SACRAMENTO, CA – The Easter bunny lost his head!

The Easter Bunny surprised children , sending waves of giggles throughout his audience when dancing in character.

Every wiggle, shaking his large cotton tail, and stomp of his over-sized shoebox-like feet, spread smiles from ear to ear.

The trouble came, however, when given some room to run.

Dashing across some grass while carrying an Easter basket in one hand, the excited reporter tripped, landing on his side but knocking his plush, smiling head square off.

A stunned boy looked on nearby – not know what to do to save the poor bunny.

High-pitched voices can be heard not screaming on the video.

Desperately snatching at the head blindly to not show his face, the reporter pops the head back on and jumps erect to his feet.

The kids scream and shout their comments in the background – the foreground child taking a step back – while the surviving Easter Bunny spins his head face front.

The Easter Bunny got up, but put his head on backward.

The Easter Bunny promises to get his head on straight and will be back next year!

NEW YORK, NY – In an interview on Fox News, former Vice President Dick Cheney admitted that “there was never any evidence Iraq was involved in 9-11.”

This news comes as a complete shock to America and people around the world.  For the past 6 years, Vice President Cheney led the chorus stating it was an irrefutable fact that Iraq was linked to the 9/11 attacks.  The world stands in awe as one of the foundational beliefs of the last decade has been shattered.

Crisis counselors were immediately called into the Fox News headquarters.  Sean Hannity broke down in tears before locking himself in a closet for several hours. Richard Cheney said that with the Iraq war in its 6th year, it was finally a good time for the truth to come out.

Cheney also went on to definitively state that there is no Santa Claus, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, and Elmo is “just an annoying piece of felt with a guys hand up its rear.”    Citizens of the world are equally shocked to hear dearly held beliefs are also untrue.  After refuting the Iraq/9-11 connection on Fox News, the former Vice President wishes to go to elementary schools to tell children there is no Santa.  Dozens of elementary and preschools across the country have been added to his public speaking tour.

Detailing the nature of his youth audience speeches, Cheney said he plans on having a Mall Santa on stage that he will punch out and strip of his Santa outfit in front of the children.  “’No magic here, kids!’ I think that will be an eye-opening moment for a lot of children.”  He hopes to end the presentations by taking an Elmo doll off the hand of a puppeteer and putting it in a blender.  “Then the kids can see it’s just felt and crap.”

Requests to book the “Iraq was never connected to 9-11, and also there’s no Santa” speaking tour by Dick Cheney can be made through his website.

WORCESTER, UK – A British rabbit has been revealed that is over three feet long! Is he the obvious successor for the Easter Bunny?

At only two years old, Roberto the rabbit is already 27 pounds and over three feet long. How much bigger will he get?

RANCHO MIRAGE, CA – A six foot tall rabbit was seen leaving the Betty Ford Clinic this week.  Is the Easter Bunny trying to clean up before his big day?Camped outside the clinic’s entrance, reporters snapped pictures of a six foot tall rabbit leaving at 3am this Tuesday.  A positive identification was not possible as the giant rabbit was wearing a disguise.

Was this the Easter Bunny, or some other giant anthropomorphic rabbit?  Experts are unsure.

The Easter Bunny himself has a long history with substance abuse.  Formerly just a sugar addict, while delivering baskets in New York in the mid eighties the Easter Bunny became hooked on cocaine.  Families throughout America would wake on Easter morning to find half-filled baskets in the living room and cash missing from their wallets.

June 5th 1989 a joint task force between the FBI and DEA caught the Easter Bunny at a motel outside of Houston, Texas.  He had led the agents on a 5 state chase before finally being caught surrounded by chocolate eggs filled with methamphetamines.

Since being released from prison the Easter Bunny has stayed clean, and volunteered with drug education/prevention programs for children.  He was even a guest on a “Scared Straight” television special, detailing his former life as a junkie.

Was this the Easter Bunny leaving the rehab clinic?  Is he cleaning up his act again before the big day?  Was he getting help to stay strong before during the stress and temptation of his holiday?  Or was this a different anthropomorphic rabbit trying to get his life together?

Keep reading the Weekly World News for more details.