COLUMBUS, OH – One Ohio zoo-owner is slicing costs in a unique way.

WASHINGTON – President Obama announced yesterday that he is canceling the midterm elections, due to the jobs crisis.

LATVIA – Latvia had its annual “March of the Blondes” to help boost the economy.

NEW YORK, NY – Even the almighty David Beckham isn’t immune to the economy!

Ben Bernanke says that the worst of the recession is over and the economy will level out, thanks to a large reserve of gold found hidden under Mount Rushmore.

WASHINGTON, DC – The IMF predicts a shrinking world economy over the next few years. This troubling news sent lard and cornmeal futures skyrocketing.

WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month.

That Obama really smashes my atoms!

LOS ANGELES—Citing concerns over the recession in the American economy and the desire to purchase Park Place, a child model asked that she be paid in Monopoly dollars.

NEW YORK, NY – With the economy continuing its roller-coaster ride this week, retailers are expecting a different type of crowd.