WASHINGTON – A phenomenon known as natural decrease is becoming a pseudo pandemic within the U.S.

NEW DELHI, INDIA – India recently announced that it would launch its first manned mission to the moon in the coming months. Many questioned why India would spend billions of dollars during a world economic crisis on interplanetary space travel.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay. Unfortunately, the maverick senator doesn’t quite get computers and sold it all too cheaply.

NEW YORK, NY – Due to the economic crisis banks, credit, and collection agencies are employing ninjas to collect outstanding payments.