WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama said The U.S. Constitution is out-of-date, so he is ripping it up and writing a new one.

HOLLYWOOD – In what could be a new celebrity trend, Matt Damon, announced he will give all his future earnings to the U.S. government.

WASHINGTON, DC – Nancy Pelosi went on all the news shows to make a proclamation: the world will end on August 2nd!

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Barack Obama revealed his “top secret” method for reducing the $14 trillion debt – he’s selling the White House!

NEW YORK, NY – Due to the economic crisis banks, credit, and collection agencies are employing ninjas to collect outstanding payments.