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Tag Archives: economy
IMF PREDICTS SEVERE RECESSION
WASHINGTON, DC – The IMF predicts a shrinking world economy over the next few years. This troubling news sent lard and cornmeal futures skyrocketing.
GATES PULLS PLUG ON DEFENSE SPENDING
WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month.
ED ANGER SAYS: LEAVE OUR NUKES ALONE!
That Obama really smashes my atoms!
CHILD MODEL TO BE PAID IN MONOPOLY MONEY
LOS ANGELES—Citing concerns over the recession in the American economy and the desire to purchase Park Place, a child model asked that she be paid in Monopoly dollars.
ALIENS BUY UP BLACK FRIDAY DEALS
NEW YORK, NY – With the economy continuing its roller-coaster ride this week, retailers are expecting a different type of crowd.
JAPANESE RESTAURANT HIRES TINY BIGFOOT BUSBOY
TOKYO, JAPAN – Following reports this week of a Japanese restaurant employing a staff of monkey waiters, Shibuya hideaway, DaiDai, has announced the recent hire of the world’s tiniest Bigfoot!
ALIENS SHORT ALL OF EARTH’S MARKETS
Aliens have taken all of the money on Earth!
McCain Will Sell Hawaii to Raise Cash
“It’s so far away, that it doesn’t even seem like part of America anyway”
