RANCHO MIRAGE, CA – A six foot tall rabbit was seen leaving the Betty Ford Clinic this week.  Is the Easter Bunny trying to clean up before his big day?Camped outside the clinic’s entrance, reporters snapped pictures of a six foot tall rabbit leaving at 3am this Tuesday.  A positive identification was not possible as the giant rabbit was wearing a disguise.

Was this the Easter Bunny, or some other giant anthropomorphic rabbit?  Experts are unsure.

The Easter Bunny himself has a long history with substance abuse.  Formerly just a sugar addict, while delivering baskets in New York in the mid eighties the Easter Bunny became hooked on cocaine.  Families throughout America would wake on Easter morning to find half-filled baskets in the living room and cash missing from their wallets.

June 5th 1989 a joint task force between the FBI and DEA caught the Easter Bunny at a motel outside of Houston, Texas.  He had led the agents on a 5 state chase before finally being caught surrounded by chocolate eggs filled with methamphetamines.

Since being released from prison the Easter Bunny has stayed clean, and volunteered with drug education/prevention programs for children.  He was even a guest on a “Scared Straight” television special, detailing his former life as a junkie.

Was this the Easter Bunny leaving the rehab clinic?  Is he cleaning up his act again before the big day?  Was he getting help to stay strong before during the stress and temptation of his holiday?  Or was this a different anthropomorphic rabbit trying to get his life together?

Keep reading the Weekly World News for more details.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Britney Spears has finally broken free of her keepers!

Over the past year, Britney has been under lock and key after a number of disturbing incidents, including shaving her head and losing visitation rights to her children. Only recently has she started coming back into the spotlight with numerous TV performances and a highly anticipated new album.

But Britney is still very much in the care of an army of handlers, and discussed her lack of freedom in MTV’s “Britney: For the Record”. So who would have guessed that the person to save her would be but a lowly mutant?

In the past week, Ms. Spears has begun to act very differently. During the day she may still be Britney, but at night, she is BATney, causing mischief around town with the one and only Bat Boy!

Eyewitnesses have reported seeing the two giggling and hiding behind bushes outside popular night spots. When the time is right they jump out shrieking at passing paparazzi, who run for their lives.

They have also been spotted TP’ing her ex-husband’s house and throwing eggs at Adnan Ghalib, her former lover and F-list celeb.

Britney’s father, Jamie Spears, refused to confirm these reports to Weekly World News reporters, but stated, “If it was her, and I’m not saying it is, well at least she’d be having fun. That little bat boy is kinda creepy, but he seems like a good kid.”

Is Bat Boy using Britney to get publicity? Or does he just want to show her how to be happy again?

Weekly World News will continue to investigate!

BREAKING NEWS: In a new study, scientists are researching the missing link between fish and land animals.

The New York Times has revealed the Tiktaalik, a fossil fish that lived over 375 million years ago. It’s skeletal structure indicates it may have made brief trips onto land.

It is now believed that the half-human half-fish that washed ashore during Hurricane Ike was its successor the evolutionary chain! Dr. Carr is traveling with the mutant corpse to compare it against the Tiktaalik fossil.

Weekly World News will as always be following these groundbreaking updates.

09/16/2008 – A fish with human legs washed up on a Galveston, Texas beach late Sunday night and experts now say that hundreds or even thousands of similar creatures might be living in the depths of the sea!

That’s the word from Dr. Richard Carr, a marine biologist who performed an autopsy on the fish and said that even though it appears to be a freak of nature, it had a “fully developed female reproductive tract—and almost certainly gave birth to other creatures just like it.”

“When this thing washed up on the beach some people, including police, thought they were being made the victims of a sick practical joke,” the expert said in his report to newsmen in Houston.

“But this fish isn’t a joke,” he continued. “This fish is real. And unless I miss my guess, it was mature enough to have laid thousands of eggs before it washed ashore.

“That means that entire schools and colonies of these things might be existing beneath the sea, totally unknown to all of us.”

The mind-twisting drama reportedly unfolded on the morning of September 15, when a couple of emergency workers spotted the 5-foot 2-inch fish on an isolated beach.

“Somebody had the presence of mind to call the police,” said Carr, who has written several books on marine life and is considered to have one of the finest minds in his field.

“The officers who went out to investigate clearly thought that somebody was playing a practical joke but they protected the carcass and alerted my office just in case. My assistants and I took the fish back to the laboratory and we were stunned by what we found.

“Flesh removed from the creature’s legs proved to be almost identical to the flesh of humans, the exception being the presence of a waxy substance that protected the skin from contact with water.

“The body of the creature looks like a sea trout, and the internal organs were arranged in the fashion of an ordinary fish. The brain was slightly larger and more sophisticated than what you would expect to find in a fish, but we will have to take a much closer look at it before we’ll be willing to say that the creature was smarter than any other fish.

“It was dead when it washed ashore, most likely pulled up from the depths by Hurricane Ike,” he added.

Carr and his team have preserved the remains of the creature while they continue their analysis. They are also seeking grants to finance a search for other half-fish, half-humans, that may be in the area.

“We really don’t know what kind of life-forms exist under the sea,” said the expert. “And I think it’s time we found out.”