Badoo, a social networking site used mostly by non-Americans, asked it’s users to rate the world’s coolest nation.  America is #1!

It’s not much of a shock, but Badoo asked 90,000 users from 30 countries  to name the coolest nation and they chose America.  Duh.  Of course they did. America wins, again.

While Spain ranked coolest in Europe, and Brazil took the top spot for Latin America, the United States won the crown as hippest in the whole wide world. President Obama will fly to London to accept the award for America.

The Brazilians certainly were happy about being #2.  Well, they’re always happy.

A marketing director for Badoo told WWN, there’s lots of cool in America, “America has the world’s coolest leader, Obama; the coolest rappers, Jay-Z and Snoop Dogg; and the coolest man in technology, Steve Jobs of Apple, the man who even made geeks cool.  And you guys have Angelina Jolie.  I love Angelina Jolie.”

The least cool country in the world, according to the foreign American-lovers of Badoo, was Belgium, because aside from waffles, they don’t have much but a bunch of people who only bathe once a month.

Here’s a guy that most Belgians consider “cool”:

 ”We hear a lot in the media about anti-Americanism,” says Lloyd Price, Badoo’s Director of Marketing. “But we sometimes forget how many people across the world consider Americans seriously cool.”

It’s not a surprise because Americans invented cool in 1954 – two guys named “Elvis”  and “Miles” came up with the whole concept.   Ever since then, Americans have been obsessed with being cool.  a

What was most surprising is that the major European nationalities:  French, Brits and Germans were at the bottom of the list of “coolest” nations.

THE 10 COOLEST NATIONALITIES:

1. Americans

2. Brazilians

3. Spanish

4. Italians

5. South Africans

6.  Moroccans

7.  Japanese

8.  Ukrainians

9.   Filipinos

10. Swiss

THE FIVE LEAST COOLEST NATIONS

1. Belgians

2. French

3. British

4. Germans

5. North Koreans

MEMPHIS, TN – Today marks the 34th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death!

Silent mourners with heads bowed and yellow-orange candlelight leading the way paid their respects to Elvis Presley at his grave at Graceland, his longtime Memphis home, to remember the 34th anniversary of his sudden death.

Thousands of Elvis devotees, candles in hand, walked in the humid night to the graves of Elvis and his relatives, some wiping away tears as they filed past. Flower arrangements and heart-shaped wreaths decorated the burial site as “If I Can Dream” and other songs played softly in the background.

The vigil was to extend past midnight and into Tuesday morning, marking the anniversary of the King’s death on Aug. 16, 1977. The vigil is the main draw of “Elvis Week,” and some waited hours outside the stately mansion for the procession to start.

Paula Penna came with her family from Campinas, Brazil, for her sixth vigil. Penna, who met her Brazilian husband in an Elvis fan club, cried and hugged him, her sister and aunt after paying her respects.

She said Elvis songs have helped her family though good and bad. All four have Elvis tattoos. “Elvis music keeps the family together,” said Penna, who also was born on Aug. 16 and will celebrate her 27th birthday Tuesday. “I promised to come every year to pay tribute to Elvis because he is very important to the family life.”

Visitors came from Japan, England, Germany and other countries. Some wore full Elvis outfits, others just his trademark sunglasses or sideburns. Patrick Lucas sported sideburns and pompadour going as he walked to the vigil with the rest of the Elvis Presley Fans of Alabama, a club he joined on the Internet. Hunter, 22, came from Ehlange-Mess, Luxembourg, for the vigil.

Here is some Elvis trivia and a fun quiz to help you find out how much you REALLY know about The King:

- His natural hair color wasn’t black. It was a light blondish brown – but he dyed it to copy signer Roy Orbison, who had black hair.

- The name “Elvis” comes from the Norwegian “Alviss,” which means “all wise.”

- At one time, Elvis paid more taxes than any other person in the United States, according to the IRS. He hit the 91 percent tax bracket!

- He won only three Grammys – two for different recordings of “How Great Thou Art” and one for “He Touched Me.”

- His shoe size was 11-D. But he wore size 12 combat boots when he was in the Army.

- Elvis’ favorite reading material: Books on the spiritual and occult.

- Whenever Elvis went on tour, he took more than 250 books packed in two trunks. When he died on August 17, 1977, he was in his bathroom reading The Shroud of Turin.

- Elvis weighed pounds at birth – and more than 255 pounds when he died.

- The King’s last words were in response to his girlfriend Ginger Alden’s warning not to fall asleep in the bathroom. His reply: “OK, I won’t.”

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog if you can’t answer at least half of these fun questions about Elvis Presley!

To test yourself, simply select one response for each question. Then check out the answer key at the end.

1. Where was Elvis born?
A. Memphis, Tenn.; B. Little Rock, Ark.; C. Tupelo, Miss.

2. What did The King throw to his adoring fans at his concerts?
A. personalized ballpoint pens, B. silk scarves, C. teddy bears

3. What kind of car was Elvis’ favorite?
A. Cadillac, B. Aston Martin, C. Lincoln Continental

4. What is the name of Elvis’ first movie?
A. Love Me Tender, B. Clam Bake, C. Love Story

5. Which one of these groups sang back up for The King?
A. The Supremes, B. The Belmonts, C. The Jordanaires

6. What was Elvis’ favorite sandwich?
A. ham and cheese, B. peanut butter and banana, C. smoked pork

7. How old was he when he died?
A. 39, B. 42, C. 47

8. What was the name of Elvis’ private plane?
A. Moonraker, B. Pretty Priscilla, C. The Lisa Marie

9. What was the title of The King’s first gold record?
A. “That’s All Right (Mama)”, B. “Heartbreak Hotel”, C. “Viva Las Vegas”

10. Where was Elvis stationed as a soldier when he met his young wife Priscilla?
A. France, B. Georgia, C. Germany

ANSWERS: 1. C, 2. B, 3. A, 4. A, 5. C, 6. B, 7. B, 8. C, 9. B, 10. C

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA  – Vladmir Putin launched his world tour – as a singer – last night!

Vladimir Putin has now done something no other Russian leader is known to have done, at least in public:  sing!   He launched his world tour as an artist by singing an American pop classic:  “Blueberry Hill.”

Fans packed into the concert hall to hear the 58-year-old Russian Prime Minister-pilot-hunter-judo black belt embark on yet another career.

“Some people are saying he wants to be the next Frank Sinatra, but Vlad has a unique style that surpasses Frank and  will make him much bigger on a global scale,”  said Putin’s Chief of Staff,  Anna Pfeffer.

Putin took the stage to thunderous applause and then sat down at the piano and played a Rachmaninoff’s Concerto #3, which many considered the finest performance of the difficult piece ever performed.  Here he is at the piano:

Putin was humble at first when he told the crowd, “Like an overwhelming majority of people, I can neither sing nor play, but I very much like doing it.”  Then he went on to announce that he was launching his Red Scare Tour, his first world tour as a singer/pianist/KGB.

In the clip below Putin stumbled a bit on a Soviet-era patriotic song, “From Where the Motherland Begins”  because he was very emotional.   Then he got up and sang “Blueberry Hill.”

Some in the audience say that they saw the ghost of Elvis Presley on the side of the stage.  Reportedly, Elvis gave Putin a thumbs up sign for his “Blueberry Hill” performance.

The 1940 song (music by Vincent Rose, lyrics by Al Lewis and Larry Stock),was made famous by Elvis Presley and Led Zepplin.   Nobody saw Led Zepplin (dead or alive) on the side of the stage, however.

The former KGB head and president learned the song’s lyrics as part of his English language studies and soon after became fluent in English and learned the complete American songbook as well as every rock song recorded by the Beatles.

Spotted in the crowd: Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner and Sharon Stone.  They were all “blown away” by Putin’s performance.  If they weren’t “blown away” however… they may have been blown away.

Tickets for the Red Scare Tour are available from Live Nation.

Here’s the Putin gold:

MEMPHIS -  To mark the 33rd anniversary of his reported death, Elvis went to Graceland and he brought Michael Jackson with him.

Thousands of fans will be visiting Graceland today to pay tribute to the late Elvis Presley, who supposedly died on this date in 1977.   WWN has learned that Elvis Presley, who is still alive, snuck into Graceland last night with Michael Jackson – also still alive.

Michael and Elvis had a lot to talk about.  They have been hiding together in an undisclosed European location ever since Michael Jackson’s reported death.  Elvis and Michael have teamed up for two reasons: 1) they are going to make an album together (to be released in 2011) and 2) they are on a mission to go after doctors that take advantage of music legends.   Both stars “died” because of abusive practices of doctors surrounding them.

Graceland Manor, which was purchased in 1957 by Elvis for around $90,000, is second to only the White House in terms of tourism. About 600,000 people come annually to see where Elvis called home.  Elvis, himself, makes the trip three times a year – for his birthday, the anniversary of his death and for the Memphis Blues Festival.

Today, the usual army of Elvis impersonators showed up at Graceland.  Elvis, reportedly, is not happy with these imitators and wants to work with the city, state and federal government to have them banned forever – a move which is supported by 85% of the population (the other 15% are Elvis impersonators).  Michael Jackson is joining with him, fearful that there will be a rash of Michael Jackson impersonators roaming the earth soon.

Former President George W Bush was part of the throngs of fans outside Graceland. “I loved Frank Sinatra.  He was always my favorite singer.”  When Bush was told that he was standing at Elvis Presley’s house, not Frank Sinatra’s, Bush replied, “Oh, I love ALL the Beatles. I’m just glad I made it here with all the traffic… mission accomplished.”

So, if you listen closely tonight, you will hear a duet by Michael Jackson and Elvis wafting in the air. They’ll be singing “Are You Lonesome Tonight?”

Though there have not been any recent Elvis (or MJ) sightings… they are here.  Always…

You gotta believe:

And remember:

LAS VEGAS – Holly Madison, star of Peepshow and Holly’s World, went to City Hall in Las Vegas today and married her ferret Sid.

Playboy Playmate Holly first met Sid at The Lide Animal Foundation. “I went down there to adopt a pet, and I fell in love. Not just that regular ole pet love, or Hef love, but love-love. I adore Sid.”  She currently stars in her own reality show, Holly’s World, which revolves around her life at Planet Hollywood  in Las Vegas. Holly said the show will be renamed Holly & Sid’s World.

Holly is ecstatic about her marriage, “I’m super-duper excited because Sid loves me unconditionally, and he doesn’t talk too much.”

When Holly was a teenager growing up in Astoria, Oregon, she wasn’t popular at all, and often went down to the local Collins Pet Store to steal fish food and stare at the ferrets.  “I must have been a ferret in another life, because I could just look at them and know what they were thinking and they could look at me and know what I was thinking. And we were just thinking together. Mostly about black lipstick.”.

Mayor Oscar B. Goodman officiated at the City Hall wedding. “Some people might think it odd that a beautiful woman would marry a ferret, but as  Woody Allen once said, ‘the heart wants what it wants’ and Las Vegas is open to all kinds of civil unions. Come visit, bring your life savings!”

Even though Holly’s marriage to the ferret is recognized in Nevada, she is worried that when she travels to other states her marriage will not be recognized. “That’s why I’m pushing for a new national law to make marriage legal between any two human beings.” When WWN explained to Holly that the ferret wasn’t a “human being” she looked at a nearby refrigerator and said, “Do I have a zit?”

Elvis Presley sang at the wedding. He modified the lyrics to “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” to  “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with a Sexually Dimorphic Predator.”  Holly’s co-stars from the hit reality show, “Girls Next Door,” Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt, were both in attendance at the wedding. Hugh Hefner couldn’t attend, but there was a cardboard cutout of Hef placed in the corner. The guests couldn’t tell the difference.

Holly and Sid had a reception at the Sugar Factory where all the guests wore her personally designed Candy Necklaces. Sid gnawed off the guests’ necklaces after the cake was cut. The couple danced up a storm, though there was a scary moment when one of Holly’s heels almost impaled Sid. Luckily, he’s quick on his feet.

The couple is honeymooning on a prairie in South Dakota.

For all you ferrets out there, here’s Holly in her wedding dress:

And here’s her PETA “naked” video that Sid loves:

MEMPHIS, TN – Today marks the 75th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s birth!

Here, with Elvis back in the news, is some great Elvis trivia and a fun quiz to help you find out how much you REALLY know about The King:

- His natural hair color wasn’t black. It was a light blondish brown – but he dyed it to copy signer Roy Orbison, who had black hair.

- The name “Elvis” comes from the Norwegian “Alviss,” which means “all wise.”

- At one time, Elvis paid more taxes than any other person in the United States, according to the IRS. He hit the 91 percent tax bracket!

- He won only three Grammys – two for different recordings of “How Great Thou Art” and one for “He Touched Me.”

- His shoe size was 11-D. But he wore size 12 combat boots when he was in the Army.

- Elvis’ favorite reading material: Books on the spiritual and occult.

- Whenever Elvis went on tour, he took more than 250 books packed in two trunks. When he died on August 17, 1977, he was in his bathroom reading The Shroud of Turin.

- Elvis weighed pounds at birth – and more than 255 pounds when he died.

- The King’s last words were in response to his girlfriend Ginger Alden’s warning not to fall asleep in the bathroom. His reply: “OK, I won’t.”

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog if you can’t answer at least half of these fun questions about Elvis Presley!

To test yourself, simply select one response for each question. Then check out the answer key at the end.

1. Where was Elvis born?
A. Memphis, Tenn.; B. Little Rock, Ark.; C. Tupelo, Miss.

2. What did The King throw to his adoring fans at his concerts?
A. personalized ballpoint pens, B. silk scarves, C. teddy bears

3. What kind of car was Elvis’ favorite?
A. Cadillac, B. Aston Martin, C. Lincoln Continental

4. What is the name of Elvis’ first movie?
A. Love Me Tender, B. Clam Bake, C. Love Story

5. Which one of these groups sang back up for The King?
A. The Supremes, B. The Belmonts, C. The Jordanaires

6. What was Elvis’ favorite sandwich?
A. ham and cheese, B. peanut butter and banana, C. smoked pork

7. How old was he when he died?
A. 39, B. 42, C. 47

8. What was the name of Elvis’ private plane?
A. Moonraker, B. Pretty Priscilla, C. The Lisa Marie

9. What was the title of The King’s first gold record?
A. “That’s All Right (Mama)”, B. “Heartbreak Hotel”, C. “Viva Las Vegas”

10. Where was Elvis stationed as a soldier when he met his young wife Priscilla?
A. France, B. Georgia, C. Germany

ANSWERS: 1. C, 2. B, 3. A, 4. A, 5. C, 6. B, 7. B, 8. C, 9. B, 10. C

WASHINGTON, DC – A man claiming to be Elvis Presley’s first-born son was refused a Supreme Court hearing.

Jason Presley of West Valley City, Utah, is also known as Ernie Young. Presley has been suing for the rights to the entire Presley family estate, claiming he is the first-born son of Elvis.

Presley believes that Elvis did not die from an overdose, but was in fact murdered in 1977!

He created a petition for the high court to review his case, after receiving unfavorable judgments from lower courts. The Supreme Court dismissed it.

Presley has been arrested in the past for harassing several judges in Utah after they also turned down his case.

It is unclear if this is the same Jason Presley who’s mother Patricia Parker issued Elvis a paternity suit in 1970.

Is it possible that Elvis actually had a son? Does Jason have proof of the faked overdose? Could this prove that Elvis may in fact still be alive somewhere?

LOS ANGELES – Bill Clinton returns to the US with freed North Korean prisoners.  Weekly World News has acquired a transcript of his exchange with Kim Jong Il.

This morning former President Bill Clinton returned on a plane with two American journalists who had been taken prisoner for entering North Korea illegally.  Their release was brokered by Clinton in a private meeting he had with the North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.

Last week Bill Clinton took it upon himself to fly to North Korea without the blessing of the White House or Washington DC.  Flying into Pyonyang the President met with Kim Jong Il to broker the release of the two American prisoners.

Kim Jong Il was pleased to meet with the former President, and was ready to turn the situation to his advantage.  Clinton was briefed by intelligence about Jong Ils interests and pastimes.  The two first made small talk in one of the royal palaces.  Then Jong Il showed Clinton through his personal library of music memorabilia.  Contained within the collection are first editions of Beatles albums, the coin tossed to put Ritchie Vallens on his fatal flight with Buddy Holly, and a mason jar filled with the soul of Robert Johnson.

Seeing an advantage Clinton offered some rare Elvis memorabilia in exchange for the journalists.  Secret Service agents produced the last sequined jumpsuit ever worn by The King in concert.  Then they produced an identical replica Clinton had made before leaving, which was fit to Kim Jong Ils measurements.  Jong Il was very pleased at this offering.  To further sweeten the deal, and to get Jong Ils promise to renew discussions on nuclear weapons, Clinton even threw in rare photographs of Elvis during his first black belt Karate test.  These are some of the only known photographs to show a fully grown Elvis being thrown around like a rag doll.

Within hours Clinton was on a plane with the two released journalists.  He and the two young ladies were said to enjoy the ride on his private jet, which is the only Former Presidential jet to be equipped with its own dance floor.

Kim Jong Il is said to still be running through his palatial home, wearing his Elvis replica jumpsuit and practicing Karate.

ARTESIA, NM – Weekly World News exclusive: Michael Jackson has been spotted in a diner with Elvis!

At roughly 3am last night patrons at a diner outside Artesia, New Mexico, saw what was undeniably Michael Jackson dining with Elvis Presley.  The two arrived just before 3 at The Sunshine Diner on 285.

Wait staff say that Elvis arrived first, quietly taking a booth near the window.  Minutes later Michael Jackson entered the sleepy diner, strutting to the booth where Elvis was seated.  Elvis could be seen rolling his eyes even behind his massive sunglasses.

The two quietly dined for just under an hour, attracting minimal attention from the other patrons.  They ordered the pancake special (cherry) and an egg white omelet respectively.  Jackson would pull his hat down over his face whenever anyone passed by, only attracting more attention, until a clearly annoyed Elvis made him stop.

The two appeared to be very happy to see each other and spoke pleasantly for the majority of their time in the small town diner.  After a slice of sweet potato pie and a fruit cup the two began collecting their things, leaving a tip of 20%.  A faithful Weekly World News reader sent in this photo, taken as they were paying at the counter.

When they left, a brief good-bye was seen by a waitress named Estelle Roche.  After a quick hug Elvis got into a ’75 Cadillac that only started after three tries.  Once he had pulled out Michael Jackson pointed his hand into the sky, and in a flash of light he disappeared.  A shooting star crossed the early morning sky heading north-west.

The photo and eyewitness accounts only further fuel the theory that Jackson staged his own death. Weekly World News will continue to investigate.

NEW YORK, NY – Much has changed since Philadelphia locked up last year’s title. We have a new President, Conan O’Brien is gone from 12:30, and oh yeah, and a little thing called the recession has altered the financial status of Americans.

With fans facing hard times, how will this impact America’s pastime?  How will franchises get strapped-for-cash fans into the seats? Just this year, both New York teams open lavish new facilities?  They have built them, so will they (the fans) come?

To address that question, baseball announced today it’s new ‘Meet the Celebrities’ program, geared to generate buzz, and push traffic to the ballparks.  What’s different about this campaign? Baseball is using only dead celebrities.

Said commissioner Bud Selig, “We don’t think anyone, in any sport, has ever tried this, so we’re pretty excited”.

Using unproven DNA and cloning technology, the MLB is partnering with HGH Biometrics (a Tijuana-based pharmaceutical giant), to recreate anyone from the past, to help promote their game.  Said one club official, who refused to be identified, ‘Sure it’s dodgy, but we’re the Dodgers.  You may not come to see LA play the Pirates, but you would if you can meet John Belushi.”

Said an ESPN analyst, “I think it’s great for fans.  Imagine going into the bleachers in Detroit, and starting a fight with Joe Louis, or elbowing up next to John Wayne at a Fenway urinal.  This is brilliant.”

But not everyone is a fan, said Giants opening day celeb, Dr. Ruth, “I’m not dead.  What are you talking about”.

Sure there are kinks in the system, but this reporter cannot wait to go to Wrigley and drink with uber-fan, Elvis Presley.  Stay tuned.

For more sports comedintary, check out www.dbbsports.com