ATHENS, GA – Kim Jong Il has been sighted at a record store in Athens, Georgia.

North Korea’s formerly deceased communist dictator was seen perusing used records at Wuxtry, the same store where the band R.E.M. was formed

Notably absent from the public eye for months, Kim Jong Il has been recently been spotted in small towns throughout the American heartland. North Korean officials deny these claims, sating “Preposterous! Our Glorious Leader is dead, working tirelessly for the people from the afterlife.”

Here he is relaxing in his Georgia apartment:

Although attempting to blend in, Kim Jong Il attracted unwanted attention when he began happily singing along to Dave Matthews’ “Under the Table and Dreaming” at a listening station.

After nearly two hours of careful consideration he left the store with albums by Tom Waits, Neutral Milk Hotel, and Johnny Cash on vinyl. Before leaving he picked up a flier for a house party at the nearby University of Georgia. Investigation has yet to conclude whether the communist leader attended the kegger.

TRIPOLI – Gaddafi’s rule is over.  Reports say he escaped Libya and is safely in Venezuela with Hugo Chavez.

Colonel Muammar Gaddafi’s 40-year regime to have crumbled as euphoric Libyan rebels swept into Tripoli amid calls from Britain for the leader to “go now”.

Jubilant fighters poured into the city’s main square and celebrated with residents of the capital as Gaddafi’s defenders melted away.

Gaddafi has reportedly escaped – with the help of a British secret service team – and fled to Venezuela, where Hugo Chavez greeted him with open arms.  The two men have been close for years.

Opposition fighters captured the dictator’s eldest son, Saif al-Islam Gaddafi, and the International Criminal Court said it would contact the rebels to discuss his handover for trial on charges of crimes against humanity. A spokesman for the rebels said another of Gaddafi’s sons, Mohammed, is reported to have been in contact with the rebels and is asking for guarantees for his safety.

It came after Downing Street said it was clear the “end is near” for the dictator. “It is clear from the scenes we are witnessing in Tripoli that the end is near for Gaddafi,” the No 10 statement said. “He has committed appalling crimes against the people of Libya and he must go now to avoid any further suffering for his own people.”

Fighters advanced 20 miles from the west with little resistance, overwhelming a military base and then pouring into Tripoli.

Although there were reports that fighting is continuing in some districts, cheering, clapping and celebratory shooting broke out in Green Square, the symbolic heart of the regime, as ecstatic Libyans waved the rebels’ tri-colour flag. Others set fire to the green flag of Gaddafi’s regime.
Thousands also celebrated in Benghazi, and Libyans in Britain were said to be celebrating in London’s Edgware Road.

Libya’s ambassador to the United Nations Ibrahim Dabbashi, who switched to the rebel side, said: “This is not the beginning of the end, it is the end.” He told the BBC that Gaddafi could be “replaced” by rebel officials “within a few hours”.

NATO Secretary-general Anders Fogh Rasmussen said Gaddafi’s regime was “clearly crumbling” and that the time to create a new Libya had arrived.

In a statement, US president Barack Obama said Gaddafi and his regime must recognize that its rule in Libya has come to an end.

MISSOULA, MT – Kim Jong Il was seen performing in the most unlikeliest of places.

The Triple Deuce, a rural bar just outside Missoula, was visited by the dictator of communist North Korea last Thursday. Kim Jong Il attended the weekly open mic night, playing an acoustic set of blues and country standards with a few songs he wrote about his time on the road.

In the past few months, Korean authorities have come under fire for covering for their missing leader.  News agencies and governments have been skeptical of the military’s excuses, especially after obviously faked photos were released by North Korea’s official news agency.

Pyongyang’s Minister of Truth stated via phone, “Of course Our Dear Leader is here! He wouldn’t gallivant around the United States for months at a time and never call.  Absurd! He’s here right now!”

When asked if Weekly World News could speak to Kim, the Minister replied, “Just one moment. Dearest Leader, there’s a phone call for- Oh, sorry, he’s too busy teaching orphans to read.  That’s our Glorious Leader!” and then promptly hung up.

Kim Jong Il played a fifteen minute set including “Walk the Line” by Johnny Cash, “Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks, Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You”, and songs he wrote titled “Sovereign Highway Rambler” and “Lonely at the Top of Mount Paektu”.

Crowds were unsure of how to react to the singing dictator.  Receiving mostly polite applause, he held back tears as he finished his final song and walked off the stage.  After paying for his two ginger ales, he left the bar.

The American government is unsure of what Kim Jong Il may be doing here or where he is going on his tour of the United States. State Department insiders believe he may be working on a solo album.  He was last seen heading south on I-15.

Earlier this week Korean dictator Kim Jong Ill was seen at a Burger King off I-75 in Chattanooga.

Wearing a “Dollywood” t-shirt and Elvis hairstyle, the dictator discreetly ate his meal in a quiet booth in the corner of the restaurant.

Seemingly oblivious to the attention he was attracting, the communist leader nibbled on a Healthy Wrap value meal and some salt water taffy he brought in while flipping through a large illustrated book on the Chickamauga Battlefield State Park.

International news outlets were ablaze earlier this year when the dictator was noticeably absent from ceremonies celebrating North Korea’s 60th anniversary.  His long absence from public appearances has even led some experts to believe he was dead.

Before leaving he approached the cashier and politely asked for “directions to the famous Lookout Mountain.”  Eyewitnesses noticed the large “See Rock City” bird-feeder in his passenger seat as he drove away.