Thousands of aliens are masquerading as doctors in America and the patients who go to them are being subjected to unethical medical treatment, a leading researcher warns.

…and not delivering them! I’m madder than a surgeon with a rusty scalpel – I went to the doctor’s office the other day and found the old sawbones I’ve been going to for 40 years had hung up his stethoscope – and his replacement was a woman.

A coal miner is nursing a sore tush and a fear that he’s destined to join the ranks of the undead!

Playboy Kurt Fulson has never made a proposal on his knee. “Though I have, in fact, just received one there,” the billionaire told Weekly World News.

A local hospital recently revealed that Allan Collinson, son of Ted and Dede Collinson, was born with fragmented, refracted eyes. “At first I thought they were just really, really bright,” said his proud but confused mother.