Weekly World News » engineer

SEND YOUR RESUME TO THE WHITE HOUSE

Frank Lake — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:21:07 +0000

The Obama Administration is reportedly asking Americans to send their resumes to the White House.

On Monday, President Obama held a town hall, through Google +. He fielded video questions from people ranging from homeless veterans to an Obama impersonator. One interaction that has been making the internet buzz, was when a Republican woman asked the President why H1B Visas are being issued when there are unemployed engineers, like her husband, who’s a semiconductor engineer.

Obama was visibly surprised about her husbands predicament and asked the woman to send him her husband’s resume so he could help him find a job.

Obama at first, answered the jobs question from Jennifer Wedel, of Fort Worth, Texas, with a stock answer, telling her, “I don’t know your husband’s specialty, but there’s a huge demand around the country for engineers,” especially in high-tech fields. But Wedel persisted, telling Obama that her husband is a semiconductor engineer.

Obama went on to say: “I meant what I said, if you send me your husband’s resume, I’d be interested in finding out exactly what’s happening right there,” Obama responded, saying it seems to him based on industry reports that Wedel’s husband “should be able to find something right away.”

“I’ll have to take you up on that,” Wedel said of the president’s offer to help her husband, Darin, who lost his job at Texas Instruments three years ago.

Here’s the video:

Since Monday, the White House received Darin Wedel’s resume and is trying to place him in a private sector job. The White House had so much fun doing so, that they are becoming “head hunters” for Americans of all ages.

“We think that we can be an effective employment agency,” a source close to a White House insider told WWN. “The President doesn’t want to simply create jobs, he wants to place Americans in jobs – personally.”

President Obama has created a Resume Czar who will be tasked with the job to sift through all the resumes from Americans and work to place them in a jobs that have solid benefits and good pension.

“We are trying to hire as many people as we can in the government, but for those that want to work in the private sector, we think we can help there too,” said the White House source.

Make sure your resume is perfect before you send to the White House. Here’s an example of a perfect resume:

MAN FLIES ACROSS ATLANTIC ON PAPER PLANE

J.B. Smitts — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 20:56:05 +0000

NEW YORK – Reggie DeSalvo, an American aerospace engineer from New York, flew across the Atlantic Ocean on a paper plane!

DeSalvo took off from New York’s LaGuardia Airport at 9:00 yesterday morning and arrived in London’s Hearthrow Airport at midnight. He said the flight was an attempt to set a new world record.

An engineering professor at Carnegie Mellon University in New York, DeSalvo said he got the idea after one of his students threw a paper plane at his chalkboard during a lesson.

“I couldn’t help but stare as the paper aircraft sailed across the room and smashed into my face,” he said. “I was so impressed with the physics of paper airplanes that I set to work that night.”

DeSalvo built his plane using 100 sq yards of construction paper, which he folded using a forklift and crane. He spent a total of 36 days working on the project in his brother-in-law’s boat warehouse. The completed project weighed a total of 700 lbs. and had a 75 ft. wingspan. It even was even furnished with a paper cockpit, paper control pad, and paper lavatory.

The plane cost around $250 in total, DeSalvo said.

After researching the history of transoceanic flight, DeSalvo decided to test his paper creation by flying it Across the Atlantic Ocean, knowing full well that he was up against the odds.

“I’ve heard horror stories of people trying to cross the Atlantic in hot-air balloons and hangliders,” said DeSalvo, “but never in a paper plane. I wanted to take my chances and be the first one to do it.”

DeSalvo was right: never before had anyone flown such a long distance in a paper plane. The previous record for paper-airplane flight was only 11 ft.

Still, DeSalvo remained undaunted.

On January 11th, he and his brother-in-law, Mark Gershwin, rented a semi-truck and drove the paper airplane to Laguardia Airport, where they rigged the paper airplane to the back of the semi-truck with a detachable cord. DeSalvo then had Gershwin tow him behind the truck. When the paper plane caught lift, DeSalvo detached the cord and began his transatlantic flight.

Upon touchdown in London, DeSalvo told WWN reporters that the ride across the Atlantic was “safe and smooth.”

“I didn’t encounter any problems during the flight,” he said. “I did become nauseated at one point, but that’s only because the in-flight movie was The Notebook.”

Third Armrest in New Military Plane

Dallas Commagreens — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:28:57 +0000

TOOELE, NV – According to former Air Force engineer Scott Rasla, America’s latest warplane isn’t entirely of this earth.

“I worked for five years on the Nightstar Hypersonic Bomber project,” Rasla told Weekly World News, “and I can assure you that our military has copied every detail from extraterrestrials—right down to the third armrest on the pilot’s seat.

“I won’t even get into what the bathroom looks like,” Rasla said.

Air Force spokesman Colonel Douglas Snaud dismissed the design details as the latest in combat ergonomics.

“Commanding a high-altitude bombing raid is a stressful job,” Col. Snaud said. “We want our pilots to have a selection of comfortable armrests.”

But Colonel Snaud’s explanation leaves a few Nightstar mysteries untouched. “What about the cattle-shaped gunsight?” Rasla wondered. “Or the antimatter propulsion system?”

“Look,” Col. Snaud insisted. “These were created by terrestrial engineers for terrestrial pilots on terrestrial missions. To put it another way, the rumors of this plane’s alien origin are powered by the simplest propulsive source of all: a crank.”