BREAKING – Due to the uproar caused by announcing its shutdown on March 15, Facebook has a new plan – charging users!

A hacker collective, “Anonymous” vows to take down the social networking giant this November.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The government will be using electronic tattoos to monitor “suspicious” citizens.

WASHINGTON – Secret CIA memos reveal that President John F. Kennedy was killed because he wanted to release the UFO files.

WASHINGTON, DC – A recently released memo by the FBI proves that aliens did land in Roswell, New Mexico.

CRAWFORD, TX – George W. Bush reveals in his memoir, Decision Points, that he personally waterboarded VP Dick Cheney.

PEORIA, IL – Federal authorities are helping SEIU unionize lemonade stands across the country.

PHILADELPHIA – Chinese spies, living in the U.S., haven taken over American swimming pools. Americans are burning up!

WASHINGTON, DC – The Washington Post unveiled the first installment of its Top Secret America series, revealing that much of America is now being controlled by aliens.

SANTA BARBARA, CA – The recent wildfire that destroyed dozens of homes in Southern California was started by flame-throwing UFO!