NEW YORK – Sources say tapes released reveal that Jackie Kennedy believed Lyndon Johnson was also the mastermind behind RFK’s assassination.

NEW YORK – Tapes released by Caroline Kennedy reveal that Jackie Kennedy believed Lyndon B Johnson was the mastermind behind JFK’s assassination.

MIAMI – Miami Heat fans buying up voodoo dolls by the thousands to curse the Mavs.

WASHINGTON – Secret CIA memos reveal that President John F. Kennedy was killed because he wanted to release the UFO files.

A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that watching the Super Bowl causes male impotence!

DALLAS – A rare pink hippo, spotted on a farm outside Dallas, was soon shot dead by a local rancher.

MISSISSIPPI DELTA – On the 20th anniversary of his death, Stevie Ray Vaughan was seen at the Crossroads. He can still play that guitar!

DALLAS, TX – Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced Monday he will suspend his campaign yet again in order to upgrade his cybernetic systems. Sources say he hopes to appear more passably human before the final debate.