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OBAMA PROMISES 600,000 JOBS
WASHINGTON, DC – In an interview Monday, President Barack Obama restated his promise to create 600,000 new jobs by the end of summer.
CIA CLOSES SECRET PRISONS
WASHINGTON, DC – The CIA has announced that it will be shutting down its secret prisons around the world. Yard sales will be used to help the agency recoup precious revenue.
JINDAL IN TALKS WITH SATAN
BATON ROUGE, LA – After their crushing defeat in November the Republican Party was left with no clear leader. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal hopes to fill the power vacuum, and has entered talks with Satan to do just that.
Satan Trading for Souls on Craigslist
“No haggling, no violin lessons, I don’t even have to leave my living room.”
