On the second anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death he was spotted in Ohio with Liz Taylor and Marlon Brando.

SHERMAN OAKS, CA – Charlie Sheen’s new webshow, Sheen’s Korner, was the highest rated show in America last night.

NEW YORK, NY – MTV executives have been arrested for airing their new hit show, Skins, which features minors having sex.

HOLLYWOOD – CBS has decided to help Charlie Sheen get the help he needs. They’ve bought him his own brothel in Nevada.

LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan was arrested for assault and battery against a female staffer at a rehab facility.

LONDON – A new study shows that, in Britain, alcohol use causes more harm than heroin and/or crack.

NEW YORK – A drunk Charlie Sheen was arrested last night at the Plaza Hotel. He was naked with 15 escorts and two chimps.

The air you’re breathing is adding inches to your waistline!

SEATTLE – Courtney Love attacks her daughter on her 18th birthday via Twitter. There’s nothing like a Love mother.

RANCHO MIRAGE, CA – A six foot tall rabbit was seen leaving the Betty Ford Clinic this week. Is the Easter Bunny trying to clean up before his big day?