A Dwarf Empire has formed in China – and they are preparing a fight to secede and form their own country.

Dwarves from all over China have come to Kunming in the southwestern part of the country.  Their mission:  to form a Dwarf Empire and – conquer the world.

In the meantime, they have to make a living… SO, twice a day the dwarves perform a variety show, including acrobatics, sports, singing and dancing – all for tourists.

WWN reporter, Johnson Fairbanks, was the lone American reporter inside the Dwarf Empire (and the only person over 5 feet tall).   Currently, there are 500 dwarves living in the Empire, but leaders of the Dwarf Empire say they expect to have 10,000 dwarves behind their walls, within two years.

The Dwarf Empire has an emperor, an empress and a parliament.  It was built in 2009 by – dwarves..

At 10.30am and 3.30pm every day, members of the Empire put on costumes and perform a variety show for visitors, which could involve acrobatics, sport, singing and dancing.

The citizens of The Empire range between two feet and just over four feet in size. They all live in small mushroom-shaped houses.

Many Western tourists are said to feel uneasy about visiting the Dwarf Empire, fearing that it is exploitative – and fearing they may be captured and used as slaves.

“The Dwarves have a clear mission – to take over the world,” one Dwarf leader told WWN.

It just might happen…

Photos by Barcroft Media

SOUTH AMERICA – Dwarf Bullfighting is becoming the world’s fastest growing sport.

A posse of dwarf matadors are changing people’s perceptions of short people by touring South America with their popular bullfighting shows.

The travelling troupes are a BIG hit across the continent and have continued to consistently draw massive crowds over the last 30 years.

Unlike traditional bullfights, calves are used instead of full-size bulls and the animals are unharmed throughout the performance.

Despite the bullfighters’ bravery and athleticism, the performers admit they still have to work hard to change the public’s perception of the sport.

‘I think Americans may not understand what we do,’ performer Javier Landa, of the Original Bullfighting Dwarfs of Mexico, told USA Today.

“They may think we go out there to be laughed at, but that’s not the case.

“If a little person can fight a bull, he can do anything. That’s what we’re trying to prove.”

“We are tougher than the average person,” said the bullfighter.  This reporter than tossed him across the room.  He got right up.  Yes, they are tougher.

The pint-size actors come from a long-line of famous dwarfs and entertainers who have taken part in festivals and fairs across South America.

Competition for work is fierce amongst the different troupes with most of them also performing a series of different variety shows to boost interest.

A book celebrating the work of the dwarfs, who perform around 100 shows a year, is set to be released later this year.

Dwarf bullfighting is coming to America.  The first competition will be in Littleton, Colorado.

MIAMI – Dwarf-Tossing Season got off to a BIG start in bars across Miami.

Florida is the first state in the union to sanction the unique sport of dwarf tossing.   It’s a sport and an art that involves two athletes – one of whom is a dwarf.

Some of top dwarf tossers in the world have descended, once again, on Florida for the annual Snow White Cup.

Most states outlawed the sport in 1989, when national controversy over dwarf tossing prompted state legislatures to ban it in bars for safety reasons.

Florida authorities have deemed it to be a safe sport now – and it is heavily regulated.   “We try to keep dwarf injuries to a minimum,” said Dwarf Tossing Association president, Tom Hillstrom.

“Football is far more dangerous than dwarf tossing,” said Hillstrom.  “DT is an entertaining and competitive sport that features highly skilled athletes.”

The Little People of America have filed a few lawsuits, but Florida officials dismiss them.  “The Little People have a tiny case,” said Florida attorney general, Pam Ziondi.  “I think the judge will toss out the case – and a few dwarfs.”

There are 50 top dwarf tossers in the world and they have all gathered in Miami for the season opener.    Chris Blanton of  Kansas City, MO is the reigning dwarf tossing champion.  He once tossed a dwarf fifty-seven yards in nightclub in Melbourne, Australia.

Blanton has worked with top dwarf, Jimmy Cobbs of Newark, New Jersey for the last five years.  “They are a dynamite team,” said Hillstrom.  “Cobbs is a maniac and Blanton tosses the hell out of him.”

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey is thinking of allowing Dwarf Tossing in his state.

Let’s the dwarf tossing begin!!

SEATTLE, WA — Emergency room physicians in this great Northwestern city have been dealing with a rash of patients suffering from strange ankle bites. Dr. Scott Moore, an internist at Seattle General Hospital, told Weekly World News.

“Initially, we worked on the theory these were some sort of insect bites. We discovered that all the patients had recently been for walks through the botanical garden and crossed over the troll bridge.”

Scientists from the Seattle School of Entomology were dispatched to the arboretum. What they found was no insect.

Dr. Jane Simons told WWN, “I was crossing the troll bridge with my bug net when ‘he’ popped up in front of me. I’ve seen enough horror movies to know right away that this fanged, caped man was a vampire.”

Except the mini-vampire was only three feet high.

Dr. Simons said, “No wonder he could only bite ankles.” She slammed her net over him but he chewed right through and vanished into the thick foliage.

Dr. Simons’ discovery brought a flurry of scientists to Seattle to study the diminutive Dracula. In an attempt to explain the presence of the little nipper, noted Romanian vampire expert Dr. Zoltan Orr said, “A dwarf strain of vampires has long been rumored.

“Around the world we have found evidence of discarded ammunition boxes being used as small coffins and wooden stakes as small as tooth­picks. So we knew there were some little guys out there.”

Regarding the discovery in Seattle, Dr. Orr said, “While vampires are nocturnal, the perpetual grayness of the Pacific Northwest seems to have provided this little fellow with a welcome shield from the sun.”

When asked how the native from Transylvania might have ended up in the Seattle botanical garden Dr. Orr said, “I suspect he was accidentally transported in a box of Romanian dirt. The garden uses native plants and soil and Dr. Simons reports a lush growth of Romanian lilies.”

Dr. Orr indicated the bite from this pocket-sized beast caused only low-grade reactions in his victims but also added, “This small-scale sucker is still highly dangerous even though he is sort of cute — like a baby crocodile is cute.”

Arboretum officials are at a loss as to what to do with the diminutive plasma thief.

“Attendance has been way up since the discovery,” said director Flora Bush. “We have posted warning signs but, frankly, people like to be scared. Nobody ever lost money giving the public what they want. And to be honest, we need the money.”

“I suggest they plant garlic along the paths,” Dr. Orr suggested.

“That should protect the public but still give them a thrill when the vampire pops up and nips at their heels.”