunt and kill these jellyfish.

Bottom line: Don’t go in the water!!

Most victims were being treated by a vinegar solution stocked at the various lifeguard stations.

Despite the abundance of visible jellyfish in the water, many trying to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend took their chances — and suffered the repercussions.

“We’ve already gone through about 25 gallons of vinegar. Even so, a lot of people didn’t go into the water,” Scabarozi said. “I just want to know when they’re going to leave.”