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Tag Archives: election
BIG BIRD LIVES!
Big Bird, who was scheduled to be executed by Mitt Romney, was given a new lease on life with a win by Barack Obama!
CNN CALLS ELECTION FOR OBAMA!
With only 1% of the vote in, CNN has declared President Barack Obama the winner of the 2012 election.
ALIEN PREDICTS ROMNEY LANDSLIDE!
Mitt Romney has secured the coveted endorsement of the Washington space alien P’Lod, who predicts Romney will win in a landslide!
SENATOR TRIES TO SWEEP ELECTION WITH PRO-VACUUM STANCE
W.Va.’s Senator Joe Manchin doubles down on love for the cleaning machines ahead of the election.
BIDENBOT MALFUNCTIONS AGAIN
WASHINGTON — BidenBot, the lifelike, cybernetic machine that poses as Vice President Joe Biden during most of his public appearances, has malfunctioned again during a recent press conference.
GOP TAPS ‘CHILD PRODIGY’ STRATEGIST FOR ELECTION
According to reports, Republicans are employing 12-year-old “child prodigy” Billy Hogbin for the fall presidential election.
MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay. Unfortunately, the maverick senator doesn’t quite get computers and sold it all too cheaply.
CHAOS CLOUD HOVERS OVER INDIANA
INDIANAPOLIS, IN – The Chaos Cloud has made another appearance in a U.S. state, this time descending upon Indiana.
